We have really good friends who are in that 1 per center (or even less) wealth group. We went to their house warming party years ago (basically a mansion in most people’s book). My son wore jeans and was very embarrassed. Everyone else was dressed up for the party.
I laughed and said “what did you expect?”
He replied “I didn’t know we KNEW anybody that could afford this!”
I cracked up. He really DIDN’T know. He grew up with them as “regular people” living in more modest homes. He knew them best at beach vacations where everyone is super casual at all times. It just never dawned on him.
I think that’s about the time I handed him “The Millionaire Next Door”. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Everyone who is rich doesn’t act like it or show it. Most of those we know came from humble backgrounds and carry that with them no matter how successful they’ve become.
I also watched a short documentary prior a movie once where they interviewed a Texas millionaire. The focus was “When do you finally feel rich? How much money does it take?” and the answer was never if you choose to chase it. The man said he felt super rich when he first made a million dollars, then 5 million dollars–until he got into circles of people who made 10 million dollars. It was a never ending spiral.
That, and perhaps realize that they have an opportunity to get off the consumption and debt rat race that so many seem to feel that they are stuck in, despite having multiples of the median amount of money. Getting off may reduce financial anxiety and hence increase happiness and financial security (and that applies to people from a much wider range of income levels).
“In other words, you are saying that only the upper capitalist class (those who own assets that are enough to retire on more than comfortably without having to be frugal in any way or needing any government or other assistance like Medicare) will “feel rich”? I.e. those in the upper labor class (those with high incomes, but dependent on their continued ability to earn income from work) will not “feel rich”.”
Yes, this is exactly how things shake down. Why else the insane love of Downton Abbey or Louis Vuitton?
So much of consumer culture is precisely designed to make the “upper labor class” feel “less than” so they will buy more goods.
@ucbalumnus I think we posted at the same time above.
I do want to reply to this, though: “That, and perhaps realize that they have an opportunity to get off the consumption and debt rat race that so many seem to feel that they are stuck in, despite having multiples of the median amount of money. Getting off may reduce financial anxiety and hence increase happiness and financial security.”
I think the grousing of the upper middle class is mostly for show. It’s a form of humble bragging. I have many acquaintances in this bracket, and I think they are actually quite secure and happy most of the time–except maybe back in '09.
"“I think that’s about the time I handed him “The Millionaire Next Door”. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Everyone who is rich doesn’t act like it or show it. Most of those we know came from humble backgrounds and carry that with them no matter how successful they’ve become.”
We talked to our kids at a fairly young age (early elementary school) that when it comes to people and money, you can’t judge a book by its cover. Yes, everyone who is rich doesn’t act like it or show it but the opposite is true as well. Plenty of people engage in conspicuous consumption but it is on borrowed money and they aren’t as rich as you’d guess.
There is a difference between knowing that you are better off then most and feeling safe and secure.
For some, “rich” means being able to afford “full pay” private universities for all of your children without blinking. For most in the 1%, that’s not true, so they feel pressured and stressed and worried about how they will afford to give their kids the futures they want. If “rich” doesn’t mean being able to send your kids to college without selling your home or mortgaging your future, what does it mean?
For some people, as others have said, it is the anxiety of losing a job or another recession. Sure they may be able to comfortably afford their expenses now, but what about another down turn? What then? What if, at the age of 40-60, they can never get another job or another similar job? “Rich” would mean never having to worry about that
For some people “rich” means Mark Zuckerberg – so much money that it isn’t a concern – ever. Enough money to endow schools and send millions away in charity. Everything else just seems like degrees of “normal.”
For some people, they feel strapped because things that are really luxeries have come to feel like necessities. Sending kids to summer camp. Ballet lessons. Sports coaching. Tutoring, Private school. Those don’t feel like extravagences because they are for the kids. Its not about flashy labels or vacations, so it must not be a luxury.
That doesn’t mean that people in the 1% don’t intellectual know they are well off, but they don’t “feel” it.
