<p>Yeah I’ve known that I don’t produce any welcoming signals around people and yet I always have to not “keep my guard down”.</p>
<p>That’s an understandable argument. People need to look approachable or else no one will… approach them =|</p>
<p>Maybe you should bring this problem up with a psychologist instead of strangers on the internet.</p>
<p>This is a refreshingly modest thread amidst the usually ambitious topics here. I’ve come to believe that shy people are often so because they see the complexity of things and hesitate to sound off, observing how often others speak without knowing or speak while saying nothing. Witness everyone yapping on cell phones. What the heck has to be said so urgently walking down the street? I was shy when I was younger, feeling that I had nothing to contribute and now I never shut up and without fear can talk to anyone . Progress?</p>
<p>“Maybe you should bring this problem up with a psychologist instead of strangers on the internet.”</p>
<p>Maybe you should be more considerate.</p>
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<p>Eh, who gives a ****.</p>
<p>gah, there’s nothing wrong in being shy.
for years, whenever somebody would tell me i’m shy, i would hate it. really hate it. it wasn’t because it wasn’t true or anything because i knew i was, but because i felt like being shy was wrong.
you had to be an extrovert, you had to talk a lot. </p>
<p><em>shrugs</em> for me, it was only when i accepted myself as being a shy person, as being naturally made like one that i became less shy. it’s ironic really.</p>
<p>if you really want to get out of it, try drama classes. every week you’re always in a controlled but still uncomfortable social situation. you get to practice interacting with fellow actors as welll you really got to trust them to make scenes work. from my experience, i felt i needed to drop that wall that i had put around myself in order to become a certain character.</p>
<p>good luck!
remember, there’s nothing wrong with being a shy person.
some people are born extroverts while others are like us.</p>
<p>I’ve been quiet my whole life because my family doesn’t talk much either and they are anti-social. So I grew unfortunately with the same traits. I still hate talking on the phone with a passion. But being in the military made me more comfortable with meeting new people. I’m still quiet at meals because I really got nothing to talk about and can’t really join in with other people’s conversations. There are a few topics I can go on about.</p>
<p>I agree with the drama class idea. I’m a musical theatre nerd, but I was always too shy to get involved with it myself until my junior year in high school (last year). It was really awkward at first, but I felt more comforable as I realized that everyone shared similar interests with me. Just get involved in something you’re really passionate about and it should help you relate and talk with people. I’m actually planning on majoring in theatre in college, which I never would’ve thought 2 years ago, so you just never know. Of course, I’m still insanely quiet, but it has helped, and at least I can be obnoxious when I act and not feel like people will be dissing me for that or something.</p>
<p>I’m quiet because I think to observe everything. Some people find me intimidating because I don’t talk, and I think that is insecurity on their part. Many people have always told me “I never really hear you talk, but when you do, you have the most intelligent thing to say.” Hell, the only reason I received an A in most of my classes was because as one professor put it “Even though you didn’t participate alot in class participation which accounted for 25% of your grade, the quality of your rare contributions to class discussions made up for it.” People are disappointed by the fact that I don’t speak more often, but I just can’t speak without thinking carefully about it. It use to make me feel extremely depressed, I thought I would be this lonely quiet reserved girl forever. After 18 years of being ridiculed for my quiet introverted nature, I’ve come to accept it as my personality. I will never be a social butterfly. I will never be the life of the party. I will never be the most popular girl on campus. I will never have 300 friends on facebook. As long as I can articulate my thoughts in an effective and intelligent manner, I am okay.</p>
<p>entropy, well-said. :)</p>
<p>i think people need to realize that there’s nothing wrong with being a shy, quiet person. sometimes that’s just how we’re suppose to be.</p>
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<p>That would be a lie anyway. There’s no way someone could keep up with 300 people like that. :P</p>
<p>Alright! I’ve been changing my mindset on how I think about myself, the way I act and it seems to be working in regards to gaining confidence. bye bye shyness.</p>
<p>do something extraordinary.</p>
<p>It takes some time to overcome shyness. Unfortunately, there are very few benefits to being shy. It isn’t like the difference between being lonely and being alone.</p>
