<p>" I haven’t looked up the racial mix, but it is majority white by a large margin. That doesn’t seem qualitatively different to me</p>
<p>I dunno. I can see the sororities doing the exact same thing to the fraternities.</p>
<p>Definitely different doing something quietly and non-threatening (though annoying) vs harassing someone to their face, making them feel threatened. At least in my opinion.</p>
<p>Then it is also harassment, busdriver. The fact that others do it as well doesn’t make it right.</p>
<p>People had just intimated that regular white guys don’t say suggestive things to passing women. The point was brought up that it is a power and control thing and it seems that guys will engage in this type of behavior often as a dominance/verility display to the guys who they are with more that the targeted person. </p>
<p>I have heard of the same offensive tradition: the frat boys hold up numbered placards to rate the young women. Thiis one’s a 10, that one’s a 2, etc. I have never heard of sororities doing that, and (although I am no sorority fan) it does not sound like the type of thing that sororities do. It seems like the sort of thing men do, not women.</p>
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<p>Being single, what would I know, but I get the impression there are a lot of wives who don’t give any autonomy to the husband.</p>
<p>Yea, there is definitely a “power” issue in many relationships and one party holds veto and permission power. Seems better to me when decisions are shared, but different strokes, I guess. </p>
<p>One of my sibs is amazed our family is able to make decisions because she sees all 4 in my family as “leaders.” Our general rule is whomever cares the most plans and decides–no grumbling from the others. Works for us. </p>
<p>I had a classmate in law school who says he ALWAYS rates people when he meets them (male and female) in some internal scale and bases his interactions with them on whether he perceives them as higher, lower or equal. I told him I thought it was a colossal waste of time and very presumptuous. Don’t think it made any impression on him. </p>
<p>“I have heard of the same offensive tradition: the frat boys hold up numbered placards to rate the young women. Thiis one’s a 10, that one’s a 2, etc. I have never heard of sororities doing that, and (although I am no sorority fan) it does not sound like the type of thing that sororities do. It seems like the sort of thing men do, not women”</p>
<p>I would definitely classify that as bullying, and harassment.</p>
<p>But if it is merely talking amongst each other, I don’t think you can call it harassment. Yes, if it is done loudly. But really, as distasteful as something may be, you really can’t monitor what people say in private conversation. </p>
<p>“The woman in the video was wearing TIGHT as in spray-on almost jeans, she was wearing heavy makeup, and she had a microphone in each hand (which you can see she has a black long thing in each hand pretty clearly. “You don’t wanna talk?” is the comment shown here:”</p>
<p>Oh please. While her outfit isn’t to my taste (it wasn’t particularly flattering to her), it was nondescript and not in the least bit “look-at-me-boys.” Anyway, it shouldn’t matter even if it WAS a flattering outfit on a hot body with a beautiful face. </p>
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<p>That is not the practice we were referring to. A tradition at some fraternities is to haul a couch or chairs out in front of the building and sit there holding up cards that rate the passing women. </p>
<p>I do think that we also need to encourage our daughters not to be victims, though.</p>
<p>And if a group of guys really is rating girls with placards and hooting as they walk by, sometimes it gives them too much power to go and be all upset and Demand They Be Stopped and so forth. Another way of demonstrating strength is just to roll one’s eyes at the low-life-loserness of these guys and move on with whatever you had planned to do. They want a reaction; that’s the true thing they want to elicit. </p>
<p>Or, alternatively, whip out your own sign that says “Zero”.</p>
<p>Totally ignoring it and not even bothering with the eyeroll seems preferable. Why waste ANY time or give them ANY attention. They are invisible and totally UNDESERVING!</p>
<p>That same behavior got a fraternity put on probation back in the 80s. I’m surprised it is not specifically forbidden.</p>
<p>It may be specifically forbidden now at some schools, but the point is, it was done by white guys.</p>
<p>" That is not the practice we were referring to. A tradition at some fraternities is to haul a couch or chairs out in front of the building and sit there holding up cards that rate the passing women."</p>
<p>Then, as I said, that would be both bullying and harassment. I think a phone call to their national fraternity would put an end to it.</p>
<p>The point was that harassment, cat-calls and forced niceties are not unique to men of color or men of a certain economic class. My first cat-call incident that I remember was when I was 12 walking to the bus stop . . . construction workers.</p>
<p>I thought there was a lot of harassment in the corporate world.</p>
<p>I have seen college women in bar windows doing just that same rating card think. </p>
<p>“I have seen college women in bar windows doing just that same rating card think”</p>
<p>And what score did you get?</p>
<p>Bus, you need some spanking!</p>