Why applicants overreach and are disappointed in April...

[mathmom]

http://admissions.tufts.edu/apply/advice/past-essays/ sample essays from Tufts

GW admissions officers said of essays. A handful made them sit up and want to admit a kid. The vast majority were fine, but really only confirmed the rest of the application. A handful were so awful they put a kid in the immediate reject pile.

One thing regarding essays, is that being a little daring can be a good strategy if you can pull it off. Like calmom’s kid, my son applied to U of Chicago - a few years later - just as it was beginning to shoot up in popularity, but at that time the EA acceptance rate was about 25% and they had not introduced ED. His “Why Chicago Essay” began “When my parents suggested I apply to the University of Chicago I thought they were crazy” and then he listed all the reasons why UC was not a good fit. The second half of the essay was what he found when he dug a little deeper. My favorite was that he wanted a university on one of the coasts and he realized that Lake Michigan was practically a coast. We know it caught their eye because after they accepted him they mentioned it in a holiday card they sent him. Now we know that was part of their recruiting effort, but they had to pick some aspect of his application and that was the one they chose. This was my diamond in the rough kid and he knew he had to take some risks with his essays, because he didn’t have any earthshaking accomplishments to point to and his grades and scores were all over the map. (At least one C+ from freshman year, 100 point spread in SAT scores.)

[itsgettingreal17]

I refer to this as appropriate targeting and matching. If the student is a good match for the school/program and the school/program a good match for the student, and the application is able to convey that well, the student will have a better than average shot at admission (and for competitive merit scholarships). This was my philosophy when helping my D with her apps and I take the same approach with other students and families I work with. It’s been very successful so far.

[labegg]

^^^^My eldest daughter applied to a school in upstate NY with a essay that consisted of a top 10 list on why she is not a “Texan” at heart. It didn’t seem to hurt, she was accepted with a note that said the top 10 list made them laugh but that she was still going to get “hat hair” from winter hats. DD #2 wrote an outstanding essay, from her heart, on the optional essay “C” prompt: “if you had a ticket to anywhere” for Texas A&M. She said would go to Disneyworld because it was a family tradition and our family makes visiting Disney a competitive event. I imagine the emphasis on traditions, family and such sounded really good to a school that prides itself on traditions.

[mackinaw]

Cool story, mathmom! When my son applied to UofC, he had never actually seen the campus. He first saw it when he attended “admitted students day.” His essay wasn’t about Chicago – the university or the city. It was about why a kid from a midwest college town had intimate knowledge of the “Three Gorges Dam” project in China, and why he’d been motivated to read deeply by being a high school debater. It was I who got him to apply to Chicago because I thought he would benefit from the “core” curriculum and find his way to grad school. But Chicago also fit one of his core goals: to attend college in a “major league city,” by which he meant a city with major league sports teams.

So what did the adcom see in him? That he was a thinker and intellectually competitive (literally so, as a debater – though UofC did not have a debate team). He’d also been opinion editor of his high school newspaper.

UofC was a perfect fit for him, and with an acceptance rate of 35% or so it would have been very surprising had he not been admitted.

[gallentjill]

Because this is fun and I am procrastinating, here are a couple of blurbs from other colleges which show how different they really are:

Lafayette:

We seek students from across the country and around the world from varied backgrounds who are curious, passionate, and inventive. A Lafayette student possesses an unyielding desire to achieve great things. If this describes you, we’d love to get to know you.

This is surprisingly reflective of the vibe we got when we visited the school. There was an emphasis and competition, achievement, school spirit (sports) and Greek Life. My daughter knew right away that this was not the place for her.

Kenyon:

As an undergraduate institution, Kenyon focuses upon those studies that are essential to the intellectual and moral development of its students. The curriculum is not defined by the interests of graduate or professional schools, but by the faculty’s understanding of what contributes to liberal education. The faculty’s first investment is in Kenyon’s students. The College continues to think of its students as partners in inquiry, and seeks those who are earnestly committed to learning.

I would imagine that an essay which talked about a love of learning would go a lot farther than one talking about how much the student wants to eventually get an MBA or MD.

Princeton

We look for students with intellectual curiosity, who have pursued and achieved academic excellence. We also look for students with strong personal and extracurricular accomplishments.

A lot of emphasis here on what students have already achieved. It looks like they want to assemble a very impressive looking class.

Pomona

Pomona attracts students with strong academic passions who want to do something meaningful with their lives.

They also stressed several times on the page how much they value collaboration.

