Would you buy your kid a car?

Parent Cafe
81

<p>Agree again with SJ. School is the real job of my high schoolers. Mine is very fortunate to be able to make a ridiculous amount of money for a 16 yr old ($25 an hour) teaching music lessons, so although he doesn’t have a regular hour minimum wage “job” per se, he does earn money on a weekly basis, and is expected to save half for his college fund.</p>

<p>Even so, he would not be able to save enough for a car. It’s going to be some time before we break down and get a third car, considering we just broke down and bought a second one within the last year.</p>

82

<p>I am in the category of those who have purchased a family car for “the use of” HS aged drivers. Some people may think of this “family car” designation as a minor distinction, but the idea of <em>gifting</em> a car to a HS aged teenager does rub me the wrong way. Like dke, we live in an area where it’s common for kids to get new luxury vehicles for their birthday or on the occasion of a new license. To me, I just think it’s a question of too much, too soon. I am not opposed to the idea of helping out an adult or college aged child who needs a car for practical reasons, if one can afford to do so. In our case, S is a freshman living in a city and has no need for a car there at this point. </p>

<p>The bottom line is that everyone has to do the right thing for them, taking into account their own circumstances, priorities, values and pocketbook.</p>

83

<p>I’ve dropped back in on this thread, and I want to add something to this new twist.
My DH is a high school teacher, and kids working for cars instead of having the main focus be education is a pet peeve of his. He sees lots of kids and parents that have confused needs with wants, and learning life lessons about working with the “true work” of a high school student. It ends up with a kid, usually a young man, feeling accomplished if he is working 30 hours per week to cover car, gas and insurance, meanwhile his grades are so bad that he can’t do anything else, but yet he feels satisfied with what is ultimately a financial dead end.
The other scenario he sees played out a lot, is the kid whose parents would will pay X amount toward the car, but allow the kid to work to buy a more “desireable” car, again with the amount of work vs schooltime being excessive</p>

84

<p>By the by, DH teaches at a middle class to lower middle class rural public school, where there are few upper middle class families, a lot of upper 5 figure families, and a lot of poor families. There are also a fair number of families whose income seems high (up into the over $50000 range), but who have no health insurance for the family, so their overall financial state may be precarious.
In many ways, the “car thing” at the public is worse than the situation at son’s private school. At the private, it is more like the different scenarios outlined on this thread - a few kids get expensive cars (often decked out trucks), the vast majority get a car and the task of driving siblings, most kids contribute to the car cost, but the work is managed to not interfere with school.</p>

85

<p>our kids’ school is like dke’s – I am flabbergasted by the cars kids are given for their 16th birthdays. But I suppose I shouldn’t be – I will always remember our eldest – in first grade – sniffling about the fact that the tooth fairy – on his first visit – left only a quarter. “Jenny got a $20 bill,” she said. I’m still peeling pieces of my husband off the ceiling.</p>

86

<p>Cangel, my son works about 24 hours a week. He pays for his own expenses for things like entertainment, going out with his friends, etc. I’ve recently told him to set aside $50 a week for college in the fall, which will bring his personal college account up to about $5,000 - a nice chunk of change towards R&B, expenses, etc.</p>

<p>He is taking 4AP courses this year, plus two other HS university courses and currently has a 91 UW average. He has also learned the value of a dollar. When considering a recent purchase, he weighed how many hours he would have to work to pay for it. He’s also learned how to juggle deadlines and responsibilities.</p>

<p>While I told him he might want to consider working less, he said no, he’s doing fine. As I said before, I am buying a 2nd car for his use, but once he goes away to school it will become another family vehicle. Luckily we live in a village where most everything in his world - work, school, friends - is within walking distance. He’ll be paying for gas, since that will be his own use, but we will handle the purchase and insurance.</p>

<p>I’m really pleased with his current degree of responsibility and good grades, and don’t want him to be flunking out to pay for a car. But I think that working has been a real growing up experience for him. He knows he’ll have to work summers.</p>

<p>I myself worked as a HS librarian in a very monied district. One teacher commented to me during orientation, “Wait til the first day when you see kids drive up in cars that you could never afford!” </p>

<p>Things are a lot different from my days in HS, when only 1 or 2 kids had cars bought for them. I worked and saved $500 for my VW bug.</p>

