Would you buy your kid a car?

Parent Cafe
21

<p>We got by with two cars–6’1" H drove a Neon to work; I had an ancient Caravan that the kids negotiated to borrow(I walked to work, so I generally didn’t need it anyway.) S never thought he was too cool for a Minivan.</p>

<p>Luckily, in NJ they can’t drive till 17, so they’re practically in college when the situation comes up. Insurance is too much to have extra cars here.</p>

<p>Recently, we sold the Neon and got a Hybrid Civic. It gets driven once or twice a week (we both walk to work) and the van hauls kayaks and gets used by S when home from school. Mostly, both sit in the driveway, a lot. We are really fortunate to be able to walk to just about everything.</p>

<p>Neither of my kids has ever owned a car, even my 24-year-old D.</p>

22

<p>We did not buy a car for our only son when he turned 16 even tho all of his friends received cars! There were several factors that we considered. First of all, we knew that MOST colleges do not allow freshman to have cars, and even if they do, the parking can be a nightmare not to mention the distance one must walk from the designated freshman parking to campus! We just could not justify the cost for owning a car for basically 2 years of HS knowing that there were no other siblings to pass the car down to once he was off at college. And yes, the friends that received cars, they sit in the driveways now. Mind you there is nothing wrong with this, but we just could not justify it at that age–he borrowed our cars a lot and we worked scheduling out with the use of car. Will we buy him a car at some point? Probably, but as the screen name implies, he is at Notre Dame, more than 11 hours away. The few kids we know that have cars there are always the ones that people are responsible for driving everyone else around, or people are borrowing their cars. Just don’t know if we are quite ready for that liability yet! Plus, with the road conditions as they have been for the last month, I am thankful that he does not have a car. It is indeed a personal family decision; this has just worked for our family.</p>

23

<p>We bought a used Xterra for our oldest when he turned 16, he drove that until his brother turned 16, then we gave our oldest my husband’s car, who got something new. We have now bought our middle s a car to take to college (making sure that it was the same amount “used” as the car my oldest is driving). My youngest will now drive the good old Xterra for a while. It has turned out to be a great “kids” car - no mechanical problems, has withstood the typical bumps and bruises of a learning driver, safely protected my oldest in the one “wreck” he has had, and is cool enough that they aren’t embarrassed driving around in it ;)</p>

<p>That car has been worth every penny we spent on it!</p>

24

<p>We bought each of our 2 S’s a vehicle when they turned 16. They both have jobs and pay for gas and small maintenance. We pay for any big $ maintenance. With jobs, sports, girlfriends, etc. It just really made our life easier plus we really didn’t want them driving our car and truck which were both just a few years old then. I would definitely advise getting an older/cheaper (but safe car) as it has been our experience that bumps,dents,scratches here and there are inevitable. Your blood pressure doesn’t rise quite as rapidly when you see a scratch/dent on a 8-10 year old vehicle. We just carry liability insurance on theirs.<br>
S1 is now a college soph. and took his car to his large state u. freshman year and parked in a rented off campus spot. It has been invaluable to him.</p>

25

<p>We did not buy either son a car. We have three cars, but one is not suitable for winter driving. College sophomore really doesn’t need a car at school, in any case. The kids can share extra car when both are home - older son will have a summer term this year, so it won’t be an issue.</p>

<p>Many friends, and even my siblings, have purchased cars for their kids as soon as possible. I’m just not comfortable about it. Both of our kids had/will have had their permits for a full year before they get their licenses. Where we live, driving conditions and traffic can be dangerous – at least two classmates have been killed in auto accidents over the last few years. If I had my choice, they wouldn’t be allowed to get a license until 18 (maybe even older for boys!)</p>

26

<p>I would agree to later licensing if there was transportation available to my kids, and perhaps in some cities this is practical. Where we live, there is not much public transportation at all, and it would be pretty impossible (and cruel in August) to expect them to walk places. With both my husband and myself working, the kids ability to drive has been a Godsend. </p>

<p>Part of the deal of having wheels is they have to be at our disposal to drive and pick up siblings at practices and activities, make runs to the grocery and drug store, etc. That has been invaluable to me.</p>

27

<p>With 3 Ds, we agree with DMD, we wanted our girls to have safe, reliable, airbagged, quality cars, but did not want to spoil them. We did buy them a car, to use…we bought a car suitable for them and our FAMILY used it. When the time came for D to drive herself & sister to high school, that was great. Usually it would me H or myself driving the car that is earmarked for the kid away at school. I’d rather not have little sister crash big sister’s car :slight_smile: Better it would be mom or dad who injured it ;)</p>

