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<p>I think I’ve seen this movie.</p>
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<p>Well, better to get involved with someone you’ve gotten to know well rather than with someone you just met at a party or somewhere.</p>
<p>There’s plenty of drama and jealousy involved in same gender rooms, too.</p>
<p>Here is what my daughter went through: My daughter roomed with “Jane” – they met online over the summer before starting schools, things clicked, and by the time school started, they were already becoming good friends. DD had a good friend she had known since high school, named “Bill”, who came to help with dorm move-in and met Jane. Things really clicked between Jane and Bill – and within days they were inseparable. So then DD shared a room with Jane+Bill – except for the times when Jane+Bill were off somewhere else. Jane+Bill tried to include DD in some of their activities, but it quickly became tiresome as Jane+Bill had eyes only for each other, and hanging out with them as the third person of a twosome was no fun. Things only got worse as the year wore on. </p>
<p>I doubt that DD is bothered by the presence of a male in the room when she changes, but the point is that any room-sharing has the potential for drama and conflict. </p>
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<p>It didn’t matter that much. By the second occasion, all of the girls were wearing t-shirts and gym shorts under their band uniforms. Problem solved. It was only the first time, when they had to strip down to bras and panties, that was awkward.</p>
<p>as a theater kid, I agree with @Calmom . if you are about to go on stage and you are looking for help with a costume, it doesn’t really matter what gender help you when you might miss your cue. Also, Last year, as boys were waiting backstage to come on stage there were girls quickly changing costumes behind a nearby clothing rack. </p>
<p>Right, but all the scenarios mentioned above are one shot type of deals. We are talking about living permanently with that type of situation. From my perspective it would be a tedious and awkward living arrangement for the duration of a school year. I prefer more privacy when it comes to these sorts of things. But I am open minded enough to say “to each his own”.</p>
<p>But gender-neutral housing is never a result of random assignment – it is for situations where the roommates have chosen to live together. So the type of person who would be bothered by that arrangement isn’t going to be in it. There are a lot of people who aren’t bothered - I mean, my d. is pretty relaxed about that sort of thing. </p>
<p>And it’s not as if the roommate is constantly present, always staring in the direction of wherever the person has to be when dressing. </p>
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<p>So were we. Everyone wore shorts and tee shirts under their uniforms, so it’s like taking off your coat and snow pants in a ski lodge. Both can be done out in the open without compromising anyone’s privacy.</p>
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<p>Trust me, the working poor are under no illusion that those with higher incomes also have higher standards of behavior, and we have no interest in trying to emulate whatever standards they happen to be exhibiting. If we need someone to set an example of proper behavior for our children, we have parents and grandparents who are more than capable of taking on that responsibility.</p>
<p>To each his/her own is the philosophy I adhere to as well. However, I have to admit that I am a tiny bit concerned that students may be subtly pressured into accepting a new norm that they are not entirely comfortable with if opposite-sex random assignment becomes “opt-in” option for freshmen students.</p>
<p>I draw upon my own experience as a college student in the mid-80s when co-ed floors with co-ed bathrooms were first becoming mainstream.</p>
<p>I absolutely, positively, 100%, did not want – and was not ready for – a co-ed bathroom.</p>
<p>It was an “opt-in system” in that there were plenty of single-sex halls and floors available with single-sex bathrooms.</p>
<p>But the only thing that I feared more than a co-ed bathroom was being seen as “uncool.” Choosing the single-sex floor was decidedly uncool. So I went with the co-ed option and was truly miserable every single day. I NEVER got used to it.</p>
<p>Now co-ed bathrooms are so entrenched in the social fabric that most students do not bat an eyelash. But I fear that when “opting in” to randomly assigned, co-ed dorm ROOMS becomes more common for freshman students, students will feel pressured to opt in even when they are not entirely comfortable with the prospect of sharing a room with a randomly assigned roommate of the opposite sex.</p>
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<p>While my LAC had co-ed bathrooms, it was opt-in by majority vote by students in each wing of my dorms. No one seemed to have an issue with being considered “uncool” as the vote in one case was to have only 1 co-ed bathroom and the rest were all male/female depending on how the vote went. </p>
<p>Also, even in a co-ed bathroom, there was a movable makeshift sign so a given student can move the sign to make the bathroom male only/female only/co-ed as desired. </p>
<p>Taken from my college experience in the mid-late '90s. </p>
<p>“But I fear that when “opting in” to randomly assigned, co-ed dorm ROOMS becomes more common for freshman students, students will feel pressured to opt in even when they are not entirely comfortable with the prospect of sharing a room with a randomly assigned roommate of the opposite sex.”</p>
<p>As far as I know, there is not one college which allows Freshman to opt-in at all. </p>
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<h1>When my daughter was in high school marching band, the students were expected to change out of their band uniforms immediately after a competition, on the band bus, in full view of one another. The purpose was to keep the uniforms as clean as possible. And there was no other location available.</h1>
<p>So were we. Everyone wore shorts and tee shirts under their uniforms, so it’s like taking off your coat and snow pants in a ski lodge. Both can be done out in the open without compromising anyone’s privacy.</p>
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<p>@austinmshauri
The issue was that the students were NOT informed beforehand that they were going to face this “mixed-sex-undressing” situation. If the school had informed them ahead of time, then shorts/undershirts would have been worn (which is what the kids resorted to for later events). </p>
<p>I would have been outraged if my D had been made to strip down to panties and bra in front of boys. I can think of several scenarios which would be humiliating for many students. To abuse authority in that instance is outrageous. There is an imbalance of power here. The folks-in-charge already knew that the band uniforms needed to stay clean. It was their responsibility to have the foresight to warn the kids. Once THEIR OWN MISTAKE was realized, they should have had the good sense to come up with a back up plan…such as having the girls first go on the bus and change (and having the boys outside and turned around) and then reverse.</p>
<p>(and my goodness, with everyone having a phone with a camera on it, the risk of some smartass kid quickly taking a shot or two would be too great.)</p>
<p>“Last year, as boys were waiting backstage to come on stage there were girls quickly changing costumes behind a nearby clothing rack.”</p>
<p>Hmmm. Why do you think they were <em>behind a clothing rack</em>? </p>
<p>Are there actually schools that randomly assign freshmen to be roommates with someone of the opposite gender? I have never heard of one that does that. And usually it isn’t an option for freshmen anyway. When I was in college, I lived for a year and a half with my then boyfriend/now husband and three other male friends, two of whom often had their girlfriends staying there. I think that all five of my Ds spent at least a year or two living with mixed groups in college/grad/law/med school. Two of them lived in dorms where the suites were of mixed gender. The biggest problem I can recall was that most of the boys were slobs.</p>
<p>This seems like kind of a pointless discussion to me.</p>
<p>@Pizzagirl im building off of post #46 that was mentioned earlier. That modesty issues may not be as big of a problem if you just turn around. I dont think there will be many people who, as an another poster said, “prancing around naked.” If being naked in front of an other is a true issue, then change in the batheoom or under the covers which people in single gendered rooms even do. </p>
<p>“Are there actually schools that randomly assign freshmen to be roommates with someone of the opposite gender?”</p>
<p>No.</p>