For our kids, if the kids both go to the same school each pays for their own ticket
if someone asks someone from a different school then asker pays
The tickets for both his prom and her prom last year were $500 per couple, then there is transportation, flowers, haircuts, after prom events. My son is a musician, so he already had a tuxedo and wore traditional black and white for his prom, but for her prom he had to get a bow tie. This year, the girlfriend wants him to match and is going to buy the tie that she likes. For a girl, I would expect about $1000 for dresses, hair and make-up. That’s what it cost for D2 and she graduated 7 years ago. Her prom tickets were, I think, $300 per couple but it may have been $250.
$250 per student!! for what? Our HS’s prom tickets were somewhere between $75 and $90 included dinner and dance. The ticket payment thing depended on the relationship status. But the kids paid for their own space in the prom house, bus, and other expenses. My son bought flowers for his date and she bought him a boutonniere. They stopped doing formal prom photos since all the kids had phones to take their own photos.
That’s the cost of the venue. My son and his date attended expensive private schools, and my D2 attended an inner-city public school and the ticket costs were comparable. Actually, her prom was on a yacht in another state.
None of my kids went to prom houses, they just went to after parties, which required second dresses for the girls!
Our prom tickets are $300 for the couple, this includes bussing there and back. Dress, tux, flowers, hair and make up… it’ll be over $1,000 all in.
I invited a boy from another school to my prom and I paid. The tickets were $25 - a fortune in 1979 - and included dinner.
It doesn’t have to be that much if you have talented friends/family. S2’s 2013 prom date made her own crystal hair clips and decorated a silver evening bag herself. Her sisters came home from college to do her hair, makeup and nails. Her only real expenses were her dress and shoes, both of which were reasonable by prom standards.
Also - what is a prom house? That must be something they don’t do around here.
Dd’s prom tickets were $50/person. Each person purchased their own ticket. The event took place in an upscale hotel with photo ops, lots of food, and dancing. They all went as a big group and split the costs of the limo and dinner.
$500 for a prom ticket is ridiculous. Most students would ditch prom because they couldn’t afford it.
I feel $1000 is just over the top. Though this a well to do area most parents would frown on prom tickets that cost $500 and mostly likely wouldn’t pay it.
I suggest you offer to split the costs.
It is, unfortunately, the expected norm here and that’s what people prepare to pay. As I said, my D attended an inner-city high school, and the turnout was very, very high. Prom is just a very big deal here, for some reason, and the costs of venues are very high.
I think it might make a different in my advice to the OP if the tickets are $500 or $50, especially if this is a “friend date.”
@zoosermom At dd’s school the parents association had lots of fundraising events throughout the year to lower the costs of the prom ticket. I am really thankful for that. They even collected prom dresses from previous graduates so that they could have an event where those who couldn’t manage all the expenses could pick out a dress for free.
Senior year I felt I was constantly writing checks. When you add up all the misc things the costs do add up.
Prom, graduation, senior trip, all night party after graduation. I think I must have spent $300 on everything.
I have to admit the school and parents were really involved in all the planning and making sure that everyone had a memorable time at an affordable cost. Parents donated items for an auction and that raised a lot of money to lower the costs.
Raclut, I think that since the costs of venues are so high here, people just suck it up because they feel that kids should have something really nice. There are usually not senior trips or graduation parties outside of the home, so it’s six of one and a half of a dozen of another. Parents groups often quietly pick up the cost for kids who can’t pay, but the decision is generally made that the events are held at a nice venue.
My son went to an expensive private school (on scholarship), as did his date, and the ticket prices were inflated by things like horse and carriage rides, professional photos for everyone, as well as favors and assorted amenities. But it was a choice. My mom slipped into the coma from which she passed away a few days later as we were driving my son to the prom meet-up location. The pre-prom party for the parents and kids was a spectacularly lavish affair at the home of a multi-multi-millionaire financier. The likes of my husband and I had never been to any such thing before, and they had a professional photographer taking group and couple pictures. It was one of the most special events of my life because it reminded me of light in the darkness. which is not to say that a prom ticket needs to cost $500 per couple, I’m just reminiscing something meaningful for me. The pictures of the Precious Baby King with that lovely girl were worth every single penny to me!
I actually had some concerns with respect to my daughter’s prom since it was a very poor school. I remember that being expressed at a PTA meeting, and the principal, who was a black woman from that neighborhood, explained that many families took issue with the assumption that their kids shouldn’t have a top-of-the-line experience, and that the families and kids had four years to save for the event, and did so. It was very much a thing for kids of all socio-economic backgrounds to have jobs from the time they turned 15 to save for the prom, and the principal helped everyone to understand the great benefit of working to save for something and then achieving it. She was right, and I know for a fact that she personally helped purchase some tickets.
