<p>NOOOOOOO! There is a boy in my son’s class, who, at one point, openly admitted he was conceived by a sperm donor. I can’t tell you how much harassment he’s recieved over the years. He is so alienated, that many people are scared he could become one of those kids who brings a gun to school and opens fire.</p>
<p>I would discourage my daughter from becoming an egg donor because of the medical risks. If my son wanted to be a sperm donor, that would not bother me at all. I would not even expect him to mention it to me.</p>
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<p>Huh? I have never heard of anyone being harassed for the way in which they are conceived. This makes zero sense.</p>
<p>I can understand some hesitation about/disinclination to do sperm donation because of wanting to be involved in the lives of children you biologically father, etc. But I’m surprised by the strength of some of the reactions here. How is helping some infertile couple to have a child, a bad thing? And sperm donation doesn’t carry the medical risks of egg donation.</p>
<p>Also, I fail to see how it is the parent’s business what an adult student does with his own sperm. You can’t even make the financial dependence argument on this one - it doesn’t cost the parent money for the student to donate. I would not expect most students who were donating sperm to inform their parents.</p>
<p>[Needle</a> in a haystack](<a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/fashion/29love.html?_r=1&oref=slogin]Needle”>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/fashion/29love.html?_r=1&oref=slogin)</p>
<p>“Huh? I have never heard of anyone being harassed for the way in which they are conceived. This makes zero sense.”</p>
<p>Well, we used to accuse one of my college roommates of being a test-tube baby. He wasn’t one, but somehow this seemed very funny to us and annoying to him. (I guess it was funny to us because it was annoying to him.)</p>
<p>What’s the point of that, audiophile? My comment was directed at how much concern one should have for the possibility that the kid in that story would wind up having children with a biological half-sibling. Sure, there may be two, even three women, somewhere, who are within a few years of his age. Should he be worried about it?</p>
<p>In my community, between the children of lesbian mothers and adopted children, there are tons of kids who don’t know one or both parents. A large number of the adopted kids are ethnic Chinese girls; I suppose they don’t have to worry so much about meeting a half or full brother (unless, of course, he’s from China – but can you say “one in a billion”?). Should the others all be concerned?</p>
<p>JHS,</p>
<p>I apologize, I came to this thread late and was responding to your quote out of context in Roshke’s post and the issue of “knowing the children in question”.</p>
<p>It is an interesting column, isn’t it? It’s another thing for “donors” to consider.</p>
<p>As the article shows, full disclosure and “open” sperm donations (like open adoptions) can help to lessen many of the needle in the haystack concerns. </p>
<p>I liked the fact that the author of this article also saw a counselor before donating his sperm. Seemed pretty responsible to me.</p>
<p>Came home last night to find that the current Oprah magazine has a big article on finding your kids’ donor-siblings through some website. It focuses on 7 families, with 11 kids, all from the same donor, spread out all over the country. Three of the kids have autistic-spectrum diagnoses. There are some great photos – many of the kids look incredibly alike, and the mothers, not.</p>
<p>Apparently, the big sperm banks will only let 25 kids be born for a single donor, so that mitigates some of the incest risk. (And you can find out whether you and your intended had the same father.)</p>
<p>All of the women seem to have chosen this particular donor (based on videotaped interviews and a questionnaire) for similar reasons: he was Puerto Rican and their partners (most were gay) at the time were also Puerto Rican, or their families were, he was good-looking and charming, he was a good amateur musician, and he had a graduate degree in astrophysics (supposedly – not confirmed). One of the weird things about that article is that there’s some guy out there, probably in his early 30s, who could open up the magazine and see 11 kids ages 2-5 who look a hell of a lot like him, some of whom have problems he probably recognizes from his family.</p>
<p>JHS - I, too, read that article and was struck how much these kids looked alike. Now that sperm-donor kids are grown and want to locate their fathers, suddenly the sperm donation ramifications are taking on a different angle other than helping another family have a child. I think it was on the Oprah show where someone mentioned that there is a Donor no. xxx out there who fathered over 60 kids based on the online registry! And yes, the sperm donor bank did not honor the agreement that each donor is supposed to father up to 7 (I think), and then they are supposed to destroy the remaining sperm. Obviously, this donor has not come forward. I wouldn’t either.</p>
<p>^^^ I think there were some episodes of ER that covered that situation (Archie was a sperm donor and had all kinds of kids).</p>
<p>Imagine, getting paid for doing something you were going to do anyway.</p>
<p>Sorry, I couldn’t resist.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot wharfrat - the Moms on here are trying really hard NOT to think about that in regards to their precious baby boys!!</p>
<p>mini,
I don’t think a convert can be a Cohein, so the answer to your question should be “no” :)</p>
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<p>So the question is, are they master of their domain?</p>
<p>Quite frankly, I’m a lot more worried about the sperm my 24-year-old son might be “donating” in the traditional manner. I hope & pray that he is cautious and that he & his partners are using appropriate & effective contraceptives, but its a hard conversation for a mom to have with a young, self-supporting man in his mid-20s. (Back when my kid was in high school, it was a theoretical conversation only… )</p>
<p>Such an interesting discussion. I wouldn’t mind at all if DS decided to donate sperm & in fact, I’m so thankful to the man who was willing to be a sperm donor 20 years ago - I have a wonderful son I never could have had if it wasn’t for the generosity of a sperm donor. As far as I know my son has never been harassed due to having a donor. Even as a very young child when asked about his father, he’d proudly say “I have a donor not a dad.” He’s in contact (though not much) with a younger sibling whose parents used the same donor(the contact came through the sibling registry mentioned earlier in the thread). DS has a donor who was willing to be in contact with the children after they turned 18. As far as I know, my son has not contacted the sperm donor (though he could have and not told me).<br>
I do wonder if DS would be willing to be a sperm donor himself. An interesting question.</p>
<p>I think it is absolutely fine on moral grounds, though they have to realize that they will have children they will most probably know nothing about, and feel okay with it…</p>
<p>Additional concern might be the information collected during preliminary tests. What if some genetic predisposition to some disease is found? Do you now have to inform future health insurers? How can you be absolutely sure that the test results will be kept confidential, and won’t come to haunt you some day?</p>
<p>I would be uncomfortable knowing that my sperm is responsible for creating a child out there somewhere.</p>
<p>I generally support any passive process that helps smart people outnumber stupid people.</p>