Look, man. The brilliant title you chose for this thread is “Why you didn’t get into Harvard”. I, like many other non-boring people and non-drones around here, did not get into Harvard, therefore I assumed your advice might apply to me as well, so I decided to read your thread. Instead of this bombastic and conceited title, you should’ve chosen a more accurate one, like: “Why drones did not get into Harvard”. In that case, I wouldn’t have bothered to click on it, because I know why drones did not get into Harvard(moreover, I believe they know too). Is reiterating the obvious a skill of yours that you’re proud of?
A few more points:
“The problem I was addressing was exactly that people put too much of their self worth into top college decisions”
vs
“What you should have done, pitiable pupil, is make yourself an interesting person”
“your overwhelming mediocrity shines through”
Oh, really?
People who do all these things(care a lot for SAT’s and grades, lots of APs, EC’s done only to impress etc.) but get into Harvard are still pitiable and overwhelmingly mediocre? 
I know personally two guys who got into HYP this year(one Harvard, one Princeton). BOTH have admitted that they have done some (most, in one case) of their EC’s only to impress Ivies. The truth is: unless you’re some sort of Terence Tao, you also did it, and don’t deny it.
If there’s something pitiable here, it’s the amount of hypocrisy/self-deceit in your post.
“It’s completely true that top school admissions is a lottery”
I, for one, never claimed that(you might have misinterpreted my “only get a glance” thing). I believe the opposite, and I’ll explain later if you’re interested.
“Ouch. Thankfully for me I know myself well enough to know that I don’t actually have an inferiority complex. I probably have a bit of a superiority complex though.”
Maybe you’re right. Just to be 100% sure, google “compensatory narcissistic”. 