So we have a society that sees kids as a “problem” to be figured out? Here’s an idea - don’t have kids. If greed is your motivating factor, kids cost beaucoup bucks. Save money by not having any and gain time to work 60-80 hours at your high-paying career.
Really? Maybe not encouraged, I suppose, as that implies telling someone who doesn’t want to go that direction that they should, but plenty of lasses (and lads) where I work still want to head into teaching and do so every year. We’ve even had some of my former students come back and work at my school.
Those who don’t feel “called” to teaching usually shouldn’t be there. It’s not a job “anyone” can do just because they go to school for the degree. A certain amount of talent is needed - teaching talent, class management talent, etc. Some things really can’t be “taught.”
Thankfully, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I certainly don’t understand how little girls are being pushed into being men. Maybe because I don’t understand what you mean by that? Do you really think only girls are being pushed into careers they don’t necessarily want? The country is full of people who would probably rather do something else if they didn’t need to consider the fact that little elves aren’t paying for food, shelter, clothing, higher education, retirement, and the like. And do you really think that some things are “for “ men while other things are “for “ women?
@Creekland , I think we’re on the same side here. I marvel at what my kids’s teachers are able to do, and recognize that there is no way I could do it. Tremendous talent and dedication.
Perhaps I misspoke when I said girls are not encouraged to go into teaching. They are being discouraged and/or encouraged to ignore their “calling” to teach because they are particularly good and math and science, and will be able to reduce the gender gap in STEM. A purely political motive.
In some societies (other than the US), children are seen as a social good, an investment in the next generation who will become our doctors, firefighters, soldiers, etc, and thus provide both the public services and the tax base that will sustain us in our old age, therefore worthy of public investment.
Why aren’t you concerned about boys being pushed into stem, @OhiBro when maybe they would like to be stay at home parents instead? Or become teachers? Or maybe it is just that lots of people of both genders are pursuing stem right now because it seems to offer some economic stability in uncertain times
@roycroftmom , if there are boys being pushed unwillingly into STEM, or that want to be stay-at-home fathers, I agree that is a problem. But you and I both know that would be the exception and not the rule.
There are gender gaps in preferences. It’s that simple. No amount of social engineering will overpower laws of nature and evolution.
The true measure of success should not be money. It should be how your kids turned out.
This may be happening elsewhere, but I don’t see it in my school. I see gals (such as myself) who are naturally good at math/science heading that direction and loving it - same as some guys. There are even a handful who enjoy the shop classes and continue on in that direction.
It’s nice seeing kids who know they can go out there and do what they like and are good at rather than pushing them into things they don’t care for. Still, most figure out they also need to be able to pay the bills, so look carefully at what jobs are out there while considering what they like. Whether or not they can afford college (or trade school) can also factor into the picture of what they can do. I don’t know many who would go into very high debt except for a medical degree (as my own lad is doing).
We’re in a semi-rural area, so probably don’t get the “greed” pressure some areas get. Most parents I know share the job of parenting.
The economic downturn still hit several folks though. H is one of the few engineers who survived it in our area and he did it by expanding his area of service worldwide. With the economy better, he’s back to solely working locally again as there’s more than enough work here to keep him busy. I worked more when the downturn hit too.
In the US, at this time, there are gender gaps in preferences. Not true in many other cultures, nor at other times in our US history, so it makes one wonder what has changed or what we are doing wrong now as a society, doesn’t it? The computer field used to be dominated by women.
@kelsmom , I know that women are being pushed into careers that they don’t want. I see it all the time.
I don’t believe that some things are “for” women and other things are “for” men. But I do believe in allowing gender preferences to work themselves out. Some people view the skew in engineering toward males as a slight on females, not recognizing that many females don’t want to be engineers because the work can often be soulless.
I see an increasing number of young families in which both parents downsize their careers after they have children. In some of these instances, the father does it more than the mother.
For example, in one family, the father became a stay-at-home parent for the first two years after their only child was born. Later, he got a full-time job and the parents put the child in day care. At that time, the mother arranged for decreased work hours to allow her more time for family responsibilities.
In another family I know, both parents have jobs that allow flexible work schedules – with some days in the office and others at home. Their jobs also allow flexibility in terms of the times of day when you work. Every day, one parent starts work extremely early and is finished by school pickup time. Both parents could earn more in other jobs, but the current arrangement works well for them.
Even young people who don’t have children (or don’t have them yet) don’t necessarily aspire to the kind of all-consuming careers that pretty much require a stay-at-home spouse or paid help at home. My own son and daughter and their partners are like this. All four of them have good jobs, and both couples have a nice standard of living, but they don’t have extremely high-powered careers and they don’t want them. They wouldn’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to get there.
It’s not about forcing girls to grow up into men. For some young people, it’s about both boys and girls growing up into people who expect (and in many cases, want) to balance work with other things in life, even though this almost certainly means not reaching the extreme heights of career success.
“What was new to me was the regret for incurring debt to do a law degree.”
This has been a huge issue on the law school side since at least the ‘80s. A lot of people ruin their futures by going to law school. Maybe the majority of law school attendees, in fact.
I think it’s human nature to second guess your decisions. Went to law school, regret taking loans. No law school, regret that you didn’t take that path.
My husband is a workaholic and has a hard time taking vacation. Both of my children are working in the same profession but both are choosing a better work/life balance. Maybe we are evolving 
@OhiBro You and I live in different areas apparently. If anyone gets pushed into careers they really don’t want, it’s often the lads. While there are gender gaps in preferences, some incorrectly assume all guys love STEM - esp if they’re good at it.
I’m not seeing many of either gender wanting to be stay at home parents anymore - maybe for a few years when kids are young - but not overall. Most really prefer having a “life” outside the home, whether part time (as I choose) or full time. Their kids still grow up to be fine human beings.
I know I tried the stay at home life when my kids were young, but I felt really stifled and stressed. My whole family loved it when I found a job I enjoyed - much less tense at home! Some males/females are cut out to solely do child rearing or home making and there’s certainly nothing wrong with it, but most (in my experience) prefer a greater variety in their lives. The extra income is a plus too.
"I think it’s human nature to second guess your decisions. Went to law school, regret taking loans. No law school, regret that you didn’t take that path.
@deb922, from what I have observed, that’s much less true of other (top) grad degrees. I’ve heard few MBA-holders who took out loans saying that they regret doing so.
Anyway, sure, someone taking a “greedy” job could forgo kids. For a society, that is not ideal (unless you are comfortable with constant perpetual immigration from abroad).
Personally, I find many in this next generation wanting to shun the rat race. I think that’s admirable! It may be just in my area I suppose. Kids want a job they enjoy, but not working to death. They want to have time to enjoy kids and other things too.
Both women and men get pushed into careers they do not like, either because of social/parental pressure (e.g. those threads where there is parent/kid conflict because the parent wants to choose the kid’s college major), or because they are unable to get into careers that they do like (e.g. think of all of the college frosh pre-meds who get weeded out and have no chance of becoming physicians, so they have to come up with something else), or because of money considerations (e.g. think of the physicians with $300,000 of medical school debt whose career choices are forced to be money focused, even if s/he would otherwise prefer to do a lower paid specialty).