I’m not surprised this conversation has so many comments. It is such a tricky issue with no easy answers. I’m glad that your son is doing well now and there is no way to know how things would have changed with different decisions. I live in NY and the cutoff for starting kindergarten is in December. Both of my kids started when they were 4 and have late fall birthdays. We were advised to “red-shirt” my daughter because she was small and shy but she thrived in the academic environment of school and has had no social problems. My son was big and social so we were told by his preschool teachers to start him in kindergarten at 4. Both were early readers and academically ready. I did a lot of research and talked to a lot of teachers before making the decisions. I had skipped a grade so I knew what it was like to be the youngest in class. My son is currently a 9th grader and I’m still wishing we had redshirted him for social/emotional reasons; he is always playing catch up developmentally and he is frequently the target of teasing even though he is still big for his age and academically successful. He would really like to take on more of a leadership role but in the status conscious world of boys, it is very difficult for him to do so especially in a small district where the kids have all known each other since kindergarten and labels tend to stick. He is one of the only boys in his grade with a fall birthday who started on time so he is frequently a full year younger than his peers. I have rarely heard of parents who are regretful that they held their child back but this type of story seems far more common. I do hope he has become stronger as a result but it’s been difficult to see him struggle. My situation may be more common because we have such a late cutoff in New York but based on my personal experience, I would recommend redshirting especially for boys.
Okay, I work in public elementary school, so I’ve seen a lot of Kindergarten kids!
The whole issue is maturity! Some kids are ready for Kindergarten, some are not. And if a child is barely making the age cutoff, it can make total sense to give them another year to grow up.
So it’s not about college, it’s about a young child who might not be developmentally ready for the rigors of Kindergarten (which has gotten way too “rigorous”, don’t get me started).
@MassDaD68 Just out of curiosity, why didn’t you take a year off after high school if you felt like starting college at 18 would have been better than starting at 17? And if you didn’t like where you were going to college, why you didn’t go to community college first and then get the grades to transfer to a college that you liked. You could have even spent 3 years at a community college and that was when you transferred, you would have been on the older half and not have been the last to drink. There was no reason a decision your parents made for you when you were 4 had to follow you into your adulthood.
@twoinanddone I think what additionvector meant is that you can’t just assume your child is going to have a straight path(“straight path” meaning they go to college right out of high school and graduate in 4 years). A lot of people have crooked paths. They may not want to go to college. They may go to community college first and take longer than 2 years to transfer. They may start college and realize after a year or 2 that college isn’t for them. You just don’t know.