I have definitely seen this also in many cases.
For context I have been happily married for more than 30 years. I do not know whether this makes me unqualified to comment or very well qualified to comment. I was however well into my 30’s before I met my wife, so I did way back have plenty of experience with being a single guy in his 20’s and 30’s.
People certainly do sometimes meet the right person and in some cases get married when in their 30’s, or even 40’s (or even 50’s and 60’s). I have seen this multiple times.
Perhaps my first thought is that you should think of us guys as just people. Do not assume that it is any easier for a guy to approach you or to ask you out than it would be for you to approach him or to ask him out. If it is rare for a guy to ask you out, that might be for reasons that are similar to why you have not been asking him out. One difference is that in at least many cases guys might have more experience with being told “no”. Regardless, many men will not be comfortable with approaching women, and by the time that they are in their late 20’s or early 30’s might not want to do it any more.
If there is a guy that you like and who might be single, you might want to just ask him out. Alternately, if his name is Bob, then just looking at him and saying “Hi Bob” might be a big step in the right direction.
If there isn’t a guy that you like and who might be single, then perhaps you need to get out in public more. See what activities or classes are available at a local community center. Consider joining the Appalachian Mountain Club or something similar. See if there are local dance lessons for singles. A handsome single Harvard educated lawyer is not going to show up at your front door asking to borrow a cup of sugar. You need to go where the single guys are (and probably not the ones who hang out in bars).
Continuing with counseling seems like a good idea. Sometimes a different counselor is needed if the first one does not work out.
Regarding the high or effeminate voice that makes it seem like a guy might be gay. I can remember two cases from my past of friends or acquaintances who I wondered about. One I later got to know reasonably well. He was definitely not gay, very smart, very kind, and quite successful in his career. He would have been a great catch for the right woman. There was one other guy who I wondered when I first met him, but a couple of weeks later I met his wife (who was, like the guy, a great person – she was also very attractive). A voice really does not indicate anything.
Definitely yes. However, do not expect an aggressive man to sweep your off your feet, and do not expect a guy to be perfect. None of us are perfect. It is just as hard for a man to meet a woman as it is for a woman to meet a man.
And I do not think that any of this has gotten any easier over the 30+ years since I met my wife.