There are many elite (in terms of qualifications) students who are denied by elite colleges, and there are many elite students who would have been admitted, had they applied to elite colleges. But generally speaking, the elite colleges are harder to get into because they are more sought after commodities.
I also mulled over the question of our kid’s attending an elite college and paying $300k over 4 years vs. going to a fine Honors College for nearly free, and giving $300k plus additional gains to our kid upon graduation. Either choice would have been fine. It was our kid’s decision, ultimately. I kind of leaned towards going to Honors College, while my wife was adamant that our kid should be given an opportunity to attend the elite college. Ironically, I am less inclined to put elite schools upon pedestal because I myself went to one, whereas my wife went to a public college. But happy wife, happy life, right? Lol
If you are talking about just learning only, you can teach yourself pretty much anything. I dare say I could have taught myself every academic knowledge I gained in college if I studied on my own intensively for two years, but that probably would not have gotten me to where I am now. I guess it’s more about the entire experience, financial means and fit, I guess.
To me, it’s very important that the college you go to be very good across all departments, especially since our kid didn’t have a definite major. On that front, it was no contest between the two colleges in terms of depth and variety of courses.