<p>Okay, maybe I should rephrase that. Besides the fact that I don’t think the kids get enough attention in the family that size, what about the parents not being able to participate in each child’s life as much as I would want to? I had trouble enough attending every soccer, football, baseball, track and wrestling meet my boys participated in. I can’t imagine making that many parent teacher conferences and open houses. I would have hated not being able to help in their class or work at the book fair. That’s just me being selfish. I would hate to miss any one of those events.</p>
<p>Boysmom, the children are home-schooled.</p>
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<p>The sad thing is that through my child’s k-12 life I could rattle off a long list of parents of 1 to 2 children who also had live in help (some while they were stay at home moms) who did none of those things. It doesn’t make them right or wrong just doing what is best for them.</p>
<p>I consider my self lucky because my mom never missed a parent teacher conference, school play, class trip, bake sale, or sporting event (I guess you already have a built in cheering squad). </p>
<p>Having a smaller number of kids doesn’t necessarily mean that you are spending more time with them just as having a large family does not necessarily mean that your family is not getting your time.</p>
<p>There are many who feel lucky to have one or two kids because it is easier to put them off on someone else, which would not be an easy task with 5 or more kids.</p>
<p>i am sorry, but to home school all those kids is ridiculous, there is no way each kid is getting what they need, you have 1st graders through seniors in HS- </p>
<p>It likes a one room school house</p>
<p>It will be interesting when these kids get into the world</p>
<p>I think it is selfish to have so many kids. It like she is a breeder, and she can seem all happy but inside, I wonder.</p>
<p>I read their schedule- the children don;t seem to leave the house- no mention of outside activities, except piano.</p>
<p>Do these kids go to museums, plays, or other worldly things</p>
<p>All day in the home, i just can’t imagine</p>
<p>Citygirlsmom, they have a “Christian education.” lol</p>
<p>Mom of 7, and homeschooler here. (This family actually lives quite close to me, though I don’t know them personally–my thought was “I guess she doesn’t breastfeed.”) H and I are both from families of 7 kids, and we enjoyed it enough to have a large family ourselves. (I always thought small families were so quiet and boring!) My older kids do help, but they don’t raise the younger ones. They’ve learned to be patient and unselfish. Although we haven’t been able to focus on each child individually as much as we’d like, and each one hasn’t been able to participate in multiple activities due to limited taxi service, I think the kids have more fun with their siblings than they would with all the extra activities. We often call our kids the wrong names–not because we have too many–we’re just old and sleep-deprived. We always have a lot of laughs with a baby and toddler in the house. My 11 year old son said today “I bet you $10 you’ll have another baby!” Yikes! ($10, is that all?) I’ll probably be on CC for the next 20 years. . .</p>
<p>Excuse me for bragging on my oldest son–He made NMSF, so I guess homeschooling didn’t hurt him too much. Is homeschooling a “one room schoolhouse,” or a “whole world schoolhouse?”</p>
<p>atomom wrote:
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<p>Actually, she wrote on the family’s website words to the effect that she’d been “either pregnant or nursing” continuously for the last 17 years!</p>
<p>18 people living in a 2,400 square foot house with two bathrooms seems like more than I can imagine coping with. </p>
<p>My grandmother was one of 15 children (13 survived to adulthood), but they lived on a farm. I don’t know that their farmhouse was any bigger than this family’s house, but at least I’m pretty sure they had more outhouse seats than this family has bathrooms!</p>
<p>I just don’t see how you can make 2 bathrooms work for 18 people, on a tightly regimented schedule that allows little time for getting dressed and personal hygiene. What happens when mom has morning sickness or the whole family gets the stomach flu?</p>
<p>I imagine the whole family must be very eager for dad and the teenagers to finish building that new 7,000-foot square house with the 10 bathrooms!</p>
<p>At least we don’t have to worry about the future of the social security system!</p>
<p>I just saw an interview of the Duggar family on a morning show. The eldest son explained that their family uses the “buddy system”. The older children, he said, are each assigned to and responsible for one of the younger children. These responsibilities include brushing teeth, fixing food, helping with schooling and musical instrument lessons. He said it was parent-like, and prepared the older children for their future roles as parents. </p>
<p>Whew! I was starting to feel inadequate that there is often disorder in my home with only two children. I’m glad to know that Michelle Duggar has alot of help!</p>
<p>How would you have time to homeschool, take care of the baby (ies), do the wash, the dishes and the shopping? The kids obviously pick up a lot of chores. </p>
