<p>Maybe we just learn to hide it better over the years? D1 has graduated from a UG school 1500 miles away and is attending grad school less than an hour away. D2 is guesting at a uni 2 hours away instead of her usual one, 17 hours away and D3 does not go away to school for another year.</p>
<p>i adapted to each of the older ones departures, but it leaves a huge empty place that used to be full of “obligations and hassles” which were really so very fun!! I miss the mess after a housefull of HS kids are over for the weekend, I miss all the HS sporting events, the carpools, the smelly uniforms, I even miss some of the HS staff who I got to know so well.</p>
<p>I know I will create a new life for myself, but I think we are all suprised how much a part of our identity the daily obligations of parenthood become- so many days over the past 20-25 years many of us mums have had those moments of feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenthood, then when those kids drive away, we are surprised how those duties have become a beloved part of us.</p>
<p>I guess when we are sad about the "loss’ of our child as a part of our daily lives, we can look at that friend or neighbor who has a 30-40 year old son living at home and realise moving out and up and into their lives is what we want for our kids. Just as the duties of parenthood took a while to get the hang of, it will take a while find replacements which can offer that same level of joy & intensity.</p>
<p>I didn’t cry either. I did get “sick” and ended up watching the Ted Turner channel unable to eat for like five hours in a hotel room. Never saw Norma Shearer movies before. Strange day for me. I slept. I guess I wasn’t having as much fun as I thought I was. Got up and drove home.</p>
<p>Well, I was logging in to tell how I hadn’t cried. D is so happy and the school seems like such a perfect fit - we hardly looked in the rear-view mirror leaving town because it seemed like she was “home” away from home. Then I clicked on that darned country music link… gee, thanks, binx. Those of us who usually avoid the country channel may be particularly vulnerable since I had never heard the song. She is the daddy’s girl in our family!</p>
<p>I haven’t cried. I think he prepared me for the move this past year. I miss the little boy he once was but I am happy to see the teenage boy who was bursting at the seams out on his own. We have barely spoke to him but each time we do he is busy with friends and having the time of his life.
I did cry when my D left. I still miss her.
I do still have one at home.
I also have watched over the years as my neighbor across the street has had a steady stream of her grown children move in and out.</p>
<p>I posted earlier on the “signs of an empty nest” thread that the car radio station stays right where I left it. My H and middle kid prefer classical, my oldest prefers rock. My D is a switch hitter - loves my H’s classical, and also my country. (Could have something to do with their instruments - H plays violin, S1 plays guitar, S2 plays french horn, and D plays both classical violin and fiddle.) But H was with me in the car when that song came on, and I made him listen. He didn’t say anything at all for a long time. I was driving, so I couldn’t look at him.</p>
<p>I miss sharing favorite country songs with D. We are both “poets” at heart, and appreciate the ability to put “life” into words. (My middle kid, the least verbal, has an incredible ability to put feelings into music. But I need words.) I’m planning on creating a DVD of photos for my D using Rascal Flatts’ song, “My Wish.” If you need a more upbeat country song, in line with dragonmom’s post (prior to crying!), check it out.
<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0[/url]”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0</a></p>
<p>Country Music…it’s a killer. I don’t usually listen to it, not that popular in my neck of the woods. I got a huge dose of it last week, though. The week before we had taken only D to her brand new college in the northeast. Home for 2 days them I turned around and accompanied S#1 back to his school in the southeast to help him get his stuff organized (long story- but it was good I went even though he’s a junior). Final day there I was on my own, unlimited miles on the car and I went for a long drive in the hills. Absolutely breathtaking views. Country music was about all I could get. Yes, there was a tear or two, all thanks to that music! That music on that day, leaving 2 of my darlins’ so very far from home. Good thing I was by myself. Heard the Chesney song, heard the Rascal Flats song, and heard another gem about a daughter, and the dad letting her go. </p>
<p>The D in our house is a gem. I miss her. I love my sons and miss the eldest dearly, but hardest to let my D go. But both are so excited and happy to be where they are, and we are so fortunate to be able to have them there - it’s all good. Plus still got one more to keep me on my toes at home for a couple more years. Just a HUGE change to only having one “child” (he towers over me, so child doesn’t properly describe him) in the house. </p>