One of my daughters is marrying a young man whose parents are at least in the 1% (if not higher, I’m not sure). They are the kindest, most unassuming, most generous people. they look a little frumpy, so one would never think that they have what they have. The father recently built my D and fiancé a fabulous deck with his own two hands. He carted around the wood in his beat up pick-up truck. He also gave his daughter a very nice home in a beautiful area and is in the process of doing the same for son and my D. Both kids have large trust funds. A young relative of mine is battling cancer and these people overheard a conversation about the financial implications. They quietly made a very generous donation to the parents. Just amazing people. But they know they are rich. Other people don’t, but they surely do. I don’t think anyone could be as generous as they are without knowing how much they have to give away.
I’m not in the 1% but most of the time, I acknowledge and feel my privilege. Income is about $60,000. I own my home. I have no debt. I have retirement funds and savings. Still, there are times when I don’t feel rich, like when I look at my siblings; one has a working spouse, one has a pension, and one has much more substantial retirement assets. On the other hand, my best friend is unemployed, has only a few thousand dollars’ worth of assets, and has to sell her house very soon. Perspective is almost everything.
" If “rich” doesn’t mean being able to send your kids to college without selling your home or mortgaging your future, what does it mean?"
Not everyone is sending kids to college so never have that problem. But having money in those circumstances is having viable options which is great.
"For some people “rich” means Mark Zuckerberg – so much money that it isn’t a concern – ever. "
And yet, I’d hate to be Mark Zuckerberg. Thank goodness I’m not him. He’s got his own set of problems.
“For some people, they feel strapped because things that are really luxeries have come to feel like necessities.”
We have friends from Brazil where there is free healthcare, free education, lots of government free stuff. Would they give it up? No. Despite the outrageous taxes. It’s been presented as “free”. And they feel entitled to it. But they come to the states to buy baby clothes because it’s unaffordable there.
I have many relatives in the top 5%, but am not sure about top 1%. Many grouse about bills and live rather simply rather than always acquiring the latest and greatest.
Like the millionaire next door, you’d never know just looking at them how hefty their assets are. They do live in attractive homes in nice neighborhoods but mostly aren’t into showing off.
I think there is also a difference between feeling rich and feeling grateful. Many people I know who are objectively well off would not classify themselves as rich for all the reasons discussed above. But they are definately grateful for what they have and definately understand how much more they have then so many others. On the other hand, I know several very rich folks who definately do not realize how grateful they should be.
@austinmshauri I agree that if you make more than 99% you are wealthy. But I don’t think about it all the time, and usually don’t feel rich. (Although I hate people who “cry poor”)
As I said, I’ve been in far less income groups, and appreciate the options and freedom money provides, but it does not necessarily make you smarter, happier, prettier, etc.
Compare money to families/kids desperate to go to Ivy League schools. Yes, it is prestigious and gives you a sense of accomplishment, but it does not guarantee anyone a lifetime of success and happiness.
I think it also depends on how recently they have reached the level of net income and net worth and how stable a situation they perceive it to be as to whether they FEEL “wealthy.”
For example, lots of the folks in Silicon Valley earn high salaries but are concerned about when their job will end or the start up will fold, plus very high expenses.
If for many, many years folks have had close to median level income and it is suddenly increased for whatever reason, it can feel more like an anomoly than the new normal.
Many Americans equate rich with ability, tho for most of the 0.01%ers, their rich/wealth come down through blood lines. Many 1%ers who accumulate their wealth through hard work/income are very different from those who gain through inheritance. The former “serve” the latter in roles of lawyers, doctors, accountants, wealth management, etc.
Although, on these forums, it is often complaining from the self described “donut holes” about not being able to afford their kids’ college while assuming that those in lower incomes will find widespread good financial aid wherever they look .
Isn’t it a progression? At any given level, you always become aware of and want the next level up … and if you do go back and look at what you had/where you lived a long time ago you think, why did we think we were so hot back then?.
