Ok thanks. I do get your point, and I totally get where you are coming from as an adult speaking to me. I appreciate that.
I’m not sure you get my point though.
I don’t feel bad about myself and I’m very confident. It’s because I’m self-confident that I can say that I have not achieved anything exceptional in my life so far and I refuse to believe in this being exceptional thing. I don’t believe in it one bit. I don’t think there is any particular reason why I should be admitted over another similar kid-- I’m sure they are special too, everyone is special-- but I will try to make some kind of case for that, and I agree that it is most practical to split part of my mind off while I make that case.
I am I think fishing here for the basis of that case and my original question, kind of too narrow, is that fishing too.
Instead, I would like to start a teenage revolution! But that would be a lot of effort.
Maybe your essay can be about nothing. There was a hit show - one of the all time classics - about nothing. Look it up. It ended a few years b4 you were born and it’s on TV every night, with the actors making millions off re-runs.
In the end, it is a sales contest. There are serious essays. A girl got into Yale (but went to Auburn on a full ride) writing about the most exciting thing to her was waiting for papa john’s pizza delivery (you can google that - Brentwood TN). I’m of the belief that essays likely don’t matter much - other than spelling, grammar, etc. - but it’s likely school by school.
But if you convey if there’s two equal kids but one polished themselves and the other didn’t, then yes, they’ll take the one who polished their accomplishments. On the other hand, maybe you are self deprecating and that’s something that can stand out.
Don’t forget, colleges are assembling a glass. They are not looking for the person who did the most. They are looking for a collection of the most. So if they have 1500 students, they don’t want 1500 musicians.
They want 1500 people that collectively are musicians, or walk dogs, or build play sets, or help refugee families settle.
You play volleyball and probably do something else. They’d love to have someone who plays volleyball.
You’ll be fine.
I don’t know your plans or anything about you - but - I have no doubt you’ll be fine.
Did you know that the line “It’s not a lie if I believe it” comes from that show? Can you guess who said it? I bet you can.
Yeah for re-runs.
I can’t make a volleyball team I’m not good enough. I started late, after switching from dance.
And yes I am specifically here wondering about how to sell myself in the sales contest (while understanding that you have to push that out of your mind while doing it).
Yes my point I was wondering about things like that, whether it’s a bad idea to write about music to Lawrence, since I’m not a major and not auditionable. Why would they want more musicians?
I’m going to give the advice I’ve given before when it comes to essay writing, which is to think of both your audience (those who will read the essay) and think of how the essay helps complete the picture of your entire application.
Or rather, look at your application as a whole piece (as that is how it will be received). Does everything in the application give a clear understanding of who you are? Editing the application is as important as populating the application.
Whatever your essay topic comes to be, ask yourself if it continues to strengthen the rest of the application? Does it make sense with how you are presenting yourself in the rest of your materials? Will it make sense when read in conjunction with the teacher recommendations? Will it make sense with the activities you’ve listed?
Your application will get distilled down by the admission officer to your stats and maybe a sentence or two about you when they evaluate it. Your stats are pretty much locked in at this point. It’s the descriptive sentence(s) you have some control over. What description does your application lead someone to come up with? What description do you want them to come up with?
Cool kid from the coast? Smart girl searching for meaning? Quirky, nerdy musician with a surprise athletic bent? One of many looking to go pre-med? What does the rest of the application already say about you before you write your essay? What will your essay say about you if you write it about your garage band, versus writing it about volleyball, versus writing it about going shopping at Costco? Would each of those topics get to the same idea? Or would you show something different about yourself with those different topics?
You may want to look at the famous “applying sideways” blog from MIT about how to package your application. Right now you seem to think that showing musicality will help at Lawrence, St. Olaf or other music focused schools. That may actually cause you to get lost in the shuffle, as there will be exceptional musicians applying to schools like Lawrence known for their music programs. If, as you say, you aren’t exceptional with music, I might suggest avoiding that when applying to music centric schools.
You may also want to listen to the Yale admission blogs regarding essays. They have los of tips and insight on the topic of essay writing.
Another podcast that might be helpful:
Maybe your exceptionalism is your clear eyed focus, your ‘eye on the prize’ ability shown through how you are looking for schools that will work for your goals and cost constraints - not the school you might think is a ‘dream school’. I am sure there are other things in your life you have used the same focus, the same strong sense of purpose within…maybe that could be your essay.
There is nothing wrong with being an “average excellent kid”! There is much to be said for being well-rounded. Although, I would argue, being #1 in your class is “more than average” excellent, as is the commitment you have shown toward year round volleyball!
I do think your family is getting a little too deep into the analysis of the admissions process. I hope you do not take that the wrong way. I just mean it seems in some posts that you are looking for hooks to “game the system” where you do not need them. You are an excellent writer (which you acknowledge with confidence), but I would put those efforts into competitive merit essays vs some fiction writing contest. Use those skills to communicate what you will bring to a campus and add to the student body.
As you pointed out, this thread is not about the specifics of your application list or search for merit so I won’t go into that. I did post on another thread (I’m not sure if it was yours or your dad’s) how we approached my D’s quest for merit. I’m happy to share more on her process as another average excellent kid (in top 10% of her class, not #1!)
ETA: Several posts came in while I was typing this and multi-tasking. Hopefully it is still relevant for you.
I think I wasn’t clear-- I was having doubts about writing about music to Lawrence for the reasons you cite.
I am looking for the perfect essay to complement everything else and if I change the essay one way, I should change other things and vice versa.
