<p>My husband are as American as American can be and our kids have always been civilized human beings. In almost 25 years of parenting, we still tell the story of the one and only public temper tantrum ever taken by any of our kids. Our D2 was 2 12 and freaked out in a restaurant in a hotel. We returned to our room where she and H then spent the next 24 hours violently ill with food poisoning. My husband and I are respectful, polite people and our kids are, as well. We modelled courteous behavior and always treated them that way. Courtesy and respect go a long way. French? I don’t think so.</p>
<p>I think some kids are just inherently easier to raise–their parents may erroneously think that it was superior childrearing prowess that made them turn out so well, but they may have turned out nicely under many different scenarios. I think the opposite is also true–some kids will be difficult, no matter what.</p>
<p>I still think some methods are better than others, but one should always approach this with a bit of humility.</p>
<p>“I think some kids are just inherently easier to raise–their parents may erroneously think that it was superior childrearing prowess that made them turn out so well, but they may have turned out nicely under many different scenarios. I think the opposite is also true–some kids will be difficult, no matter what.”</p>
<p>I remember talking to a nice gentleman (on a first date) who had three grown children. He was telling me if he had stopped at one child he would be touring the country giving parenting seminars. But the next two…</p>
<p>I wonder also whether there is a difference between an adult-centered family and a child-centered family. It’s been my observation that kids in so-called “child-centered” environments can be somewhat whiny and bratty, and they drive everyone around them crazy. The ideal should be to integrate your kid into the wider world instead of isolating him or indulging him. Obviously you do not want to put a kid into a situation that is beyond him (i.e. hungry, exhausted toddler in a grocery store). But neither should you have to abdicate all expectations of any peace and order when you have children.</p>
<p>"4. their basic needs are not met (tired, hungry, bored). I’ve seen people bring small children on airplanes without bringing any snacks, toys, or books. "</p>
<p>This is my pet peeve. We traveled a lot starting when our first was a toddler. My job on the plane was to keep everyone around us from even noticing my kids were there. We wrapped little presents to open every hour, brought lots of books to whisper-read to them the whole time, games, snacks, crayons. More than once we got surprisingly nice comments from those near us at the end of the flight. Only one flight-from-hades when toddler had an ear infection we didn’t know about (she’d never had one before).
Now it seems I always sit in front of child of magazine reading parent who doesn’t care a bit if his or her kid kicks the seat and spends 45 minutes putting the tray table up and down as fast and frequently as possible. Officially an old grump I guess…</p>