<p>@terpischoria – do you live far away from school, then?</p>
<p>I HATE BEING A JUNIOR. They weren’t kidding.
Why I’m upset:
-Grades came back. I already knew it, but I got an A- in Calc BC. This sounds totally asian, but I know I could have done better. Literally because of my laziness and that HW = 40% of grades. I had 102% in the test category, dangggit!
- Realized Harvey Mudd, my dream school which I will certainly not get into, requires a physics class. Damn me taking two bio classes and chem. Now I have to do phys at the community college this summer. On top of that, realized Harvey Mudd is an impossibility for me, which sucks.
- I do well in my classes, but I feel as though my teachers don’t even notice me. Awk when my calc teacher called me by another girl’s name.
- My friends have turned into some of the biggest a–kissers, just to get A’s. When they don’t, they complain… so much.
- Not doing well in science olympiad. I was the top scorer last year… definitely not this year.
- Need to self-study more calculus so I can take a class at CC and then multi var for senior year. Why? Because I want to. Apparently my counselor thinks I’m insane for wanting to.
- Track is so stress-relieving, and I love running, but sometimes I think I can do a lot more with those 3 hours.
- Probably going to fail AP bio exam… our class is taught at a sophomore (HS) level.
- Internship is going great, but takes up a lot of my time. Same with volunteering and fundraising for the hospital-- I love what I do, I just wish there were more hours in the day.
- Applying for summer camps (just local ones).
- Writing essays for scholarships.
- Just got booted up to leading chair on band. Now I’m playing a solo for a competition. Unfortunately… I haven’t practiced the solo at all.
- On the robotics team, and the capt. is the biggest d-bag of all d-bags. Of all d-bags. I just want to slap his nasally voice right out of his throat. F-ck this kid.
- Retaking SATs because I want to.
- My friends don’t understand why I’m stressed. I miss the friends I made this summer at camp so badly… perhaps since they always got A’s and stressed as much as I did. I tried telling my friends about college admissions, which I rarely do, and they shot back with, “Dude, you’ll get in.” Um, no. I won’t get in. It’s not possible. My friends want to go to community college or WWU simply to party. In their own words. I’m either with kids who think Stanford has an acceptance rate of 95% or kids who want to go to a 95% acceptance school.
- I’m constantly underestimated, but I always feel as though I’m acting in a really cocky way, or I think very arrogantly. This one girl had the gall to write her resume on the white board in AP Lang, and all I could think was “I do three times as much as you do… please stop.” She couldn’t stop going on and on about how she was going to get accepted into Harvard, and I had to bite down on my sandwich to stop from getting upset.
- I never have time to eat. I’m always studying, driving, exercising, or working. I’ve only had a couple fruit snacks since 3 PM today (it’s 9 PM now). I’ve lost a lot of appetite for food, which is really bad since I need fuel for running.
- My friend keeps bombarding with her boy troubles, even though she turned down a guy who has the biggest crush on her. “I wasn’t leading him on intentionally…” Sure. Now they make goo-goo eyes at each other in APUSH across her boyfriend and I can only gag on my own vomit. These days, I don’t even know.</p>
<p>Bottom line? Sometimes I wish a car would just run me over while I was running. I want more hours every day. I stay away from home as long as I can (7 AM-9 or 10 PM, from school to ECs/intern/volunteer), and coming home just reminds me why I want so desperately to leave. I’m often energetic, but staying up until 3 finishing my HW exhausts me. I do what I do because I love it, but often I wonder if I’m sacrificing too much.</p>
<p>Sorry for the rant…</p>