Someone needs to make a pineapple shaped vacuum cleaner. 
Dyson was awesome. THe tumble down the garage stairs did it in, unfortunately. A plastic thingy broke… instead of getting the part, we got a Miele Marin. Works great (although I miss the option of just being able to shake cat hair out of it in the trash).
Damn, I completely have forgotten about Miele… why didn’t anyone mention it before I sprung for the Dyson lol. Oh well, maybe I can squeeze one in if I get a bigger room… just kidding! But yeah, it is a good thing I live in a single since all my stuff would not fit in a shared room at all lol. The HiFi system alone takes an entire roommate’s area up.
But that sounds right up your alley. Or maybe you should hire a cleaning service instead.
Just FYI @MrThatcher
This months Consumer Reports has vacuum cleaners rated. The Dyson didn’t come out on top as a performer, and it didn’t come out on top for reliability either long term. You might want to read the article. The Shark Stick at 1/2 the cost did way better…and was recommended upstream on this thread.
It’s probably not too late to return that Dyson.
I usually don’t listen to consumer reports because they rated Volvo poorly and honestly, sounds like competitors have bought them out. On top of that, the Shark name doesn’t carry the same weight as Dyson nor does it have the same styling marque.
As I always said, when there is a Mercedes Benz available, why settle for a Toyota?
In other news actually, I went ahead and bought the Dyson Air Purifier because it would perfectly match the V11.
Sometimes when I hear brand names I gag, especially when somebody thinks they are a Rockefeller but really is a Kardashian.
Well, brand names sometimes evoke strange memories/associations. That analogy somehow caused a flashback to 1979, and 70 yr old Nelson Rockefeller’s fatal heart attack with his 25 year old aide, Megan Marshak. But I digress…
@thumper1. Why feed the beast? ?.
Or a Volvo?
Reminds me of when I met some friends out for a drink. One guy brought along someone we didn’t know who went on and on about where he bought his clothes, how much they cost, his Mercedes, and how BMWs just have series while Mercedes had class, etc.
When I’d had as much as I could take, I started talking about how my pants and shirt came from Marshalls, my socks from Costco, shoes from an outlet store, and bragged that all total everything I was wearing added up to around $40! Then I said I had to go soon because I parked my Hyundai at a street meter because the valet fee was too expensive. (All made up - except the Costco socks.) 
One of my close friends started laughing so hard he spit out his drink.
So funny…
Since so off topic… My friend wanted me to go to eat with his two friend’s like quarterly to get to know them better. We would meet at like Gibsons for steak. I went once but stopped after the other two just talked about their investments. One of the two, who was much younger also just talked about his “Beemer” some higher level BMW but that since he bought it its been in the shop and how much he is paying to get it fixed. I just got tired hearing about it and just said “ever think about getting a more dependable car”? Last time I talked to this guy…
LOL… They were both so different from my friend didn’t really understand the connection.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
As amusing as these off-topic comments are to this thread, let’s move on please.
IMO a handheld vac or handheld with a handle attachment (we have one from either shark or Bissell- I forget) are practical because they can be used for both vacuuming the floor and then can be portable (unless one has a long extension cord or a cigarette plug adapter thing) for vacuuming out cars, etc. They suck up just fine, so will probably be a good choice.
Looks like you have money to waste. Sure hope you pay as much attention to your academics as to a silly vac. Top of the line is not always the best way to go even if affordable. btw- I can see why car brands change because things are not always built the same as they were a decade ago (eg Volvo). Please, please do not be a brand name snob. That is so superficial. We taught our son about buying what a thing is worth, not just because it is affordable. To me, Dyson is not worth it for a dorm room, even in stick form.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Closing thread since OP has been temporarily banned.