<p>oh well ya know kidz nowdays- they have no patience for introducing a topic.
;)</p>
<p>I also agree with delamer.</p>
<p>Earned responsibility and appreciation for logical consequences are tools we can all give our kids, no matter our income level.</p>
<p>^Yeah, but I think this kid has a… special perspective. I feel weird about digging this up, but I thought I remembered the OP. For example… .</p>
<p>“How much do you spend in one semester of dorming?”</p>
<p>BMWdude335</p>
<p>“$950/month. just over 1k with utilities/tv/internet.”</p>
<p>I like that parents are focusing on what “spoiled” does or doesn’t mean.</p>
<p>How do you define “spoiling”? I have been called spoiled because my parents paid for me to attend college even though I spent 2 years at cc and worked from the time I was 15. </p>
<p>I had a friend growing up who had all of the latest toys, clothes, great vacations, etc. I never considered her spoiled, she was one of the nicest people I knew, she just happened to be from a family with a lot of money and that’s they way they lived.</p>
<p>I do think that because of a number of factors such as smaller family size and our society’s emphasis on consumer goods that kids have a lot more things (toys, clothes, electronics) than in prior generations. But it’s all relative, isn’t it? When my parents were growing up in the 1940’s many middle class families didn’t have cars (theirs didn’t). Now the middle class “norm” is 2 or more cars. It also depends on where you live. I live in an affluent suburban area and one of the challenges as a parent is in defining what is appropriate to provide for them as befitting your family values and budget while keeping in mind that it is important for children to fit in. My S recently moved out of an extremely wealthy community in large part because of this issue.</p>
<p>I read over this thread a few times without answering because honestly, I do get annoyed when someone who has not had children feels it necessary to make stereotypes and criticisms of parents. Hey we were all perfect parents until we had kids.</p>
<p>I will say that my parents made slightly over $50,000 when I was younger and I definitely had none of that. I had a laptop and cell phone when I was able to pay for them, and I still have never owned a car.</p>
<p>Anyway, where is the assumption that these kids are all getting this before having to work for it? I was an SAT tutor for a year or so and when I tutored, it was mostly to kids with fairly wealthy parents (Kaplan is expensive). Most of the kids I worked with were pleasant, well-adjusted kids, with good heads on their shoulders and a hard-working spirit, even though most of them owned cars their parents had bought for them and had their own computers and mobile phones. I never had a problem assigning homework to them because they had the intrinsic motivation to do well.</p>
<p>Not going to lie, part of the reason I will buy my children cars when they’re teenagers (not luxury cars, but something to get around) is that I didn’t have a car when I was a teen and I know how a car can enhance socialization and work opportunities. I wanted one really badly. Similarly, my parents didn’t save any money for me to go to college - they never expected me to go, as no one in my family had - and so I kind of had to choose whatever school gave me a lot of scholarship money. I was still able to choose a great school, but I’d want my own children to have more variety in their choices, therefore I plan to start a 529 for my kids as soon as they’re born (AND limit the amount of kids I have, so I can give more to less, as silly as that may sound).</p>
<p>A mobile phone is also a great way to keep in contact with your child, especially in case of emergencies (as long as they can prove themselves responsible in using it). I think every parent wants to be able to provide more for their kids than they had when they were growing up.</p>
<p>On the other hand, though, I’m glad that I didn’t grow up with a whole lot (like the young lady in Debbie S7’s example). Graduate school isn’t really conducive to having that much. Part of the reason I think I can manage is because my parents taught me delayed gratification.</p>
<p>But the majority of parents don’t spoil their kids. This survey forgets that most of the world is poor.</p>
<p>We give our kids all the current “hip” necessities – laptops, iphones, sports cars, gym memberships but we NEVER buy them anything luxurious. It’s their job to find a job if they want “wants”.</p>
<p>juillet, and I didn’t even bother to learn to drive till I was 22 and won’t give my kids cars. However we live in an area where much of what my kids want to do is within walking distance or they can take public transportation.</p>
<p>Two squabs in every pot, and a Bimmer in every garage. Yeah that’s definitely spoiled … one squab should be enough!</p>
<p>simple answer: too much $$, too few kids to spend it on.</p>
<p>I’m surprised that the original post has generated so many responses. This was a pretty clear case of ■■■■■■■■, if you ask me. How many of us make $200,000 and give our kids new cars? Let’s stop encouraging this dipstick.</p>
<p><a href=“AND%20limit%20the%20amount%20of%20kids%20I%20have,%20so%20I%20can%20give%20more%20to%20less,%20as%20silly%20as%20that%20may%20sound”>quote</a>
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<p>Not silly at all. Very responsible.</p>
<p>I think a lot of the kids that are spoiled in terms of material goods have parents who buy them stuff in lieu of spending significant time with them. Those parents also tend to be the ones who want to be “friends” with their kids, and in that world nothing says BFF better than gifts.</p>
<p>Spoiling kids is not the same as providing things for kids, or attention either. Spoiling is more of an attitude. If kids appreciate what they have and also have responsibilities (have worked jobs and such), they can develop good values even if they have been fortunate to have certain possessions or parents who shower them with what they can afford to do for their kids or give them attention. </p>
<p>I find this rather interesting since the OP has BMWdude for a name!! LOL! By the way, we purchased a “kids’ car” (not a luxury one!) when our oldest started to drive and then it went to the next child when the first one went off to college. We never saw this as spoiling but rather as helping US because we live in a rural area with no public transportation and had two kids who were very involved in ECs with much long distance driving involved and it REALLY helped to have a kid who could drive and so a parent could take one kid to her activities and the other kid could get herself to her own activities. Yes, they were lucky we provided this and some kids pay for their own cars, that’s true. But my kids seem to appreciate it and it was rather the norm for a kid to have a car here. Things like IPods and such, were never just bought for our kids on a regular basis, but were the type of thing given for a birthday present. </p>
<p>Find it rather shocking to think that someone posted that parents should just provide shelter and food. Really.</p>