[homerdog]

@gallentjill Thanks for doing that work for me! Three of those four schools are on S19’s list. LOL.

[theloniusmonk]

“Who’s application was this? You mean your kid, right?”

lol, I didn’t even catch the number of we’s in that, too late at night for me!

[Midwestmomofboys]

Since we spent a lot of time visiting Ohio colleges, and there was a thread recently about Kenyon, Denison and Oberlin seeming really similar to the student – here is what those three schools say about themselves.

Oberlin: “Oberlin is a place of intense energy and creativity built on a foundation of academic, artistic, and musical excellence. With its longstanding commitments to access, diversity, and inclusion, it is the perfect laboratory in which to study and design the world you want.”

Also, its tag line – “Think one person can change the world? So do we.”

Denison: “A Denison University education is not just for a living, but for a life. Our purpose is to inspire and educate our students to become autonomous thinkers, discerning moral agents, and active citizens of a democratic society. Through an emphasis on active learning, we engage students in the liberal arts. Denison graduates are educated to be curious, resourceful, and reflective. They are well prepared for the rapidly changing world of the 21st century.”

Kenyon: “We set high academic standards and look for talented students who love learning. Small classes, dedicated teachers, and friendly give-and-take set the tone. Kenyon welcomes curiosity, creativity, intellectual ambition, and an openness to new ideas. We see learning as a challenging, deeply rewarding, and profoundly important activity, to be shared in a spirit of collaboration.”

If I had to characterize these (your mileage may vary), I see Oberlin emphasizes individuality and creativity; Denison emphasizes critical thinking and active citizenship; and Kenyon emphasize learning for its own sake.

If my kid’s dream school were Kenyon, I would not encourage them to write an essay that focuses on how Kenyon is a stepping stone to their dream career, maybe it is, but that is not going to resonate with the mission of the school. Instead, consider an essay which demonstrates how the student got jazzed up about an idea and ran with it, exploring it to its fullest.

Of course, you only write one Common App essay so you can’t tailor it to each school. But thinking about an essay that will demonstrate characteristics that meet some consistent theme across schools is useful. As is thinking about the short answer questions and any “why X school” essay.

[evergreen5]

curious

earnestly committed to learning

intellectual curiosity

strong academic passions

To me, these are all different ways of saying the same thing, overlapping almost entirely (while “academic” is easily distinguishable from “intellectual,” coupling it with “passions” muddies the waters). Perhaps that’s as it should be, as intellectually curious students ought to be able to fit within the group of personalities at most top colleges.

unyielding desire to achieve great things

Without reading the tea leaves on the website to verify, this reminds me of Harvard.

@Midwestmomofboys But thinking about an essay that will demonstrate characteristics that meet some consistent theme across schools is useful.

I agree this sounds like a wise approach as I think there’s a ton of overlap.

[allyphoe]

@Midwestmomofboys My spreadsheet has that quote for Oberlin, too! And I agree with your analysis.

Haverford: “Haverford attracts intellectually curious, independent learners who value honesty, collaboration, and above all, new ways of seeing and improving the world.”

Occidental: “Oxy students are collegial and urbane, socially active and globally aware. Cosmopolitan. We have the smarts and the skills to get by in the classroom, in L.A., and around the world.”

WUStL: “Washington University in St. Louis is building a better world by preparing and supporting more effective leaders with the knowledge, experience, dedication and creativity to tackle complex problems. We are a community of people driven to meet the world’s challenges.”

Wesleyan (U in CT): “The university seeks to build a diverse, energetic community of students, faculty, and staff who think critically and creatively and who value independence of mind and generosity of spirit.”

Trinity (U in TX): " At Trinity University, we create connections. We confront global challenges and challenge the status quo. We are confident. We are curious. We are catalysts."

Pomona: “Pomona students are inspired to engage in the probing inquiry and creative learning that enable them to identify and address their intellectual passions. This experience will continue to guide their contributions as the next generation of leaders, scholars, artists and engaged members of society to fulfill the vision of the College’s founders: to bear their added riches in trust for all.”

Not every school is explicit and obvious in what they’re looking for, but a surprising number are.

[momofthreeboys]

I agree with what you are saying Midwestmomofboys and knowing kids who attended all of those colleges I would have to agree with how they landed where they landed. I also agree with allyphone that many schools do give clues what they are looking for. And I would think that kids looking at LACs WOULD be looking to bucket those that most closely match what they want. So a singular essay re-purposed could work…Someone applying to Oberlin probably would not be applying to Dennison if they’ve done any research. It’s why the “just like this one” threads were so helpful to me years ago. I haven’t seen any of those in recent years.

