<p>I have no connection to the Office of Admission, so you can discount my comments accordingly</p>
<p>You are applying RD, right? You have generations of family connections, and the open (it is not new anymore) curriculum excites you so much, and you know the place is for you, but you didn’t apply ED? Not a showstopper, but maybe think twice about leading with the legacy card if you are not applying ED. They will know you are a legacy in any event, and there are other ways to work that in on your own if you wish.</p>
<p>Possible suggestions:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Instead of talking about “how Brown has been in my family for generations” maybe talk about why your family connections have helped you understand your responsibilities to contribute to the Brown community should you be admitted, and why you are capable and eager to fulfill them.</p></li>
<li><p>Instead of talking about “how after I took a class…I just knew the place was for me” maybe talk about why that class made you realize something about yourself that would enable you to thrive at Brown.</p></li>
<li><p>Instead of talking about how the Open Curriculum excites you so much, maybe talk about why some of your personal characteristics would enable you to productively exercise the freedom and responsibility required to maximize the benefits the Open Curriculum offers</p></li>
</ol>