The whole package approach is the approach I’m taking. I’m following, at the moment, Sara Haberson’s Soundbite approach which is more or less the same as what you explained.
It does make me go overboard on the marketing thing and get resentful about the need to be exceptional-- that word is almost as common as “the” in her writing. But I can have these kinks in my reaction while also sticking to main course of action, which is more or less the same as what you outlined.
Thanks. Again, I don’t think there is anything wrong with me being an average excellent kid. I don’t feel down about it at all.
I understand what you are saying about too much effort about “gaming the system” or what I am calling “maximizing my chances.”
There are a whole lot of people out there, and books written, who are doing the same thing.
I am always fishing here for anything that can help me with that. It comes at a little cost of anxiety but I don’t actually believe in any negative thoughts so it’s not the same as with other kids, particularly those maximizing for T20.
I do feel that my financial situation gives me reason to maximize similar to someone going for T20.
I admit that my father and I might be in a little co-something or other, but I, at least, do not buy in nor do I feel that anything significant about who I really am is at stake.
Money is money though.
I don’t remember your story @DramaMama2021 specifically but I do remember you and will look you up again. I think I remember your financials were better than mine but if not, great.
If you know what I mean. Of course while I figure all this out it would be great to read your story again to make it easier, especially if the case is similar.
added: @DramaMama2021 on which thread can I read your story best? thanks!
Any essay topic can work – it all depends on how it is written. It should reflect positive attributes that can’t be found elsewhere in your application. Your initial idea could work if written well and could show you as a person with varied interests (rather than purely a pre-med grind). I think a good idea at this point would be to write a draft/outline of your essay and see how it goes.
And you absolutely do not need to have an arts supplement even if your main essay is about music.
I will however continue to think, even more, until I find an essay topic.
I watched all of Curb Your Enthusiasm with my father although there was a lot of inappropriate for minors material, plus some not woke stuff at the end that was an embarrassment. But a genius!
That led me to George.
And you’re too late-- I have fallen in love with a couple colleges so my only strategy left is to fall in love with more.
Let me be clear on my advice. If what you did with your garage band is YOU, then wrote about it. Essays are supposed to be about the student…and should try to convey who that student is.
Exactly. The essay is just a vehicle for painting a picture of yourself as a person. The point is not to sell yourself on the strength of a particular accomplishment - your accomplishments are already spelled out in the rest of your application. If your experiences with your garage band and etc. are where your personality and passions came into play, and a reader could get a strong sense of who you are by reading about it, then it’s a good topic. People write great essays about completely random, non-accomplisment-related topics. (And conversely, people write terrible essays about big accomplishments.) The right topic is whatever will showcase your unique personality and values; the topic itself doesn’t have to impress or check a box.
I believe the first version of you had a point. Writing about a pandemic challenge is probably common, especially for performers, as that version of you said, and difficult to stand out with.
But there are many versions of you, and the new you says now to go ahead.
This proves that there are many possible versions of a YOU.
Therefore it would be best to choose a version that is of the greatest advantage. I’m not sure music-making in a pandemic me is in every case the best version, because it’s difficult to stand out, and also especially at colleges with a lot of music majors.
However, this has to be compared to the alternative, of which there is not much of one now-- something about the wacky time I’ve had with the biology of the origin of life. Science me.
Or compared to some other alternative I might find later.
Please you don’t have to stand out, be exceptional or be “unique.” Essays mostly have a neutral effect but yes, an outstanding one can help. It concerns me that you are assembling a package in such a way that if you change your essay topic, you have to change other things.
When I read this I just didn’t understand the question. Of course it would be a great essay topic (depending on how you pull it off). Admissions folks know that a creative kid will spread out into other creative areas and add to the campus mix. Plus there is positivity in the midst of dark times which shows resilience. I absolutely think you should mention COVID.
Don’t worry about what other people are writing. Just write authentically for you.
Finally, have you asked about how you might be affected attending a school with a conservatory, when you might want to do some music? Resources, teachers and opportunities may- not always but often- go the BM students,
Lawrence is a cool school but a music department that is active but doesn’t offer a BM might be of benefit. Granted, you may not do music at all, in which case Lawrence is a great choice.
Here’s the questions to ask oneself in a book I’m reading when choosing a topic. I don’t think I need to explain, in the author’s terms, the why behind any of it as we know the motivations as we’ve discussed different sides of the question and sometimes agreed here on some of them. But just because we understand it all, doesn’t make it correct. #3 stands out to me:
"Will this put me in the best possible light?
Is there deep self-awareness built into this topic?
Can anyone else in my community or possibly in the world write about this topic?
If I look back on this essay ten or twenty years from now, will it still reflect who I am?
Is this something that is well-known about me that could come up in any part of my application? "
I really think ideas like this (that you are the only one who can write about a topic) puts too much pressure on students, and makes then tend toward contrived “creativity” versus straightforward authenticity. That is from working with a lot of kids on their essays.
We humans share a lot of experiences and it is fine to write about something that is not unique but is relatable exactly for that reason.
Perhaps with that question she is trying to compensate for something she sees in clients early in the process and this question is a way to get them to focus in a particular way. I would guess that it’s something like “I need more YOU in here”
However for someone like me, it kind of pushes a button that might not be good, as you say.
I love the phrase “COViD garage band”. The common app has added a question about gratitude. Why not turn it into an upbeat personal essay? Something fun and cheerful? Rather than overcoming something?
