I actually feel a bit badly for the OP who seems to have such sky high expectations for him/herself and no concept of what is truly important in life. I’m guessing this was ingrained throughout his/her upbringing.
Unless they have been struck by tragedy there is no reason to feel badly for those who have made lifestyle choices and (as the OP terms it) have “fallen off.” Nobody has the right to make judgements about (legal) choices that other people make.