Why do people hate Jews so much?

Parent Cafe
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<p>I had to ask my son’s permission before I shared this story.</p>

<p>We are a Jewish family, conservative to reform in orientation, Jewishly involved. As my boys have matured, each has chosen to become more observant.</p>

<p>A few years ago, S3 was the newest member on a travel club soccer team. The team met for breakfast in the morning on the day of their first tournament game. When the food arrived, one of the fathers said to my son, “X, welcome to the team. We are all so happy to have you with us. Would you like to lead us in saying grace?”</p>

<p>My son lifted his piece of toast and said HaMotzi in Hebrew and English, and then passed pieces to each person at the table.</p>

<p>The father who asked him to say grace was Very perturbed–the prayer was very short, did not invoke G-d’s favor, it was in Hebrew…(he was sort of spluttering all over the place…)</p>

<p>My son simply said, “Well, our longer prayer is after the meal…” </p>

<p>The father continued with all kinds of negative mutterings and out loud comments. Some very antisemitic. Some like, “well, I didn’t know you were a JEW”</p>

<p>So my son bensched when he had finished eating. From memory, of course. With all the fun embellishments learned at camp and youth group. He put on a bit of a spectacle because he was ticked!</p>

<p>He didn’t mind being different. But he didn’t like the attitude.</p>

<p>It was educational for him and for me and his team mates and their families. It turned out that the father had never actually known a single Jewish person! From a small town in Ohio, he had never had any exposure to others who were not “good Christians.”</p>

<p>My son ended up making some good friends on the team, but never really felt an integral part of the team off the field. He was never quite comfortable when the team would huddle for a prayer before playing, etc.–he had never before been on a team that did that–and, in addition to being somewhat uncomfortable with the prayers offered (definitely not generic in nature) he noticed that he was never ever called upon to lead the prayer, even when he was captain his second year on the team, his co-captain would always quickly ask someone else.</p>

<p>I should add the the coaches of this club team were fantastic individuals and coaches and that they were not involved in this aspect. Most teams take a quick, inspirational huddle before a game–without the coaches participation–it was just this team’s particular flavor and orientation.</p>

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<p>Good for your son, boysx3! Sounds like those kids needed a little education.</p>

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<p>boysx3, love that story! sounds like something my D1 would do.</p>

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<p>in the vein of “anti Semitism is alive and well,” I have this recent story. I hope it translates - it was kind of a “you had to be there” moment, but here goes:</p>

<p>we were recently at a David Sedaris performance in a large Midwestern city. David was talking about collecting stories of unbelievable rudeness. his third story went something like this: during the December holidays he was on a plane that had just landed. the flight attendant was doing the usual “please stay in your seats with your seatbelt fastened until the plane has come to a complete stop” routine. she then said " we’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. and for those of you already standing…Happy Hanukkah." David paused and said “I don’t even know what that was…” and the person behind us said “the truth!”</p>

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<p>My FIL attended a military academy and served in the AF. My father enlisted and served in Vietnam. My gfather fought in WWII, in North Africa. H has several uncles who fouhgt in WWII as well. I agree with jym, don’t perpetuate stereotypes.</p>

<p>Today, where are the bulk of enlistees coming from, socioeconomically? Are those the same socioeconomic circles as most young Jewish males? My guess would be no, though I have no data to back this up.</p>

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<p>I was proud of my son too.</p>

<p>I was sitting at a different table with a lot of the moms (for some reason, a lot of the dads sat with the players and the moms sat at a different table on that team…that team had a lot of interesting quirks) and didn’t know the story until after the games that day. All I heard was him bensching at the top of his lungs. I was pretty worried after that about my son fitting in…he had just turned 15.</p>

<p>Interestingly, when the coaches made my son a captain his second year on the team, one of the coaches told me this incident was one of the reasons they appointed him…they felt he would be a good on field leader because he was not easily intimidated and does not back down.</p>

<p>It’s funny because this was a side of my son I haven’t often seen. He is generally mild mannered and funny–sometimes the class clown–and used to being picked on by two older brothers and in general just letting things roll.</p>

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<p>Good for your son! We say the hamotzi in a super sing-song fashion (a little “tradition” H instituted) and I just can see someone hamming it up and stretching it out.</p>

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<p>We still like to do the “pre-school” version of HaMotzi!</p>

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<p>Another approach when asked to say Grace with Christians: before saying Hamotzi, I gently share with Christian mealmates, “This is the Hebrew prayer that Jesus likely would have used in his time and is still said by Jews worldwide today before every meal.” True and inclusive, but only if the crowd is on the serious train.
Excited football mates, maybe less so. </p>

<p>When I read challenges to Jewish military participation by number, I figure it’s a vague reference to the old canard of “dual loyalty.” How can we be loyal to both God and Nation? Which army do we support, Israel’s or our own? Etc. ad infinitum.</p>

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<p>“Ha motzi le’chem min ha’aretz… we give thanks to g-d for bread. Our voices rise in song to-ogether as our joyful prayer is said…” Is that close, boysx3?</p>