<p>No one gets to take a car freshman year. In some schools a car may be appropriate, at others it may not, so we would make that decision based on the school, but the car bought with D in mind, then left behind when she’s off to university, does not sit there are wait for her, instead the family drives it, maintains it, etc. If a D were to take a car for school, she would pay gas & insurance whilst we pay maintenance.</p>

<p>As some one mentioned above, we offer the pink slip to the car at graduation. Earn a bachelor’s degree, that car becomes yours…owned by us since new, well-maintained by us since day 1, all miles put on it by some one in our family. I don’t like the sense of entitlement at BMW high schools and did not want to buy into that, but wanted to have a car for the kids to drive, and to offer them a reasonable, reliable, well-maintained car, without over-indulging.</p>

<p>Any tickets or accidents would definitely change our outlook. The oldest is 21, never a ticket or problem, she’s an outstanding driver, the other two, that remains to be seen :wink: I was blown away when I heard all the stories about the kids who got multiple tickets or had immediate fender-benders, and especially the number of kids who totalled cars in HS. </p>

<p>One more rule, perhaps helpful in leading to better driving skills?? All the girls have to drive a standard, not automatic, transmission, I think it forces them to be much more competent before they drive on their own. We also did not allow the driver’s license just because they turned 16. D1 had the permit & the license the first possible moment and has always liked driving. D2 & D3 will each have gone beyond their initial eligibility dates due to lack of early practice time, they did not show an early passion for driving, so had not put in enough time for the license. It was pretty obvious when they actually were “ready.”</p>

28

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One tall grandparent and 3 short grandparents. Thankfully, the boy is tall and the girl short, but that is another thread.</p>

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<p>Well, actually I was making a feeble attempt at a joke. You must not have ever seen an Echo, and the 2 parental units’ cars have a combined 185000 miles on them. To be redneck down here, you actually have to have cars on blocks, along with tractor tire planters and a bottle tree in the front yard. The real reason we are reluctant to have 4 cars is it is a pain to park them and get your particular vehicle out.</p>

<p>I can’t copy the other quotes that caught my eye. D isn’t entirely manipulating us. She is as picky as I am, and sat in and test drove practically every small car on the market before settling on the Echo, I don’t think anyone wants to go through that again! </p>

<p>It is a tremendous convenience factor for us to have son drive, at least back and forth to school and his other activities. Also, he will most likely need the car at college, unlike in the NE, it is rare here for a kid to go away to college without a car (just another expense, to separate the haves from the have nots - those who were complaining about Yale Duke Dartmouth and HArvard, ought to take a look at the frosh parking lot at Auburn, or better yet, SMU). I know ya’ll won’t believe me, and I did get by almost one whole semester in college without a car, but it was difficult. My DS won’t be going to any selective school, and the less selective the school here, the higher the percentage of commuters - the more the uni is set up for commuters, the harder it is to manage without a car, even living in the dorm.</p>

<p>Someone e-mailed me with safety concerns about Echos, and I share those, too. My D was a very safe driver, just a couple of dents getting out of tight spots without power steering (dents from walls and posts, not other cars), but I am under no illusions about son. We just try to keep very tight reins on where he is going, and with - that is one of the reasons we aren’t happy with him getting rides. His “sub sisters” as he calls them, have all been older, seniors, and have sort of taken him as the little brother that none of them ever had. All the rides are rides straight home, where we have a pretty good idea of when they should arrive from the rehearsal or early dismissal, etc. You can keep them from going off with their friends, just be prepared to be “the meanest, strictest parents in the whole world!!!” Very uncool, and very weird about some things.</p>

<p>It has been very handy to have 3 cars and 2 drivers, no prob when something needs repairs.</p>

<p>We most likely will do the swap, mainly because I am of the “kids should drive something safe” school, especially if DS has to commute to college. DH loves his truck, but it is beginning to age, and maybe is the best one to get wrecked if that is inevitable.</p>

29

<p>ag54, my D also drives an Xterra. She selected the highly attractive construction yellow model. It has been outstanding. 4000 pounds of metal with only 170 h.p. And as you said, a certain amount of style or coolness. Perfect. ;)</p>

<p>There is no car (or SUV with a car chassis) made that can withstand the abuse the ranch dishes out on a daily basis. Gotta have a truck.</p>

