@ucbalumnus We have older children. Many years ago we made a “deal” that if any of them went to an Ivy (and only an Ivy) we would pay. That did NOT include other top schools. Other kids all took advantage of merit offers and went to very good schools and then on to very good graduate programs. S was aware of this which is why we told him you can apply but you need a scholarship to consider this school. May as well come out and say it. He loves Wash U. A great school for many things, but he is engineering which is why I am struggling with paying that much money for a limited program.
@scholarme Still trying to figure it out. He is the kind of kid that can be happy most anywhere. His next top two - Case and UIUC are have better engineering and good music. Trying to discuss the pros and cons and hoping he comes to realize that not only are the engineering opportunities better at the other schools, they overall might be a better choice. I understand your concerns re the right fit, being happy and doing well where they end up. Thus the struggle. In our case the difference is more like $100,000. Not sure that any school is worth that much more than another.