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<p>Yes, boysx3, good for your son! </p>

<p>His story shows something fundamental about those who hold antisemitic beliefs: many of the people who are most hostile toward Jews have never known a Jew, maybe never even met one.</p>

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<p>We sing the Sabbath Prayer from Fiddler on the Roof (in our shockingly bad voices) to our children on Friday nights. The lyrics are altered slightly since we have a boy and a girl and in the show, the family had only girls. It’s our own … (dropping voice) … TRADITION!!!</p>

<p>May the Lord protect and defend you.
May He always shield you from shame.
May you come to be
In Israel a shining name.</p>

<p>May you be like Ruth and like Esther.
May you be deserving of praise.
Strengthen them, Oh Lord,
And keep them from the strangers’ ways.</p>

<p>May God bless you and grant you long lives.
(May the Lord fulfill our Sabbath prayer for you.)
May God make you good mothers and wives.
(May He send you husbands who will care for you.)</p>

<p>May the Lord protect and defend you.
May the Lord preserve you from pain.
Favor them, Oh Lord, with happiness and peace.
Oh, hear our Sabbath prayer. Amen.</p>

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<p>I"ve never really understood the point of praying before sports events, whatever religion someone is. Even though I’m an Episcopalian I bristle at the kids’ sporting events when the coach gets into it. Its making a huge assumption that everyone is a “believer”. To me, prayer should be private.</p>

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<p>Not to mention that God probably doesn’t give a rat’s patootie who wins a stupid game.</p>

<p>Not to mention that half of the teams that pray before a game lose anyway.</p>

<p>Not to mention that when both teams pray, they can’t both win.</p>

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<p>I am bothered by before- and after-game prayers, too, especially since they generally take a recognizably Christian form. On the other hand, without any firsthand knowledge (no team I was on ever did that), I give them enough credit to assume that no one is petitioning the Lord for help in winning the game, or thanking Him for a victory. (Well, I guess that the winning team probably can’t help doing that.)</p>

<p>As a religious matter, I don’t necessarily think it’s inappropriate to praise God before or after any significant activity, to remind oneself that there are more important things in the universe than the Big Game, and to thank God for one’s body, one’s skills, and the opportunity to use them. And I certainly think communal prayer is appropriate. But ostentatious, public Christian prayer smacks of marketing Christianity, and depending on my mood I can resent being subjected to that.</p>

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<p>My kids go to a Catholic high school and the teams pray before each sporting event. It is done quietly and quickly in the huddle. The prayer is to help “center” them before the game and it asks God to keep both teams free from injury, and to keep them humble in victory and gracious in defeat. (though I am sure a few of the kids are silently praying for a win) :D</p>

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<p>jym,
that’s the one!</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, I love your tradition and I hope you don’t mind if we adopt it as well.
Recently we were in DC to visit S3 at school and also S1 and his wife, who live in DC as well. S1 and DIL are modern Orthodox and made a lovely Shabbat dinner. Son started the meal with Eschet Chayil (sp?) blessing his wife and I almost cried. I had not heard it since my grandfather died in 1973.</p>

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<p>As far as pre-game prayers go, my sons have never at any other time been on a team that had that tradition. Team huddles, yes…</p>

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<p>boysx3-</p>

<p>When a friend of mine’s kids were young, they had a message on their answering machine to the tune of:

"Ya’aseh shalom, nobody’s home, please leave a message after the tone ". It was very clever.</p>

<p>*** For those who dont know the tune, I found a place to hear it. Can’t link the youtube, but got to youtube and select “Ose Shalom - Angelica Primero” (a girl in Mexico singing the song/prayer) The tune that your are listening for is repeated at 0:49, 1:03-1:15 and then louder and faster at 1:42-1:51 and several more times.</p>

<p>As for prayers at events, if they are nondenominational and are generic, either for the safety and wellbeing of the players or world peace or something, that’s ok. When older s did his scouts at a nearby church, they sometimes did christian prayers befores a trip or something. He was just quiet and listened. </p>

<p>I like p3t’s suggestion of connecting the Hebrew prayer to the common history fdor Jesus, if one is comfortable with it. I think being proud of one’s faith, whatever it is, is fine. Respecting others is also important.</p>

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<p>FYI, for anyone who doesn’t recognize this piece of prayer, it’s part of the last line of the Kaddish and the line translates roughly as “may the source of peace bring peace to us and to all Israel.” This is now often sung in many synagogues, notably in many Reform ones, as a modern nod to the tradition of many instances of the Kaddish appearing in a service. It’s a cute, clever and well-meaning idea to use it for a message.</p>

<p>As for not meeting a Jew, when Shakespeare wrote Merchant of Venice, with its mechanistic view of Jewish law, England barred Jews from the country. It wasn’t until Oliver Cromwell came along in the 1650’s that Jews were allowed into England and then only if they essentially stayed in hiding. If Shakespeare met any Jews, they would likely have been Dutch merchants on a short visit.</p>