I found your post amusing. You do have a great sense of humor.
The fuzzy logic is charming.
First, you say:
“Hopefully, this post will be some consolation, because I can at least explain why you didn’t get in.”
Then you follow that up with:
“What you should have done no one can tell you definitively.”
Are you the exception to “no one”?
Or did you mean to say that your explanation could be considered both definitive and inconclusive at the same time? And, if that is the case, what would be the value of your post, if you are only providing a non-answer answer?
Are you telling me something or are you not? 
The equivocation is something else. Seems like an Ivy League education, even just one year into it, ought to beat some of that equivocation out of one’s bright mind. Or perhaps it ought not to? Who can tell? Wouldn’t want to be dogmatic about it, of course. Better to leave all options open.
I do love one of your final lines, though:
“But one thing’s for sure. You should not have done what you did.”
Really.
That’s it?
If nothing else matters, as you claim, then perhaps next year’s applicants ought to just follow Popeye’s lead:
“I yam what I yam an’ that’s all that I yam!”