Why must this process be so soulcrushing?

Look carefully at your program - whether it’s pre B.Arch or an AAS that qualifies you to be an architect’s assistant.
Also, most colleges that offer excellent FA don’t actually have a B.Arch, though they may have something like an Architecture studies minor. You could always go with the path of any major+design/art minor → Masters degree.
You have to consider all this to set yourself up the best way you can wrt your goals.
How are your grades so far? Are you getting a 4.0 or close (3.75, 3.8+)?
What classes are you taking?
Ideally you’d be taking English/Composition, a visual art or design class, calculus1, the intermediate level of a foreign language and either a social science or a science for non majors (perhaps Art History or related?)

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