<p>I think a big part of it is that absolutely nobody cares where (or even if) you graduated high school, once you’re in college. Employers, grad schools, whatever - they don’t ask for your Andover transcripts. I’d laugh at a college graduate who listed a boarding school on his/her resume.</p>
<p>Among those of us who can afford private high schools and have the option of sending our kids to one, we choose not to. Often our local public high schools are excellent, offering a greater variety of activities, diversity of students, and variety of classes. We don’t want our kids to be surrounded by students who take wealth as the norm and feel entitled to it. We feel really sorry for kids whose parents believe they are failures if they don’t get into a ‘brand name’ school or end up in a job that has sufficient prestige because that’s the social group they are comparing themselves to. And we have heard all the horror stories about paying through the nose only to find that the teachers aren’t better and the administration’s attitude is that your kid is lucky to be here.</p>
<p>So no, we don’t consider ‘elite’ high schools to be much of a draw.</p>
<p>A lot of private high schools aren’t elite, anyway. They’re just private (for example, our local Catholic schools). Great for those who want that, but hardly anything to envy.</p>
<p>M’sMom- I really disagree with your post (#22). Where my kids grew up the kids at the supposed top public high schools were at least as affluent and snobby as the kids at the private schools. Wealth was definitely taken as the norm at the top public schools. The actual city public schools (as opposed to suburban) were extremely bad and private school was the preferred option. The private schools were excellent, (yes) expensive and varied in focus. Some were church-affiliated, some attracted a more “artsy” kid and some were known for extremely rigorous academics/athletics. </p>
<p>From your post it is clear you really don’t understand the advantages of private high schools or boarding schools. I understand that many people have strong public school options and that those schools work well for their kids. That is not true for everyone. My kids wound up going from elite private schools to boarding school- for entirely different reasons for each of my kids. My daughter (now 26) regards her 2 years at her arts boarding academy as truly life changing and the foundation for her artistic and personal development. My son- well, you had to be around years ago for my threads- but I think I can say the educational path he required also changed the course of his life.</p>
<p>I also want to add that both boarding schools were more diverse- in every way, including the affluence of the families- than anything in our local community.</p>
<p>Don’t be so quick to judge and categorize.</p>
<p>Just like the culture of worshiping elite colleges – people who care about that sort of thing care, and people who don’t, don’t. It’s as simple as that.</p>
<p>My city has several excellent elite high schools that do offer better educations than my suburban public hs. However, quite frankly, I wasn’t interested in the logistics of spending an hour each way getting my kids there and back, and the requisite socializing I’d have to do to fit in with the crowd. My SIL, an at home mother, made that choice because she wanted the social cachet and prestige. Good for her! Just not my thing.</p>
<p>I don’t think there is great “elite” worship. There is “family tradition” and we’ve seen that within our group of friends who sent their children where they had gone and in some cases where the children’s grandparents had attended. We also have a friends whose children also left for boarding school because of artistic paths. There is also the need for a solid/great high school academic need. We have friends who “chose” to live in particular house or a particular neighborhhod and wanted to stay. As their children grew they chose to send them away rather than move their physical home or to attempt to get their kids into neighboring school districts and deal with the transportation logisitcs. Elite envy - I don’t know…I’m sure there are aspirational families in this country but with our friends it was not really aspirational as much as practical or emotional.</p>
<p>Adding to what Yakyu Spirits already correctly stated about the “worship” of CPS selective high schools, there is a site remarkably similar to CC devoted to discussion of gaining admission to selective enrollment and magnet Chicago PUBLIC pre-K, elementary and high schools. There’s an entire thread devoted to people talking about waiting for the acceptance/rejection letters to arrive. So, yes, I think that “worship” is out there.</p>
<p>I was hoping the thread wouldn’t go in this direction. I guess I didn’t explain myself well in the first post, for which I apologize. Yes colleges are more important for one’s career’s sake. But part of the elite college culture is that parents and students worship college as more than a job seeking tool and rather as near spiritual experience or coming-of-age that is invaluable and indeed priceless. Hence the concept of the “dream school.” Families that wouldn’t think to go beyond the public school system for high school are suddenly delighted to pay $200k for the elite college experience – the implication being that college is unique, important, separate from all the other levels of education. This is coming from a suburban perspective. I grew up in a suburb with an okay public school system. There was lots of prestige grubbing for colleges, however, and not entirely for the career advantages. I understand other people’s experiences are different. Yet even for those urban moms worried about elite kindergartens, if I’m reading the situation correctly the worry is over getting into the right elementary school as the straight and narrow path to an elite college, with that being the ultimate prize. But tell me if I’m wrong.</p>
<p>There are certainly those that pusue “elite” privates for the prestige,social standing, family history or because they mistakenly believe it is some free pass to an ivy. Just like there are those who are only looking for HYPS because of the status. There are also those, and I would suggest the majority, who apply to HYPS because they are amazing places to go to college. In the same way the vast majority of families that choose a particular private school choose it because they genuinely believe that it is the best educational and developmental match for their child. My DDs private has astounding facilities, a large variety of sports and ECs which are supported by fans from the entire school, superb committed teachers, and a student body that values academic and artistic achievement. It is a place where it is cool to be smart and accomplished. Many of the alums from my DDs school cite their years there as transformational, and unlike my PS experience they remain close to their HS friends and teachers. Is it perfect - absolutely not. Is it the only way to get a good HS education - absolutely not. Are there some spoiled children - certainly. But no place is perfect, and it offerred my DDs a tremendous experience. That is why there is a segment of the population that “worships” elite prep schools - in particular boarding schools.</p>
<p>Clearly from this thread there are the cynical and prejudiced want to believe it is all hype, and that the schools are just a silly waste of money that feed the parent’s egos. I find that ignorant, sad and insulting. We all make decisions about what is best for our children, in our particular circumstances. It is completely rude and innappropriate to assume motives, and completely wrong to say that most of these schools are not amazing institutions.</p>
<p>“Families that wouldn’t think to go beyond the public school system for high school are suddenly delighted to pay $200k for the elite college experience – the implication being that college is unique, important, separate from all the other levels of education”</p>
<p>Yep, that’s pretty how much how I feel. (for me and mine, and I’m in a good suburban school district). I don’t think hs is an “experience” and I do think college is unique, important and separate. and?</p>
<p>If you live in a major city, there is often that push. But most families look at school districts when they buy homes and that is an intrinsic part of the master plan. However, when it comes to college, it has become a rite of passage to “go away” to college. With financial aid, many families in the last generation were able to go to private schools, away to school and have other options that would not have otherwise be possible. Enough folks got that option that it became the brass ring to grab upon graduation in many middle class areas. What people don’t get is that, still, most people get their college degree locally, part time and over more than 4 years. Their eyes are fixated on that 4 year boarding college prize.</p>
<p>Most families looking at their pre-teens (the age at which one would normally apply to an elite HS) place greater weight on the influence of home environment versus that of school and peers. At this age, most parents are focused on teaching good values at home.</p>
<p>By late adolescence that has turned around, and peers and the school environment become the predominating influence. Thus the impulse to get one’s kid into “the best” college where s/he will thrive.</p>