<p>I would feel better if the kids were in school. . .</p>
<p>You know, this would not be my path (two were perfect for me) but in the absence of evidence, i think it’s presumptious of any of us to assume that their life is not working, their kids are neglected, or their educations are inadequate. I didn’t homeschool, but i respect those who do.</p>
<p>What about kids who spend most of their waking hours in daycare settings, where the ratio may be 10:1 or so for 4 year olds? Or kids in a classroom of 30 or more, who obviously have different learning abilities and styles? Just because most of us choose to have fewer children doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with those who choose a different path. I also saw this family on CNN and they seem to be wholesome and well behaved. I know families where both parents work long hours outside the home and the kids are home alone for hours at a stretch – they may have more financial resources but I’m not sure that they are happier. I just don’t see how that strategy is superior to this woman’s approach. I really just look at results – if someone can raise happy, healthy, responsible children, I don’t care how they do it. It’s also been my experience (as the mother of 2 wonderful, but probably over-nurtured kids) that people from large families are often less selfish and can be better team players. And I wish I had been better about assigning chores! Just some thoughts…</p>
<p>Considering the amount of time that is wasted waiting in schools, the time spent on assemblies, going to and from class, etc, I can imagine for a homeschooler- there could be much more learning going on, especially in a group where older students can reinforce what they are learning by tutoring younger ones, and younger ones are challenged by what the older students are into.</p>
<p>Do they drive a school bus? Or I guess they don’t ever go anywhere together. I just don’t get it. An old neighbor of mine had 7 kids and she home schooled them. They never left the house and they had no social skills at all. I always felt sorry for them. What ever happened to Zero Population Growth. What if everyone had that many children? We will have to start inhabiting another planet for space!</p>
<p>Actually, they do drive a small school bus. The Duggers homeschool for religious reasons; the kind of education they want for their children isn’t found in school. You’d be surprised how little time homeschooling takes–especially for bright kids who’d have to spend a lot of time “waiting around” at school. There are children from all backgrounds with “poor social skills.” Yes, some homeschoolers are weird, but most that I know make an effort to get their kids involved in sports, music, art, volunteer work, and other group activities outside the home. Transportation can sometimes be a problem, though.
RE: ZPG–The U.S. population growth rate would be UNDER replacement level now if not for Mexican immigrants and their larger families. European populations are shrinking. There are so many childless women in our country that a few extra large families don’t really make up for all the children that the childless aren’t having. Don’t worry. Most people are not at all willing to have 7 (or 16 children). RE: Social Security–I’ve got mine!</p>
<p>Wow… no one is judgmental about other people’s family planning…</p>
<p>Let me get this straight: if you don’t have kids, you are completely selfish and missing out on a great experience. If you have one kid, you are selfish and depriving that child of siblings. If you have more than a few, you’re selfish because you can’t give the kids enough attention.</p>
<p>Hello, ladies, and welcome to the 21st century. Women are not all alike - it is that inconceivable that women can be happy with choices that are different from yours? Why the relentless focus on perfect mothering and defining other women by their parenting, as if these are not intelligent, thinking, sentient persons?</p>
<p>Why bother with feminism if y’all are going to slam other women like this?</p>
<p>Why bother with feminism if y’all are going to slam other women like this?</p>
<p>Its the same old story I am afraid and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with feminism.
Some people need others to validate their own choices by making similar choices-I realize it is more complicated than that- I think the human race may be contibuting to its own extinction ironically by the increase in population beyond what our resources can support- but if somone can make a reasoned argument to support their lifestyle- then hey- more power to 'em.</p>
<p>* now my sister and others like her- who have large families because their religion dictates it- or out of sheer lack of inability to get their birth control refilled- I have a problem with- many families do not have the social-emotional- financial reserves to raise many children-the children didn’t ask to be born- but they are the ones who suffer*</p>
<p>This is a true story: when I practiced law in California, I had a client whose first name was “Enough.” When I asked him how he got his name, he said, “I was the 14th child in my family, and when I was born, my mother said, ‘That’s Enough.’”</p>