87

<p>Moonmaid, I don’t think my husband would have any argument with your son’s situation, although he might argue that 24 hours per week is close to the maximum that is reasonable for a student. He is reacting to students who are barely passing, who consider the car to be more important, and parents that refuse to set priorities, or have their own priorities out of whack.</p>

88

<p>Moonmaid, sounds as if you & your S have figured out a nice balance of work for $$$/work for grades. I DO know kids like the ones cangel’s H speaks of, who focus exclusively on the car & the grades go downhill fast. Obviously that’s not your son.</p>

<p>As D is a musician, she has the opportunity to earn her $$ through performances with two bands and occasional wedding music. Babysitting is also great, because there is no set schedule, as would be the case with a retail job. She is a tightwad with her own $$, but would spend like a drunken sailor with ours if we didn’t put limits on that. </p>

<p>I think every family is the expert on their own kids: How much work can they handle, How much $$ do they need to earn, How much responsibility do they need to learn are questions with vastly different answers for each & every kid.</p>

89

<p>Oh, I agree Cangel. I wasn’t arguing with you, just telling you my own kid’s situation. I think either end of the spectrum is ridiculous - parents buying their kids expensive cars, or parents expecting their kids to work to death and not focus on school. </p>

<p>I myself would be happy if my son was working about 15 hours. But he pointed out to me that he has 3 days a week where he does not work at all, including one whole weekend day. On the weekdays when he works, he is home by 9pm and has a couple hours to spend on schoolwork. But he’s the kind of kid that thrives on activity and structure, always has been. Too much free time and he turns into a bit of a lazy bum!</p>

90

<p>

</p>

<p>Amen, stickershock. </p>

<p>I don’t know how some of the kids mentioned in this thread have the time to do it all! My sons play sports for the high school both in fall and spring. They also play on summer teams to prepare and stay in shape for the varsity seasons. There is no time to work and take care of their studies on top of practices and games. I have always considered school to be their “job”. My parents raised me that way and I turned out ok. They also gave me a car (albeit not a luxury one). </p>

<p>I think my kids are responsible and appreciate the opportunities they have had. I don’t see any sense of entitlement.</p>

91

<p>

</p>

<p>When you translate that $4000 into “hours at minimum wage”, that would have been like me paying $2400 for a car back in the early 1980s, instead of $300-500, like I did back then. </p>

<p>$4000 is about 800 hours at minimum wage, which breaks down to 60+ hours per week for the 13 weeks of summer. Perhaps your sister earned more than minimum wage? Unfortunately, that’s not an option for teenagers in many parts of the country.</p>

92

<p>In my family, it’s just my mom. I have two older brothers who both had their first car at 16 because my mom was busy at work and she didn’t have the time to drive us around. One of my brothers was in charge of getting me to day care and himself to school and the other whatever he wanted to do. When I turned 15 my mom was prepared for me to get my license so she wouldn’t have to drive me around to school and whatever else I wanted to do afterwards. My first car was a Ford Ranger truck, I hated it lol not “girly” then my mom got rid of the truck since i hated it so much and got herself a new 2006 volvo xc90 and gave me her volvo now I hate that car cause its to old peopleish :smiley: but either way its about need I guess. My mom wanted me to be more independent and she was only there when she had to be like doctor appointment where I couldnt be alone because I was a minor.</p>

93

<p>That’s sad bbecker. I actually liked driving my kids around so I could talk with them. I’m not saying it was always a pleasure(especially early morning band at 7 am) but when the other Mom’s and I would do a carpool, I would always volunteer to do the pick-up so I could talk and listen to my kids and their friends. That’s what I miss most about them driving and growing up…</p>

94

<p>bbecker-- I think you’ve coined a new term: “old peopleish.” :slight_smile:
A used volvo is a good, safe car to be driving, though, dowdy or not!</p>

95

<p>Our deal with our D was this:</p>

<p>She gets to go to the high-toned, $12K/yr private school – no car.
If she wants a car, she has to go to the local public school. </p>

<p>She chose the school and loves it. I drive her 25 miles to school in the morning; mom picks her up in the afternoon.
She has use of the family’s third car on weekends, when justified. And when she’s out with the car, she has an early curfew.
She hasn’t complained at all. </p>