<p>Gah, this is annoying. I never have anything to say to people. Seems like the only time I start talking and be very social is when I drink alcohol.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about being shy, I had that same problem. It’s because I was very self-conscious of myself and I was afraid I’d look like an idiot to everyone if I talked (what if I said something wrong?). People viewed me as standoffish, I had a hard time making eye contact. At the end of high school, I realized I didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t the kid who wouldn’t shut his mouth, but I would speak when spoken to as I would with anyone else. By the time college arrived, I soon found myself engulfed in the same old problems. It seemed everyone around me was a class clown, hardcore partyer and just plain obnoxious. I know that’s not who I am and it’s definitely not something I’m going to be pressured into being. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t the awkward shy kid who just didn’t know how to deal with social situations, I just couldn’t hold a conversation. By now, I really could care less because I’m finding out that they are the ones failing college and I’m not. I don’t have any hatred for them, it’s just I was once pressured to be like them and I just found people to hang out with that were my type. Laid back but with a sense of humor, not the ones needing to be the center of attention. It’s good to let yourself go once in a while, but don’t make it a perogative. To overcome my shyness, I asked myself, “Why? Why are you so shy?” It’s cause I felt like I would be looked at as an idiot. The epiphany hit me one day when there was a kid who was having a blast at a dance contest. If I was in his shoes, I felt I would look terrible but he was terrible and everyone just laughed. They didn’t stand there and think to themselves, “what a loser.” Anyway, that’s my story. Don’t fret it.</p>
<p>Well, here’s my personal story.</p>
<p>I’m a guy who people have to get to know some. While I’m always friendly, not a whole lot of people can see everything about me at first. I usually rubbed off as being somewhat introverted despite always making an effort to say hi to people.</p>
<p>While I have many friends who I consider a part of my family almost (we’re all that close), there is only one who I would tell anything personal to…and I’ve known all the others much longer! There’s also my best buddy who’s not part of our peer group (mostly because he’s 31 and we’re all between 16-19) who I would trust.</p>
<p>Both of the people I feel comfortable about telling stuff to effectively broke a barrier that some people may refer to as shyness. If you find someone like that you will feel much better. I really miss seeing both of them on a daily basis.</p>
<p>Don’t ever feel like a loser. I am notorious for getting to know people who have this school of thought. I always put myself on their level when talking to them, and eventually introduce them to others I know. The three people who I have approached like this have all gone on to be very outgoing. Shyness, like the common cold, can be beat.</p>
<p>So you’re quiet…big deal. Some people are more naturally introverted and some are more extraverted. The only thing about being shy is if it is taking opportunities and things away from you or making you unhappy. Then it must change. Not necessarily your quietness overall but in certain situations like group work when you never get your ideas across. But otherwise, shyness is an ingrained personality trait. No way you can change it. </p>
<p>But you can make it better. Like for instance, your shyness destroying your self-confidence. There are a couple of really good past forums here for self-confidence. There are a lot of quiet people I know that still have confidence, just becausee you’re quiet doesn’t mean you have to have no self-confidence. A lot of people just assume quietness is inherently bad. It’s not. Sometimes it’s good to keep things to yourself.</p>
<p>Better than spreading yourself to thin. Like I am prone to do. I am an extravert and it is much easier for an extravert to be self-confident in this world because outgoing, talkative people are looked highly upon. I mean how many magazines have an EXCLUSIVE because they finally got so and so out of the their shell. Whereas they often cater to those who are out and about and not afraid to share their information.</p>
<p>Hey it can be cool to have 600 friends but if you don’t really know any than it is lame and there is no point. I do actually know all of the people on my list from meeting them in person but I am only good friends with about 30-50 of them and really good friends with less than that. So is my list really any bigger than someones who is 30-50? Not really. I just like to be out and about because that is my personality type. Others? Not so much. No big deal.</p>
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<p>Amen. I really hate how people in general associate quietness as a bad thing in general.</p>