You seem to forget that virtually every one of these schools accepts public funding, and claims an educational institutional tax exemption. You also seem to have forgotten that the origin of “holistic” admissions was a 1920’s antisemitic redesign of the admissions process made specifically in order to exclude Jews (not to mention the centuries history of excluding Blacks).
That is what’s unfair. We’re not talking about invitations to a private party. We’re talking about powerful gatekeeper institutions that accept taxpayer funding, in one way or another, and yet are applying biased admissions criteria designed to favor certain groups over other groups.