30

<p>We have three cars…none of them belongs to the kids. I drive a Volvo, DH drives a Subaru and we have a Mazda van. When the kids are home, they have to use whatever is not being used by the adults. When DS went to college, it was pretty clear that the third car would be used by DD when she got her license. As with Cangel, we just got sick of the driving around…we live in a rural area and three trips to school per day was getting old. So…the kids drove whatever, and often it was the van which neither of them viewed as a “cool car”. Tough. Re: that Echo…did DD Cangel purchase that with her own money? If not, I guess I would say that it really isn’t “her” car, it’s the family’s car. That being the case…younger brother should use it while she’s at college. I will say that we did occasionally switch cars so that DD (who is pretty small also) could drive one of the sedans instead of the van.</p>

31

<p>Ditto many of the others - I wouldn’t buy my kids cars but I did make sure I have enough family cars to reasonably (according to me) go around. If the kid wants a car of their own they should buy it themselves with their own hard-earned money (that’s what I did when I was 16).</p>

<p>I think it’s a bit crazy when parents buy a 16y/o a brand new car. In addition to the high likelihood that it’ll receive its share of dents and scratches in no time, if the kid goes to college the car is likely to just sit in the parents’ driveway for at least a year and possibly most of 4-5 years depreciating and deteriorating with little use. It also deprives the kid of the opportunity to feel pride in buying themselves their first car.</p>

32

<p>No cars bought for our resident driver, and he has to share with the rest of the family. Fortunately, he can get around on public transportation, if need be.</p>

<p>I don’t know if we will eventully buy a third car. If we do, it will still be “our” car, not his. And no way would he get anything new. DH is still driving a ten year old Volvo.</p>

33

<p>Why are all of your kids leaving their cars at home when they go away to college? Maybe its just because my school is rurally isolated, but public transportation sucks here, especially on nights and weekends. Add to that the fact that bus “stops” are just random sports on the sidewalk, and that every street is having construction done on it, making crossing at the light impossible, and not having a car makes life difficult.</p>

34

<p>Vyse, think it just depends on the city your school is in and your driving distance from home. All 3 of mine took cars to school beginning their freshman years. But all were within 3 hours of home, plenty of parking available on campus, no real public transportation at the schools and I would rather them drive themselves than be beholden or at the mercy of others.</p>

<p>At my daughter’s school, people in photo and equestrian have to have cars in order to do the majors --lots of off campus requirements. Students from great distances tended to buy local clunkers and just resell when they graduated.</p>

35

<p>No way I’d give a 16 year old a car regardless of how much moeny we had or how “mature” I talked myself into thinking that they were. A 16 year old simply does not have the brain development to handle the responsibility, and the statistics show it. </p>

<p>You will do what you want, but as a parent I’d have to ask myself, “am I willing to allow - and pay for - my child to become a statistic?” The answer for me is emphatically “no” - I’m just not willing to risk it.</p>

36

<p>We have four cars now. Until just over a year ago we had three cars. The third car was the kids car. Our daughter drove it her last half year of HS (didn’t get her license until she was 18) but was completely satisfied with bumming rides from friends/neighbors/boyfriend. We were fortunate, her friends were sort of nerdy and careful drivers. She paid for the gas once she started driving. Left it home for her first three years of college but needed it for student teaching her senior year. Her brother took over the car for his last 2 years of high school and then he got Grandparents old car to take to college. Like some other posters, the cars are all ours and we decide who gets to drive what. Well, sort of. Daughter has the jetta, which is a stick and son doesn’t know how to do that. </p>

<p>If the third car is being unused and was bought by you, then I would have a nice conversation with your daughter and explain that. I can understand why she might not like her little/big brother driving a car that she thinks of as hers but if it’s not hers then she should come around once she has some time.</p>

37

<p>“A 16 year old simply does not have the brain development to handle the responsibility, and the statistics show it.”</p>

<p>A bit harsh, no? In my AP Lang/Comp class we’d call that the logical fallacy of oversimplification.</p>

38

<p>I’m 6’ 3 and 1/2" ish and I fit in my 93 civic hatchback. It is a bit low to get in and out of, but I’m spry and limber, not old and decrepit :p. There were however, several cars of equal or larger size which I definitely wouldn’t have been comfortable in or safe driving. Don’t rule out the civic right away, have him test drive it first.</p>

39

<p>Well, Pearl does have a bit of a point, in that the planning center in the frontal lobe isn’t fully developed until age 22-25. But that is a bit of a wait for a car…</p>

40

<p>my sister and i both purchased our own cars. she’s 18 and has a 97 (i think) honda civic which she bought when she was 16 with her own money.</p>