In our 30 years of marriage we have always divided chores up mainly by who has more bandwidth. Over the years my some jobs have entailed long hours. She picked up the slack back then. I am now returning the favor as my wife’s new job is tough here in the beginning with some long hours. So given the fact I can work from home 1-2 days a week I picking up plenty of the chores like laundry.
I would say losing the two kids and now being empty nesters was an even trade on the chores. Our kids always did chores. Like I didn’t deal with the dishwasher for like 16 years, but with them gone the mess and been reduced as well.