OP- hugs. I have friends, cousins, other loved ones who had a miserable time in their 20’s who found true love (not kidding- their “one and only”) in their 30’s. So no, you are not atypical.
However- leaving a date after 15 minutes and deciding that someone is gay from his voice is a red flag that you’ve got some stuff to work on. So take note of the red flag and agree with Snowball- ask your doctor for a referral.
Videochatting before a date is a practice which almost dooms you to failure during an actual date. What can you learn on a videochat that’s at all helpful? Have a 15 minute phone call to ascertain that you guys will have something to talk about, and then agree to meet for coffee. How valuable is your time that you can’t afford 45 minutes- in a public place- for coffee?
Get treatment for your anxiety and you’ll feel better about the whole thing. If I’d bailed on my now spouse after 15 minutes we wouldn’t have 40+ happy years, kids, grandchildren and tons of adventures.