<p>Her school’s parking lot is loaded with Mercedes-Benzes, Lexuses and even a $56K Porsche (a HS sophomore!). </p>

<p>Our daughter is a senior this year and I can say that the mornings we’ve shared for these four years have been the brightest part of my days. </p>

<p>She doesn’t know it yet, but her graduation gift in May is going to be the new car that she never asked for.</p>

96

<p>Just to chime in with the “additional family car” crew. We had always felt adamantly that we would not get our kids a car at 16. We live in a community where the HS kids parking lot looks like a luxury used car lot! How quickly that view changes when you’ve been driving 3 kids in 3 different directions for 16 years. When S1 turned 16 we happened to have a non-running 3rd car sitting in our garage. We decided to see if it could be returned to working condition for a reasonable cost and if it could we would bite the bullet on insurance and let him use it. It could and we did and he and his brother drove it until the end of S2’s freshman year in college. It then became more expensive to fix than it was worth so we sold it. D turned 16 in the fall after that so we really had no need for a 3rd car until the following summer since both boys were at school most of the year. We did get another 3rd car the following summer once she had her license. We bought a Honda Civic (new was cheaper than a used Accord) and it’s been great for all 3 kids. S2 is 6’2"+ and he loves the car. It fits him fine. We currently pay insurance for all and gas for D since if she wasn’t driving we would be and her car gets much better gas mileage than mine. It was an evolving decision and in the end we decided that we got the 3rd car as much for me as for them. I had gotten used to having my car available for me and not having to be available for “instant transport” requests. Maybe I’m more spoiled than they are!</p>

97

<p>no-but he bought himself a $1500 Neon which is still ticking about 4 years later.</p>

98

<p>I bought a 1993 Civic with 159,000 miles on it for 1600 and it suits me just fine :)</p>

99

<p>no car given to our 16 yr old son or to our 20 year old in a private college. His tuition is a big sacrifice and we made choices we are all learning to live with. would it be different if we had more money…I dunno. we really can’t afford four cars. My husband didn’t have a car till he had finished grad school and then some…took the bus to work. Rode a bike to the office till his mid 20s. We have a third car the boys can drive but it is “ours.” I just haven’t seen the motivation yet for car ownership which I think would include making time for a part time job to pay for upkeep and gas. I am more interested in the 16/17 year olds getting to drive to high school and to get around the routine short trips for learning purposes than I am in providing my 20 year old with a car when he lives somwhere totally doable without one So third car is here more for the high schooler.<br>
20 year old may have landed his first real job this summer and it appears to be in a big city so he can now take the Metro. He is also going abroad next year so I just can’t get interested in assisting re a car till he returns. However, we will likely “help” him buy a car in the near future as he is showing signs of thinking more about the work force and may have viable need for a car in his 21st year. time goes so quickly folks…seems like yesterday a friend gave me a copy of Letting Go when he moved out and it is still pristine and unread. but he is half way finished with college</p>

100

<p>We bought our son a car, summer before senior year. It’s in our name, but it’s his, for all intents and purposes. He buys gas and pays maintenance costs, we, at this point, buy insurance, which we will do until he graduates college.</p>

<p>Where we live, with no public transportation, the car has enabled him to work full time in the summers and part time (freelance) during the school year. He drove our neighbor’s three kids to school during his senior year in high school, and ran family errands when needed. His after school activities in senior year required that he come home at different times, often necessitating more than one trip back and forth. Before he had the car, my schedule revolved around his. </p>

<p>We could have just bought another “family car” and let him drive it without letting it be “his car” I suppose, but we believed that he would take much better care of it if he considered it his. There were a few strings attached- - safe driving at all times, no cruising or unnecessary trips, etc. that were really not needed. Our son is very responsible, and he treats the car better than my H or I would. Clean, shiny, not a scratch, even though it lives outside.</p>

<p>The car is with him at college, and hour and a half from home. It has enabled him to have a lot of independence, and he’s handled it well. I wouldn’t be surprised if he drives that car until he’s married with kids. It will probably be one of those relics that his spouse would love to unload 20 years from now!</p>

<p>Our older daughter, on the other hand, has no car and no need for one. She drove one of ours when she needed it, went to college where a car would be a burden, and will go to graduate school next year in a similar environment, where there is great public transportation.</p>