[Ynotgo]

@Midwestmomofboys I don’t know about the other Ohio colleges, but in 2017 the Kenyon application did not have a space for essays or attachments other than the regular Common App essay (and additional notes) and a resume. We thought this was odd, since it is well-known for its creative writing program. There was no “Why Kenyon?” essay.

(My son was admitted there even though he is a very pointy physics, CS, math student. And Kenyon doesn’t have a CS major. I don’t know why they admitted him; I thought they would waitlist him for sure because he’d never expressed interest other than opening their emails.)

Anyway, make sure the applications call for supplemental essays when you are doing this research.

I suppose one could customize the Common App essay. DS only had 2 versions of that essay, but many of the colleges on his list asked for 4+ supplemental essays.

[Midwestmomofboys]

I would suggest doing this research when framing the Common App essay, and also when thinking about prioritizing and filling out activities list on Common App. It can also be used when sharing the student’s brag sheet/resume for the teacher recs – my kid “framed” his resume/brag sheet with an intro describing why he was interested in the schools he was applying to and how the thought he fit them. Combined, I think those contributed to a coherence to his application. As I’ve said elsewhere, we needed merit, so he had no reaches, only matches and safeties. But the merit awards came back larger than predicted so I’ve figured that the coherence of his application may have contributed to that result.

Kenyon dropped its “why us” essay several years ago, we were told that Kenyon would look to other indicators of demonstrated interest, beyond the “why us” essay, including communicating with school, interviewing etc. For Class of '21 – the students who entered Kenyon in Fall '17 – there was a drop in number of applications and an increase in acceptance rate, so that could have influenced Kenyon’s admissions process for the incoming Class of '22.

[doschicos]

Kenyon’s dropping the supplemental essay was a strategy to increase applications. Colby has played the same strategy.

[lookingforward]

Good job, GJ and and others.

1. Many schools don't obviously ask a Why Us. But they can expect to see this in other supp questions. Or even in the ECs or transcript.
2. Show, not just tell. Dont tell them, eg, that youre intellectually curious (because you read they like that,) if you can't show it in the rest of your record. Be realistic when you match yourself to their wants or likes.
3. I'm surprised you're all doing this work and posting it for so many schools, which spares others from their own drive to understand. Nonetheless, don't always exect these qualities to show up in one definitive paragraph. Keep looking, to understand. And, to see how these words or phrases manifest in other examples or statements. That's part of my Yale example. First glance isn't always the only view you need.

UCBalumnus might say this: and the general goals a U has, for its community, aren’t always the picture for some majors. Those wannabe stem kids, eg, often can’t get away without the math-sci activities.

Anyway, for the original track of this thread, you can start to see why those “top performers,” who think their hs gpa, rigor and rank, plus some flashy EC or two, make them naturals for some of these colleges, can be missing a big chunk of the picture.

[gallentjill]

Getting a “Good job” from @lookingforward is like getting a smiley face sticker on the top of my homework!

[BrianBoiler]

I appreciate all the people who put up what Universities say they are looking for in a student. We experienced the same thing. In fact the GaTech admissions officer went out of his way to show us what they were looking for in their essays during a campus visit. My son still felt he knew better and didn’t try to do that. When parents what universities to be more transparent, I don’t know what more they are looking for. Maybe a scoring rubric? I just don’t think that is possible.

They want students who draw a complete picture of themselves in the application that helps the college accomplish its goals and objectives. They tell you what those are, your job is to connect you to them.

I’m reminded of employees who want to know the checklist they need to complete to get a promotion. “Please list out the training I need to become a Senior Engineer? How many years am I here before I get Senior? My JD says I need to show that I work well on multiple teams. How many until I get a promotion?” Life isn’t like that. You can’t put down a recipe that will show you exactly what you need to get into a university. But you do need to be able to communicate how you would be a good fit in the student body through the application. If you are a perfect stat kid, but cannot do that, then it might show other issues that point to why you don’t fit in.

[gallentjill]

@BrianBoiler What was Ga Tech looking for?

[BrianBoiler]

It was four years ago so I won’t get it exactly, but one had to do with advancing the state of the art and the other had to do with applying that advancement to community.

[socaldad2002]

From Ga Tech admission page:

"In our comprehensive, holistic admission process, we consider your academic background as well as your pursuits and interests outside the classroom. We look for students who enjoy being challenged and who are committed to furthering the Institute’s mission of “improving the human condition.”