<p>*** When I was 23 I requested a $200 loan so I could move my family to my new job in Arizona. You refused, saying I was an adult and should be responsible for my own support. When I was 33 I lost my job during a recession. I asked if you would forbear rent a couple months, just until I got another job. You refused, saying I was an adult and should be responsible for my own support. Now you insist that I “owe you” a kidney … even though there’s a clear history of kidney disease in the family. ***</p>
<p>Not everyone has the same wonderful relationship with their parents many on CC do. I’m just say’n … there may be reasons for turning down a parent that have no moral component.</p>
<p>The average life expectancy in the US in 2010 was 76 M & 81 F.<br>
There are real risks to kidney donation in addition to the risks of any operation. Increase incidence of hypertension, etc. In addition there are at least 285 living kidney donors who were listed for a kidney transplant for themselves between 1994 & 2011. So no, the benefits don’t outweigh the risks</p>
<p>DrGoogle, that is true. But what I meant is that the possibility that something bad might happen is not a good enough reason, IMHO, not to do it anyway. </p>
<p>Again, there may be other reasons, but the 5% or 10% chance (I’m making up that statistic) of a negative outcome isn’t enough justification to not go ahead with the transplant, if there’s a 90% or 95% chance of a positive outcome.</p>
<p>A dear friend has an adult child who has lived with severe kidney disease since adolescence. She had a kidney transplant when she was younger (the child, that is), and that kidney failed a couple of years ago. Since then, this young woman has been on the transplant list (around 2 1/2 years, now) and on dialysis. My friend has tried desperately to donate a kidney to her daughter, but is not allowed to do so because of her age. This young woman’s health is, indeed, deteriorating. She weighs 80-something pounds now. She has two young daughters herself (which she was told, by the way, she would never be able to do). </p>
<p>She has resorted to advertising online for possible donors. And some have stepped forward. Her local TV news stations have done features on her. Problem is, unrelated donors have to wait 6 months before they can even be tested. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter. My parents would never let me donate to them. Would I though? Probably not simply because most people in my family don’t live to be that old and they would much rather I save it in case my child or something needed it. Those are THEIR wishes and I respect them.</p>
<p>No, Because I already know I am a match with one of my kids so I assume I am a match with two or more. Just because you are the parent it does not mean you are the best match. At my fathers age I can’t imagine him even asking for such a dangerous surgery. I don’t think he could survive the surgery or the medications needed to sustain him after the surgery.</p>
<p>My dad was diagnosed with stage four kidney disease last winter at the age of 81. He was looking at dialysis in the near future. He also suffered from high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes.
The subject of a transplant never came up as an option. One of my siblings (one known for her need for attention and admiration) told me that she would be happy to donate her kidney. Knowing the circumstances (that the doctors didn’t think it was a realistic option) made it easy for her to make the offer since there was little chance that she would be taken up on it!
After my dad’s diagnoses, I did a lot of research and found out that 80 percent of patients in his age group never make it to dialysis. They usually die of a heart attack or stroke before it becomes necessary. I think because kidney failure is often accompanied by other illnesses such as those my dad suffered from and these alone puts them at greater risk for a fatal event. About two months after my dad was diagnosed, he started behaving strangely. We had him tested for everything and assumed it was a result of the kidney failure (chemical changes in the body can cause behavioral changes).<br>
About two weeks later he died. An hour before his death they did a CT of his lungs and he had a large lung tumor.
I think it’s important to realize that every person can’t be fixed. Older people have complex problems. My dad never knew that he had lung cancer. It was his greatest fear. I wish that he hadn’t known that he had kidney failure, as well. His last months were filled with fear and dread of dialysis. It would have been nice if he could have just slipped away.</p>
<p>My dad has stage 3 kidney disease. That isn’t that bad. A transplant crossed my mind when I first heard “kidney disease”. My dad doesn’t need a transplant.</p>
<p>If he did…
I am not that good a person…</p>
<p>I doubt he would survive the operation…and if he did…I doubt he would have a decent quality of life…</p>
<p>And…he has other issues…EPTR explained it well…</p>
<p>NewHope- I generally do not play what if’s but in my opinion I would not be the only family member offering to donate a kidney to either parent. If I was the one to donate and my child later needed a kidney I believe those same family members would step forward. I also believe we would have quite the fight to get either parent to accept the kidney. The health of the parents also comes into play. Right now my parents are in great health. My father is disappointed because he can no longer do 10 pullups. He only gets 8 or 9. He still runs, bikes and plays raquet ball. If they were in poor health the family would look at things differently I am sure.</p>
<p>No.
I would donate my beating heart to my child, but wouldn’t donate to anyone older than me. (ok, husband excepted). Nobody a generation older…too many chances that there are other factors bubbling up as age increases and the donation would be wasted.</p>
<p>A 50 yo friend of mine has been on dialysis for many years. Her H has already donated a kidney and it failed. Both of her two 20 something sons have offered to donate but since she does not know how she developed her kidney disease she is refusing their offers.</p>
<p>There is no in-home dialysis, that is supposed to be better for the patient, tho it is more complicated and some families and patients can’t do it. My MIL had dialysis for most of the time I knew her. It was very exhausting for her and so hard to get the right fluid balance for her. No one ever spoke of a kidney transplant as she had other health issues as well and we doubt she would have survived the rigors of such a major surgery.</p>
<p>Not everyone is a candidate for home dialysis. Getting onto a transplant list is a long and involved process, with extensive medical testing and preparations sometimes taking a year or more. I have a family member who is on dialysis and it’s been an eye-opener for all of us. We’ve been told that over 90% of Americans who are on a dialysis regimen are diabetic (my family member is not), so if you have family members who are diabetic, please encourage them to follow their doctor’s orders and take care of themselves. </p>
<p>A transplant can be a lifesaver, both figuratively and literally, but it is not uncommon for someone to need another at a later time. Not everyone wants to go the transplant route, for a variety of reasons. Also, the required medications after a transplant are absurdly expensive and if your health insurance does not cover the cost, you will not be eligible for a transplant.</p>