Women would rather come across a bear than a man in the woods

I am so glad I am not the mother of a son who is randomly feared as a threat by women.
I expect women moderate their response based upon the age and ethnicity of the random hiker encountered, but we won’t discuss that here.

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Similar to @Leigh22, I have had numerous unpleasant/frightening encounters with men. I don’t think I’m going to be murdered, but there IS a risk of negative interactions. Maybe because I was a runner for so many years and heard LOTS of stories from my circle of women running friends.

And no, I don’t have specific fears related to age or ethnicity. The negative interactions I had were with white men of different ages.

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One of my kids runs all over the world. If random comments by strangers bothered her, she would stay home all the time. For her, just basic precautions are a good compromise

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My daughter has had several scary encounters in Portland, not a big city. She is taking self-defense classes.

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Always a good idea

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Such a random, unnecessary assumption.

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As the mom of a boy, I understand when people say quickly: not all men! because it’s 100% true, and because my boy is not one of those men.

But as I have also explained to my boy: it’s absolutely “not all men” but because no one ever knows which man, women are often cautious about all men.

(It would be great if the all the harmful men wore one certain identifying hat, so we knew to just avoid that man, and we’d know that all the other men were fine. Wouldn’t it? A special hat for the harmful ones so we’d all know to avoid them? Fantastic.)

My kiddo grew up taking the city bus on his own, and as a younger and smaller boy on a couple of occasions was nervous or scared by a man that was on the bus, or was near him while walking home. We of course talked about safety, and situational awareness, and what to do.

Once he was walking home on a summer night 3 years ago, it was dark and late and he thought a car was following him. He crossed the street and went the opposite way he had been walking, and the car turned around and kept following him. He ended up hiding and running through a yard and then hiding again until the car went away (it circled the block twice, slowly looking for him), and he was understandably upset and scared when he got home. He was maybe 5’7" at the time, and had a slight build; in other words: no match for a big guy if he aimed to harm him.

Now he’s 19, just under 6’ tall and has an athletic, strong look. Walking through the same areas in the dark doesn’t bring up any sense of worry or fear in him. The streets and the neighborhood haven’t changed, but he got bigger.

And we talked about that, because I am both very glad that my son likely is not an easy target for violence, and that he feels safe walking around. I’m happy for him! And I want him (as one of the "good"guys) to recognize and understand how a woman or girl can feel walking alone in the dark - because when he was smaller and lighter, he felt that way too. It’s not about “lacking confidence” or “living in fear” - it’s just simply the way it is when you’re a smaller person.

So yeah - me, at a petite 5’2" would rather come across a brown bear than a man if I’m alone in the woods. But…I don’t go alone into the woods. :pensive:

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That is a good compromise if you are willing to make it in view of your perception of the level of risk.
I am just sad that a whole generation of young women seem extraordinarily anxious to their detriment.

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How do you know your boy isn’t one of those men? It sounds like people on this thread would view him as such. We really have no idea what our older children do when we’re not around.

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There are no right or wrong answers here, only personal answers. Everyone should respect that and express your opinions without other assumptions or dissing.

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When in civilization (i.e., within a distance that others would be able to hear me), I generally assume good intent of all people, because there is an additional source of security in the surroundings. So, I greet people (male & female, regardless of race or age). I roll down my window to give snacks to people (including men) presenting as unhoused. If I need directions (or a man stops me to ask for directions), I feel perfectly comfortable interacting with them. But that’s because there are people driving down the street, or we’re in a neighborhood filled with occupied homes, or there are other pedestrians in the area. But, if there’s no societal security blanket around, then yes, I am more wary of potential safety risks.

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Yes, if he were a stranger, I would be wary. I think @blueberriesforsal worded it well: " It would be great if the all the harmful men wore one certain identifying hat, so we knew to just avoid that man, and we’d know that all the other men were fine. Wouldn’t it? A special hat for the harmful ones so we’d all know to avoid them? Fantastic."

A “nice guy” at the student union at UT offered to walk me home after we talked for a little while. He told me he was about to go to medical school. Naively, I said yes, and about a block from my dorm, he tried to start kissing and fondling me! Fortunately, some people appeared and he slunk off. For some reason, as he walked away, I said, “Good luck in medical school!” WTH? Now when I hear victims accused of fabricating stories due to their odd reactions after an incident, I think of my story and don’t judge them.

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Situational awareness should always be a focus no matter the environment.

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I can understand that one might get testy if the mass assumption is that all males are dangerous ( with maybe exceptions for those under 10 or over 70?). If others wish to make such an assumption, it does not impact upon me. People are free to worry about whatever they wish, including bear attacks.

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Unless someone here is giving a full reveal, you or “we” don’t know all the incidents/facts/stories around why they have formed their opinion about bear vs man or bear vs woman for that matter. Nor are we owed it.

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No, we don’t think that all males are dangerous. But we can’t judge which ones ARE, so we have to be careful around all of them when we’re not in a group, as I learned in college.

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I spent 3 hours alone with grizzlies in the wild, in Alaska, and never felt threatened.

I’m more wary of men than women, but it’s very situation specific.

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But you feel the need to be careful around “all” men, correct?

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When I’m by myself, yes. If you’ve never been assaulted, it might be hard to understand.

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