<p><a href=“College Students Scared Straight Prank - YouTube”>College Students Scared Straight Prank - YouTube; (a good video for any creative)</p>
<p>Where is the parenting here? Maybe a talk about the difference between a vocation and a hobby.
The kid next door is working on his masters in tuba at USC…</p>
<p>Does anyone ask what does it take to keep my upper middle class life style? </p>
<p>I’ll take the bait, wave, though I know I shouldn’t feed the tr-ooops! Can’t say that. Without the arts the world would be a cold, dark, silent place without light and color and movement and joy. Some people have talent enough to make a living painting, drawing, dancing and making music. Others do enough to get by while a significant other supports them (happily so!) and others work day jobs to support their art. It’s all good because it works for THEM and the rest of us benefit. The parenting is happening when parents allow their artistic child pursue their dreams.</p>
<p>I have a BIL who’s a successful actor. He did his time as a waiter and doorman, but he got the experience and the notice and he is a proud upper middle class member now. My ex wasn’t allowed to major in the arts so he plays music at night while working in engineering. It’s the music that makes him happy, though. My nieces had a dance teacher who blew out a knee almost as soon as she hit Broadway. But her dance major wasn’t wasted, she runs a successful dance studio/gym. Many paths…the world doesn’t need ONLY engineers, doctors or I-bankers. That might surprise some, but it’s actually true that we need humanities and liberal arts grads.</p>
<p>All of this is normal.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, parenting is not normal. Kids are told to pursue their passions, that all kids win a trophy and American kids rank the highest in the world in self-esteem and nothing else upon which to base one’s self-esteem. Hence, reality is a big piece of crap dropped in their laps after an entire childhood and young adulthood of living a fantasy.</p>
<p>And television and music and the Internet make it look like getting rich doing nothing is actually easy and common. All lies expertly told by those that profit off the hype.</p>
<p>I see this with my kids even though I have tried to give them as much reality as possible. The external influences are overwhelming and exist in a smart phone or other device 24/7.</p>
<p>I say let life sink in a little and gently guide them onto a better path. Don’t financially support the fantasy once they finish college. Cut them off.</p>
<p>Mada, I see that a lot in a small town, parents using their influence and clout, removing obstacles in the path of their children. When faced with real world issues, they often faulter. It’s hard to watch, as I always want to see young adults move forward with their lives.</p>
<p>It’s also true the media hypes a get rich quick lifestyle, the same media profits off the hype, yes, you are right.</p>
<p>Still, when one is young and unencumbered, it’s a good time to shoot for your dreams. I didn’t have any safety net when I went out into the real word, so fear stopped me some. My son has a safety net, that of stable parents, and he knows there’s no shame in returning to the nest, so to speak, if the first attempts to go out on his own don’t pan out.</p>
<p>Speaking of that, sorry to ramble, but I once read that NASA doesn’t claim to have failure. They categorize it as a “false start”. If something doesn’t work the first time, it’s a false start. Doesn’t work again…another false start. I think it’s okay for young adults to know they don’t have to get everything right Immediately, some things are hit and miss, but the message should be keep trying.</p>
<p>I agree to a degree. People fail. It’s nice to call it a false start. It’s a way to say try, try again which I agree with but it is a little coddling to call it something other than what it is. </p>
<p>There have been national tragedies around events in NASA’s history. That shows that failure no matter what we call it can have devastating consequences. The nice thing is that the decisions young adults make about what to do post-college are not nearly as consequential.</p>
<p>Kids need to do something and stick with it and learn to value work for the gift that it is. They need to gain skills, hone their work ethic and move on when it’s time.</p>
Start a dance studio or do a PhD and teach. That’s about it. Not very many options with that major.
Students do need to look realistically at how they can do what they love and make enough money to live life ‘comfortably’. Sometimes with the fine arts the career path is not perhaps so direct, but OP’s DD does have plans. Transitions are scary. Sometimes a meltdown (i.e. a good cry) is needed to ‘clear the emotions’. Keep up with encouraging her, and have her keep eyes/ears open for opportunities as she continues along. Planning ahead is something that is helpful, esp to seek out opportunities with some time available. Thankfully parents can still carry YA on health insurance. “25 is the new 21”
A woman I know majored in dance. She teaches dance at a local performing center and they are sending out dancers that are earning college scholarships. She also has opened two yoga/work out spas that have a large list of members. We live in northern Minnesota. You wouldn’t really think you could do much with a dance major in our area, but she has been happy, successful, and has a positive influence in her community. It’d be a pretty sad world if no one went into the arts. That said, my kid is going to school to be a nurse and I’m thrilled that she’ll have a pretty clear career path. Hopefully she won’t finish school and decide she doesn’t want to be one - I’ve seen a few kids do that.
A friend has two DDs - one has MBA (along with H, and lots of school debt from Emory) - so one couple is on high income track (have to with both paying off Emory MBAs); other DD has a degree in dance and theater - has opportunities in Atlanta and is ‘making it’.
It is unfortunate that some of the creative fine arts does not have more of a middle ‘base’ of pay; you have ‘starving artists’ and then those that are making very, very good money.
You guys are great - well most of you. LOL. I’m sorry I’ve been away and not answered some of your comments and I apologize. My DD is very headstrong - she chose her own babysitter at the age of 5 months - she didn’t like the first one I chose - refused to eat for 7 hours two days straight - got a different one and she was fine. She knows her own mind. There was no steering her into anything but dance. It is a passion. Her whole being changes when she is on stage. She loves to perform. She also glows when working with individuals with disabilities. Her brother who adores her has Down Syndrome, so she has grown up with it. She spent last summer as a camp counselor and all the special needs kids were put in her group. Her APA program has been quite hands-on, always involving individuals with disabilities as part of the curriculum. She has learned a great deal. She does not have high needs, is not impressed by designer labels, satisfied by very little and is quite content with not making huge amounts of money. To her success will be being in a dance troupe, working a cruise line - performing. She is trying to figure out where to make her base and where will be the most opportunities for auditioning. New York is probably the highest on her list right now. Keep the advice coming, again sorry my responses have taken so long.
I don’t think living at home is a big deal. D is currently back in the nest and commuting to her job. She’s saving fortune in expenses. And frankly, with her upcoming hours (tax accounting) she’s only home a little bit - so why pay rent.
I do not know much (anything?) about the dance/theater world. So, I hope this doesn’t sound like an insult…but has the OP’s D thought about the cruise industry. We have taken a number of cruises over the past few years at it continues to astound me how many entertainers (some of them very very very good) that industry employes. It also give someone an incredible chance to meet a wide variety of people - aka - potential connections.
OP, have your DD look at Vancouver, BC. It’s a a hub for many TV shows and movie shoots, both for Hollywood and Canadian film. It’s also got a thriving theater scene. My BIL went up there for summer stock 30 years ago and stayed. He has had roles in many, many movies and TV shows, but his real love is theater. He finances (quite well) his love of theater, which does not pay that well by doing bit parts, commercials and voiceovers. He also travels to Toronto quite often, as that’s another artistic hub. He did work in NYC after college too, but there are fewer “starving artists” to compete with in Seattle. It was a good stepping stone to Vancouver.