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<p>I think you just clinched the argument against allowing it. :)</p>
<p>hmm … “allowing” my kids to see R rated movies or not is the question … but in a world of multiplexes is that question relevant at all? At all the movies theaters near us the kids buy tickets for Bambi and then go see whatever movie they wish after passing the one ticket taker. So to me the more relevant question is what do we suggest and do the kids follow our guidence … we do not limit movie ratings as long as 1) the sexual content is not too explicit and 2) the violence is not gratuitus (Saving Private Ryan - OK … Grand Threft Auto - Not so much) … and the kids stay pretty close to our guidence (as far as we know).</p>
<p>popcornboy, why the hard and fast rule (nothing R-rated for under age 11)?</p>
<p>Some interesting food for thought here. Years ago I saw Titanic while sitting next to someone’s approximately 5 year old child. I was appalled and irritated. The kid was distracting me, kept getting up because he was bored, and I kept worrying about the impact on the kid.
Our 17 year old usually goes to movies here with her friend who is 16. They let them buy the tickets for R movies, because they know them and know they will behave. They monitor the 13 year old crowd closely, including checking after the movie starts to make sure they haven’t moved.
Last week, DD and her friend went to a larger multiplex. They would not let DD buy her friend’s ticket. An adult in line behind agreed to buy it for them.
Then they were stopped going into the theater. Again, an adult behind them spoke up “these girls are with me.”<br>
They were shocked at how careful the multiplex was about the age thing.</p>
<p>I guess your movieplex example wouldn’t be relevant because I can’t imagine dropping an 11 yr old off at the movies unsupervised.</p>
<p>I agree with the majority that it greatly depends on the movie itself whether I would allow a young teen to watch. Once they get to late high school, I would just make suggestions, but not hard an fast rules because, as others have said, it’s hard to know exactly what they are seeing anyway.</p>
<p>It worked well for us.</p>
<p>Who saw the current Rambo? Who saw Rambo with their kids (under 12)?</p>
<p>I’m only 20, so I probably dont have the experience needed to answer this question, but I dont think I’d take age in to consideration. If I had a 16 year old that was impressionable and prone to imitating violence he saw on screen, I’d say no way. If I had a 12 year old who could hold a conversation with me about significance of the flying paper bag in American beauty as a motif, I’d buy his/her ticket.</p>
<p>I’d also take in to consideration their grasp of theatre etiquette. I cant stand underage kids who cant stay quiet or sit still.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why the fact that your child may defy you, argues against having a rule. My rule is hard and fast, and I’m pretty sure my kids respect my request because they have called me several times to pick them up when their friends (and friends’ parents) were about to show them or take them to an R-rated movie. Even if they were to defy me occasionally, I don’t see why this means I should give up or give them free reign. I would rather that they saw one or two R-rated movies without my permission, than an unlimited number because I didn’t care. What is an under-17 child missing (that they can’t get in a book or after they turn 17) by never seeing an R movie?</p>
<p>Didn’t see the current Rambo with kids or without; have no interest in seeing it whatsoever. The only R-type film I’d be the slightest bit interested in having my 10th grader see is “Tell No One”. Technically she could see it on her own since it’s not rated at all. In reality, it’s over the line in violence for what I’d feel comfortable having her see in a theater setting. Though when I think about it, it was no more violent than an episode of “24” (which my kids and spouse don’t watch).</p>
<p>They’re missing seeing some good movies.</p>
<p>Also – I certainly didn’t watch every R movie with them, but I watched quite a number of R movies with them. That often provided a great opportunity to talk about WHY the movies were rated R, what people might find objectionable about them, what the messages and risks were, etc. Also the straight-on moral and behavioral questions raised by the movies’ plots. It was much easier than trying to get them to talk about their actual lives – much less threatening to them, so they were more free in expressing what they really thought. So . . . as far as I am concerned, good for parenting, too. (And much better than if I had waited until they could drive themselves and buy tickets on their own to let them watch.)</p>
<p>One thing that constantly annoys me: There is obvious discrimination between major studio movies and indie movies as regards ratings. There are indie movies with R ratings where I scratch my head to wonder why every 15-year-old in the country shouldn’t see it, and PG-13 movies so offensive that I wouldn’t mind seeing them banned completely. Part of it is the bizarre double standard between violence and sex. Horrendous violence gets a PG-13 rating. A glimpse of a woman’s chest, or a couple of Anglo-Saxon words, and the movie gets an R.</p>
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<p>If they are that good, they’ll be available on DVD 5 years from now. I don’t view the reasons for the R-rating to be so complex that I need to co-view movies with my kids to explain them. The concepts of sex, violence and profanity are pretty simple for even many kids younger than 10 to understand. I do not think it is productive to put in front of children, mature situations that they do not need to worry about, let alone comprehend (because they will never confront them) until they are older. I will err on the side of encouraging my kids remain innocent kids, at least until they are 17.</p>
