Trust me when I say it’s so much easier for us to give advice on an anonymous message board than to live it ourselves. Some of my own kids are at a stage when they notice, and amplify, all flaws in our parenting, some of which are real, and some of which are imagined or highly selective, exaggerated versions of childhood memories, but that is how they seem to be seeing things at this particular stage.
Parenting is an example of the bittersweetness of life, times a million. Consolation is knowing that their perspective will change in about 30 yrs. Hang in there.