Thanks for your concern. I will also remind my daughter about dehydration.
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Sorry about the weird link. It does work. Itâs the John Mulaney piece called Accidently Chasing a Woman
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I wasnât concerned about your daughter, or you. Just the unwillingness of the public at large ( which includes men) to accurately assess statistical risk in any given situation.
It isnt just about crime. Traffic accidents are underrated as a real threat; plane accidents are overrated
We have those discussions with DD as well, especially since sheâs in college where sheâs more likely to be in situations where alcohol can inhibit natural instincts. She also has a majority of male friends, is going into a male dominated field and has had several friends ask her out. So far her only threats have come from strangers. I got a phone call a few weeks ago from DD; she sensed she was being followed in Walmart and noticed the man was following her outside. She had tried switching departments quickly to make sure it wasnât random coincidence. I stayed on the phone with her while she found an employee to escort her to her car. Weâre in a rural area where most people would give you the shirt off their backs, but there are sketchy people everywhere.
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Yes, there are. Particularly close to home, where most attacks occur.
a younger friend on FB posted meme to subject question saying, âIf I were attacked by a bear, people would believe meâ. Makes me a bit sad to realize that though gains have been made, itâs still a tough world
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Thanks to this thread I had some strange dreams last night. 
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Me too! How funny!
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Same, but it didnât help that my nephew called to say they closed on their property in the area where the cocaine bear story happened 
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Just jumping in to add - how kind of you, Maine Longhorn, to volunteer at the juvenile detention center.
Iâve learned that too in my prior line of work - people who do terrible things have often had terrible things done to them.
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Iâm going to make a few statements that I think (hope?) most will agree on, as I think that some of us are getting lost in the details.
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Most men are good guys.
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Most women think that most men are good guys.
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When in a populated area (i.e. there are others around), most women do not assume ill-intent of most men.
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Most women can be physically overpowered by most men.
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Most women try to remain aware of their surroundings because of their physical vulnerability.
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Maintaining situational awareness does not generally indicate high levels of anxiety.
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I understand what you are saying here and I agree with most of your points, but two of the most violating experiences I had as a young teenager occurred in well populated areas. One a party where no one stepped in to help and one a large gathering where some guys thought it was funny to grope girls in bathing suits
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Sure, but women will always choose the bear.
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I was trying to make the same point about the two men who approached the earlier poster. She was understandably afraid because they had rifles. But I tried to suggest that in retrospect these men were actually the âhelpersâ, who were checking if she was safe in the woods, and then going about their way. @ClassicMom98 expressed it better than I did.
Put another way, if a lone woman encounters a man in the woods, 99+% of the time she will be safer than before. But in the absence of other danger (being lost, injured, dehydrated, etc.), thatâs not particularly useful. A tiny fraction of the time, she will be in danger because of predatory men.
I donât actually know which situation is more likely (being in need of help and being helped by men, or being attacked by men).
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Iâve run across black bears multiple times in western Montana (my grandparents had property there, where we used to spend our summers) and we were always happy to see them. We occasionally saw bears when out hiking, and a few times there were bears wandering around on our property.
Never saw a grizzly bear, but I know there are grizzlies around there, too. I would be more nervous to see a grizzly bear.
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Yea, grizzlies definitely more of a concern. In the the Glacier National Park area, there is a lot of bear spray sold and rented. We heard that typically groups of 4 or more were pretty safe, so we did ranger tours or hung near others.
Yes, for sure. At a recent party, we learned that two of the boys, brothers, were arrested at the same time as their mother! Iâm not sure what happened, but wow. These two kids were very mouthy and impolite, which is rare. I canât imagine what their home life was like.
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the following is my own personal opinion and is not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here, on anybodyâs son(s), or anything like that.
</end disclaimer>
This is a topic where being a female IS a different experience than being a male. For example:
DH & I have been married for 28 yr. Iâve known him forever and a day. You know what I do every night before I go to bed? I check that all the doors & windows of our house are closed & locked. Does DH pay attention to this or do this himself? No. In fact, many times, heâs gotten home later than I from something and he absent mindedly doesnât close the garage doorâŠAND doesnât LOCK the door from the house to the garage. And I discover it in the a.m. OMG. With me and our 2 teenage daughters in the house. Door open wide all night long and our house is close to a busy 6-lane road in a busy suburban city.
doesnât matter how many times I talk to him about it. He just doesnât think of this. He thinks that I am paranoid and that none of it is a big deal.
The outside side gate from our front yard to the backyard? It has a locking thing on the backyard side of the gate. I always lock it. DH doesnât. He thinks Iâm anal retentive and paranoid for locking it.
Why do I lock it? Personal safety for me and our teenage daughters.
Before we lived in this house, we lived in a 1st floor apartment for about 7-8 months. I was always anxious living there because somebody from basically outside on the other side of the single-paned window would be able to easily bust into the apartment and abduct my kids in the middle of the night. Itâs because of stuff like this that Iâve always preferred apartments that are NOT on the 1st floor. My sister is best friends w/a gay male couple in London who have a 1st floor flatâŠshe told them about a similar concern of hers and guess what? It had never occurred to them.
Itâs good that I have bionic hearing, though. DH, on the other hand, sleeps like the dead and Armageddon would be happening but heâd sleep through it.
Most men are good guys.
Most men are not creepers.
But I, and my kids, have had to develop situational awareness just out of common sense. Itâs the reason that my kids donât walk out and about with their noses in their phones. Itâs the reason Iâve followed the principles in a book called âProtecting The Giftâ throughout my parenting.
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Funny enough, in our household it is the exact reverse. I am the one who locks everything.
My wife is also the type to put her purse on a cafe table to claim the table while she waits in line (she does this if she doesnât have a jacket). Fortunately we live in a town where itâs not been stolen yet.
ETA: In our home, I am also the one who taught our kids about âstranger dangerâ, as in they should be wary of unknown adults that approach them. But I also emphasized that if they are ever lost, hurt, or otherwise need help that they SHOULD approach adults, even if they are strangers. My reasoning is that in those cases, the odds are that they are far safer in the help of strangers than in trying to be alone.
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Excellent book- Also De Beckerâs Gift of Fear. I taught my Dâs the principles in that book early on. The book was given to me by a female workmate years ago.
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