<p>I think it sounds fine. It really isn’t necessary to read a book and write what you ‘should write’ according to some formula. That is not original. If you are writing sincerely with your own ideas of why Brown speak to you that is better to me. Really when I think back this was not a strong part of my dis’s application I’m afraid but otoh, she didn’t read books and write a studied, canned response either. </p>