@Eidetic From one parent of a deferred son to another, I truly understand your disappointment. They wouldn’t have applied if they didn’t think there was a chance of admission. It’s sobering to realize that MIT, along with other elite schools, get so many high caliber applicants that they could fill multiple freshman classes from their amazing applicant pool.
Several things I would say. First is that MIT never claimed there was any advantage to applying early. We cannot be angry at an institution for failing to live up to a promise they never made. A cursory glance at previous years’ acceptance rates make it clear.
Second, we should count our blessings. Over 2,000 EA applicants would do anything to be counted in the deferred pool. Our kids are still in the running!
Third, and I say this with gentle humility as a parent who has made a lot of mistakes, this is an opportunity to speak hope and encouragement to our kids during a time in their lives when they may feel insecure and unsure about the future. Railing in anger about a disappointing outcome doesn’t help. It only serves to perpetuate a victim mentality. Rather than focus on the heartbreak, we can take this time to build up our kids and let them know that hope is not lost. We fully believe that they will succeed wherever they land. Their worth is in who they are, not in an institution.