It’s interesting to read how upscale proms are depending on where you live. I guess there is no limit to how much one can spend.
Yikes–I think our prom tickets are $25 each! But prom is subsidized by the school’s parents’ organization/fundraisers. If a student who wants to go truly can’t afford it, he/she can get a free ticket. A couple years ago, S was not going to go to senior prom, but his friend told him that a junior girl from their friend group (theater/choir kids) wanted to go with the group and was thinking of asking S–so S went ahead and asked her. Sort of cute–they were playing husband/wife in a school play at the time. . .but just friends. She wanted to be with her girlfriends/he wanted to be with the guys. He (we) paid for everything (tickets/dinner/flowers/group had a limo, he paid her share). It wasn’t that much. Also, we knew that our family could more easily afford to pay, and that was a factor. We made this a “gift” to our son–he had rarely asked us for any extras. I think the girl offered to pay for her own dinner/limo ride, but I told S to pay. This year, D was asked by a guy she is dating. I expect him to pay. (I’m sure she spent more on her dress than he will on her ticket/dinner/flowers and his tux–and there won’t be a limo).
OP–In the case of friends, I’d expect each to pay his/her own way if they mutually agree to go together. But since the girl did the asking, she should offer to pay–and I think he should refuse to let her pay the whole thing and pay his own way. Also, I think their personal/family finances could be a consideration–if one is from a much-better-off family, if the price tag would be a burden on one and not the other…
“I’m sure she spent more on her dress than he will on her ticket/dinner/flowers”
Tuxes don’t come free. 
Fixed it 
Wow–prices on this thread are pretty variable. D got a dress for about $200. I think we paid $50 for her hair to be done and bought $50 in cosmetics after they did “free” makeup. She bought a lei for the guy for $75 or so and split the limo cost with her friends so each paid $150, I think. Then there was the photographer and the tickets which included dinner, maybe $100 for each? Yes, it does add up. This was for about a decade ago.
There was no meal for the parents or pre-prom or after sponsored by the school, but D’s friends parents did have the kids father at larger, centrally located homes. The proms were generally at nice hotels.
There are certainly venues here where a wedding may cost $250 a head, but that is with alcohol. Our prom is at an “OK” but not top of the line venue and the kids and parents, even the very wealthy ones, are fine with it. It is a prom, not a wedding. But the place is probably less nice than where some of these kids had bar or bat mitzvahs or Sweet 16 parties.
Most kids do end up spending more than $500 for the weekend because they go to the beach in buses and rent out entire small hotels or houses. Only one of mine did that and while I paid for the prom tickets, he paid for the rest and choose not to go on the bus.
There are pre-prom parties at homes with large yards. But no professional photographer (at least at the parties I attended). It was very fun to see all the kids you have known since elementary school all dressed up.
The all night post-graduation party is supported by parents through donations and by local organizations (and probably the PTO).
The tickets when my S graduated 2 years ago were about $75 for a couple. He had a gf at the time, so he (we) paid for tickets (included dinner), transportation (chauffeured town car for just them), and her corsage. Our suburban school is well supported by PTO and the community, which makes Prom Promenade (before prom) and the official After Prom (with thousands of $$$ in giveaways) free. Professional photographer was included with prom ticket and after prom featured a fun photo booth.
At first when you said $500 for a couple I thought no way, but then I factored in local. If a standard hotel room (Doubletree) is $130/night here and $300/night elsewhere primarily due to cost of area, it would make sense to see a mark up in cost of prom due to venue price.
This is really a regional and even a school by school thing. My son was very shy and would never have gone to prom if he hadn’t been asked. But because the girls had the courage to ask him (junior and senior year), he thought it only right to buy their prom tickets. Prom at his school included a really nice dinner, as well. So for each prom, he paid for the tickets, the tux rental and her corsage. She paid for her dress and his boutonniere. There were no limos. Everyone either rode with friends, or took the school-provided motor coach.
My daughter went by herself junior year–she’d just broken up with her boyfriend–so she paid for everything and made her own corsage. My kids’ experience was pretty standard for their particular school.
I always thought that the asker should buy the tickets. When my son was a sophomore he was invited to a friend’s junior ring dance who went to a different school. He said yes. She expected him to pay for his own ticket! I couldn’t believe it! It was her ring dance, she invited him and he didn’t even go the school. He didn’t know anyone else except for her at the dance. He did pay for his ticket.
He learned a valuable lesson: talk about the details upfront.