<p>My name is not on our house which is a major asset.
It was originally, but when the time was right to refinance, I was cleaning up some identity theft crap that had really messed me up. So H just applied on his own.
We also have some accounts through his work that are in his name, but I am the beneficiary.
We live in a community property state and I do not feel it is necessary to have everything divided evenly onpaper.</p>
<p>He’s got depression
His treatment is not going well
You don’t know if you can trust what he says about his meeting with his attorney
You don’t know how his wife puts up with </p>
<p>I guess whether or not her motives are altruistic (saving h from himself or saving a lifestyle for the benefit of the children) or selfish is immaterial. I think she is trying to protect herself, and yes, that may very well include preparing for a divorce.</p>
<p>If she does turn around and divorce him and was doing this to get more than her “fair” share perhaps he can use the fact he was under treatment and depressed to void the signing of the document.</p>
<p>If you can’t imagine living with him. I have to wonder what it’s like for the kids.</p>
<p>Dstark…would you share why you told him not to sign?</p>
<p>The lawyer told him not to sign. I think the marriage is in trouble. Probably wont be a divorce for years because of the kids. I don’t see the upside for him. </p>
<p>He has anxiety issues too. The w is doing this to protect herself. Divorce? We will see. Well I will. Lol</p>
<p>I could not live with her
either. Both of them are control freaks. I did not know a marriage could survive with two control freaks. I think it has worked because they try to control different things. The money was his turf, but now…</p>
<p>The man I dated for a few years before I met H suffered from severe depression. For a long time it was under control with meds until he decided they left him feeling “flat” not an uncommon complaint, I understand. So, off his meds, he decided to sell everything he owned at a loss and move to Hawaii, telling me literally as he was packing up. </p>
<p>Whether or not the woman in the OP is planning a divorce, it seems the H has already mentioned selling the house-and who knows what else? With “many” children, maybe it;s less to protect her lifestyle than making sure she and the many kids have somewhere to live! If everything is in his name, she could indeed walk in the door someday to find herself and the kids homeless, as mentioned above.</p>
<p>I worked with him for 5 years… Known him for 20.
The last year… The anxiety he has is off the charts. I talked to him today. He couldn’t find a piece of paper. His anxiety is engulfing. Is that a word?
I said I have to go…
The w is having a bad time. The kids are doing great.</p>
<p>Perhaps he should take up running.</p>
<p>I think the house is in a trust so wouldn’t you need both signatures?</p>
<p>Exercise is a mood elevator. Your friend and his wife can work on any issues they may have, but as a friend maybe you can help him find ways to take care of his health and start getting involved in doing things that will have him feeling better.</p>
<p>Hmmm not a lawyer here, but of the house is in a trust…doesn’t the trust own the house? It can’t be sold without adhering to the provisions of the trust regarding sales. </p>
<p>Usually a house is the single largest asset folks have exclusive of retirement accounts.</p>
<p>If it were me and I was this wife, I would want to be sure DH has NOT changed the beneficiaries on retirement or insurance accounts.</p>
<p>Deborah T, you are right. Many years ago, I did suffer from depression for a year. I got out of it by exercise and walking. I feel great now and I don’t want depression again. </p>
<p>I can only do so much. It is up to him. I have tried many things.</p>
<p>Because you need both signatures to sell a house… Why does she need the house in her name only? He can’t sell the house without her signature.</p>
<p>Just an FYI - anxiety and depression could be triggered by different things and maybe even treated by different meds.</p>
<p>[NIMH</a> · Depression](<a href=“http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/complete-index.shtml]NIMH”>http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/complete-index.shtml)</p>
<p>Again, not a doctror here, just a person who had some experience with people suffering from anxiety.</p>
<p>The h is under great care.</p>
<p>BunsenBurner, as you know, anxiety is a tough issue.</p>
<p>I am not getting it… but then I didn’t read the whole thread. I was out all morning increasing my own anxiety levels. Wife dragged me to our neighbor’s tile shop to talk bathroom renovation (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)</p>
<p>Almost everything we have is in both our names - the house, bank accounts, brokerage accounts. The only things in my name is 1 small trading account (which seems to get smaller every month) and my toy car which is not super valuable but I probably should have titled it in both our names… I just didn’t. </p>
<p>It does make me sad to hear of a guy with plenty of money who stopped working (presumably to enjoy life) and is all stressed out.</p>
<p>
It would really slow him down if he was going to do something. This way, he can’t tap into equity or borrow against the house if his name is not on it.</p>
<p>I actually know someone whose husband borrowed massive amounts of money to finance a gambling habit by way of (I think) a second mortgage because the house was so close to paid off. </p>
<p>I don’t know this woman, of course, but if I had minor kids and a husband with depression whose treatment wasn’t working, I would make sure there were no weapons in the house and I would make sure he couldn’t do irrevocable harm to the family in any way, and if that meant looking like a witch, then fine. THe most the wife might be able to hope for is that she could slow him down long enough to catch him if the husband was planning something.</p>
<p>NJres, yeah. It’s a shame.</p>
<p>Zoosermom, it may be just what you said. Protection time…</p>
<p>If he is depressed then anything he signs at this point should be null and void as he is not in his right mind. This is the direction I would take it if he does sign.</p>