<p>I concur, Bay.</p>
<p>I had no hard-and-fast rule. I didn’t object to my kids seeing the gross-sex-jokes sort of R movies (American Pie, etc.) at about 11 or so. Anybody who rides a bus to middle school knows at least as much about the embarrassing aspects of sex as is shown in those sorts of movies.</p>
<p>Really intense R movies are a different matter. I remember accompanying one or the other of my kids to such films as Troy, A History of Violence, Mission Impossible II, and Kingdom of Heaven when the kid was 15 or 16, but I would not want a 12-year-old seeing any of those films.</p>
<p>“Anybody who rides a bus to middle school knows at least as much about the embarrassing aspects of sex as is shown in those sorts of movies.”</p>
<p>As a kid who went to a public school in a not-so-good area, I can tell you that’s definitely not true. I don’t know why parents think that their 11-year-old children are already sex gurus. You would be surprised at how much middle-schoolers DON’T know, and the argument that “They’ve heard/seen it all anyway” is factually incorrect. But to each his own.</p>
<p>Here’s my view, again from the perspective of a high-schooler: My parents always had a “I see it first, then you might be able to” approach to movies. I saw the Matrix, Murder by Numbers, and movies of that sort when I was younger. Nothing tasteless (like American Pie – sorry) or overly violent or sexual. But they always saw the movies first. I think it’s a good system.</p>
<p>I also see the argument, “If they want to see it, they will” crop up frequently in these discussions. My response: If the kids want to see it, they will. But that doesn’t mean the parents have to condone watching filth in their own home.</p>
<p>Nope…no R movies, especially the violent ones. I don’t think they are missing a thing. And I’m pretty picky about TV too. (ldgirl remembers being sent from the room when Law and Order came on…I believe she was in junior high.) I’m of the school that constant exposure to violence is the source of rot in our society.</p>
<p>I don’t know about you, but I would feel awkward and uncomfortable taking my young child to an R rated movie and watching explicit sexual content and violence. I would have this fear that my child would see me as a pervert for watching it.</p>
<p>Just curious, has anyone ever seen a red band trailer playing in the previews at the movie theater?</p>
<p>My parents were never very good with rules; we didn’t have many set-in-stone “rules,” and none of them lasted more than a few weeks anyway. My parents tried to do the “I see it first” thing with PG-13 movies when we were little, but my parents don’t really like movies, so the plan didn’t work out very well. I have a sister two years older than me, and we had essentially the same viewing rules at any one time for the sake of simplicity (which my sister hated–she still talks about how unfair this was). I think I was watching PG-13 movies in the latter half of elementary school. I remember seeing Titanic in theaters when it came out when I had just turned 9 and loving the film. I didn’t get any complexes from seeing it. I was definitely watching rated R movies in high school. I remember I saw Black Hawk Down, which was rated R, when it came out when I was 12 or 13 and I don’t think I saw the rating as a big deal at the time, so I guess I was watching R movies semi-regularly at that point. I had read the book a few months prior to the movie release.</p>
<p>Actually, that brings to mind a question for the stricter parents: Do you limit or monitor what your children read? Why or why not? What do you see as the major differences between the mediums in terms of how they effect children and teens? I often find books to be more disturbing than their counterparts. I think children often gloss over what they don’t understand when seeing it on film, but in a book those words, thoughts, and actions are there in print, incapable of skipping over.</p>
<p>Edit: Come to think of it, I do remember one thing my father said to me when I was little regarding what we were and weren’t allowed to see. He said that we could see any (semi-accurate) historical movie, even if it was graphic. I think he said this around the time when Saving Private Ryan came out, when I was ten. He said he knew some parents who didn’t let their children watch the news because of violence or other potentially disturbing content. I’m not saying I think this is a great rule to go by, but it’s an interesting one (and very typical of my father).</p>
<p>I too relaxed my rule for “Saving Private Ryan”. Luckily my kids didn’t get to watch violence so it did affect them, which is exactly what I wanted. I thought they should feel how horrible war is. But their father took them because I hate violence and couldn’t go watch it myself.</p>
<p>Bay I agree with you. No PG13 or R rated until they were that age, same thing with video games that were teen or mature. I never based my rules on the fact they may break them, but on what values we wanted to instill. Honestly, I would be uncomfortable seeing an R rated movie with my teens. I think hearing things on a school bus is way different than seeing graphic sex or violence right in front of your face. I’m not naive and have had many frank dicussions about sex, violence, friends, and relationships of all kinds, but I don’t need to sit and watch a movie to figure out what to talk about. Did they ever defy the rules probably so, I still wouldn’t change it.</p>