<p>Well done on identifying the different offenses and assigning punishment for each. This driving rule is strictly enforced in our house, though not so much in a lot of others in our area which is just shameful. My middle child was hit with significant no driving allowed after choosing to ride in a car with a less than 6 month driver. Very painful for both of us as the extra car sat and I was once again doing the hauling (and during a sports season to boot).</p>
<p>We also extend the non family drive time for any lost driving privileges that may occur during the restricted phase. Only the oldest child avoided that penalty.</p>
<p>First offense–one week (it’ll feel like a lifetime to the teen). Follow this up with a lecture about the law, your expectations, and that if it happens again–the punishment will be much more extreme. (oops–I posted after you all ready dished out the punishment).</p>
<p>Well done!! Especially for the other infractions. <stealing a=“” page=“” from=“” your=“” play=“” book=“”> I think 10 days is truly fair. And it IS more or less two weeks because it probably goes over two weekends and that’s when they most want their freedom.</stealing></p>
<p>Good job, DougBetsy,
I’d also suggest that YOU ride along for the next 10 days, and let him be your personal driver. They can never get enough practice. I know you’ve already done hours of this, but especially, as someone else pointed out, this is a time of year when other drivers are at their worst, as are road conditions. This is a great opportunity to help him learn to be safe.</p>
<p>Good for you for doing something. I’ve seen many infractions of this rule lately, as I have a 10 grader. He’s one of the youngest-- he won’t be getting his license until July. I have been warning him sternly and consistently that he cannot ride with other teens to any events, period. So, far, he’s complied (as far as I know). </p>
<p>Recently, one of his friends drove 5 other girls during her “probationary period.” She’d had her license about a month. If she had been caught, she would have lost her license. DS reported that she had her car taken away and was grounded. I thought that was a good lesson for the girl and her friends. </p>
<p>Imagine my surprise when I saw her driving to school 2 days later. I have since seen her
driving a car full of girls. I keep thinking why in the world would the other girls’ parents allow their kids in the car with this girl? And what will the police do if they stop the car and find the driver is breaking the law? Will they let her drive all of the kids home? Or will the parents be called to come get their kids?</p>
<p>I assume “no screens” means no computer and no TV.</p>
<p>My initial reaction was much harsher than most of yours. I would have thought in terms of 6 months at least. (I do not have a driver yet, but that 16th birthday looms. I am wondering whether he is supposed to take driver’s ed at some point?) </p>
<p>DougBetsy, I really like your dissection of the various offenses, each with its own punishment. I’ll keep this in mind for the future.</p>
<p>At our house “no screens” means that if it has a screen, it’s off limits: PC, TV, vid games, iPod, etc. </p>
<p>“Living the Amish Life” is actually the term we use for harsh punishments. (And the words we used last night when handing down the trust/peer pressure punishment to S.) That lumps everything together: screens, phones, social life, extra chores, etc. I itemized the “sentence” for CC readers b/c I didn’t think you’d understand “Amish.”</p>
<p>appreciate how many see this as a matter that deserves consequence. Funny story: our state has same restriction. friends of kids were always violating. My wife, a judge, would always call them on it and the typical response was “oh, its ok Mrs x, my parents gave me permission”. to which my wife always responded " I didn’t know your parents had the power to override state law" a blank stare usually followed…(ps. tell your young drivers about their potential liability if in an accident while violating state law))</p>
<p>I would also have the talk about how you don’t care what other parents do. I was shocked to find out when my son was 16 that he was the only kid who didn’t drive other passengers. Everyone did it and most of the parents didn’t care – in fact some had their kids driving siblings, etc. So I kept reminding him that what other parents allow has no bearing on what we allow, etc. There is enormous pressure to drive kids places especially in my car-dependent part of the country.</p>
<p>Among other tragedies, there have been 4 teens killed in 2 separate accidents in the Chicago area in the last three days. Both accidents were the result of inexperienced drivers and icy conditions; both times the passenger as well as the driver were killed.</p>
<p>Those rules about “no passengers” were designed to make your teen a more focused driver. Good for you for backing up the law. Our state has a similar rule; when my middle son was a new driver, he and his friends went places “by caravan” because they could not share their cars. Even so, every one of those kids had a traffic ticket or accident by the time they were seniors. Don’t let up.</p>
<p>DB - I don’t know what the laws are in Maryland, but when D wanted to “just drive down the road” on her permit by herself, I sat her down and did the math with her…most if not all insurance policies wouldn’t take too kindly to an accident involving someone driving illegally (regardless of whether said driver was at fault), and if you were liable to pay for vehicle repair/replacement or medical bills, the college fund would dry up pretty quickly…</p>
<p>I’d ask a lot of why type questions. The only time my son did this was giving a drunk friend a ride home so that he would not drive. He tried to call me to come get the friend but before the call completed, the friend was getting behind the wheel and he wanted to stop him from driving.</p>
<p>Our rule was 2 weeks for the first offense, 4 weeks for #2, loss of permit for #3. Transportation in the meantime was to and from school only - e.g. no mall and no movies etc. </p>
<p>In the case above, I gave him a suspended sentence - no punishment but a skip to phase 2 if he did it again.</p>
<p>While I didn’t think of it, extending the time where they could not give anyone else a ride for the same time period makes sense.</p>
<p>When my son did the same thing (a couple months into the 6 months “no passengers” rule), we took the keys for 2 weeks. We didn’t impose the “no screen time,” but that sounds like a good idea seeing as the offense happened 4 DAYS after getting the license - which says he didn’t take the rule very seriously.</p>
<p>D has had her license for 3 months, her BF has had his for 4. The law here is no teen passengers for 6 months. It’s a pain for them to meet at the movies, follow each other to a football game, etc, but we’re not bending because it’s the law. On a more philosophical note, I prefer NJ’s law - only ONE teen passenger for the first year. D and BF went to his friend’s house, BF knew the way and D didn’t so she had to follow him. Another time, D and 3 girlfriends each took a car (a total of 4 cars! Hello, global warming!) to go to an event a few towns away. The lead car and 3rd car had GPS systems, 2nd and 4th were following. In both cases I’d have felt better with 2 kids per car, one to drive and one to navigate/read the GPS or directions. Not to mention the gas costs! But the law is no passengers for 6 months, so we enforce it.</p>
<p>I think 2 weeks would be enough to make an impression on a new driver who has been waiting impatiently to get their license and now has only had it 4 days. Also, since it is against the law, what would have been the insurance consequences had he been involved in an accident? Might it have invalidated your insurance? </p>
<p>When my kids got their licenses, our local agent scheduled a meeting with each of them where he gave them all sorts of information that even I didn’t know, about what to do in case of an accident, the driver’s liability, etc. It had much more weight coming from him than it would have from a parent. Maybe your local agent would be willing to clue your kid in on potential consequences of doing illegal things like this (which probably to his mind seem unimportant).</p>
<p>In our state, a kid who drives others before they are allowed to do so loses their license until 18. I hear about kids doing it all the time, but our kids know that we follow those rules and they had better do so, too.</p>
<p>We very simply established the norms of behavior at the point our kids were licensed. They matched the letter of the law. If there was a violation of “our” rules it was in fact a technical DMV violation, even though they may not have been “caught” or ticketed.</p>
<p>As long as it was our $ paying insurance, and our vehicles, I told each to expect 6 months additional beyond what the law mandated to “cover” the violation of trust issues.</p>
<p>But they knew all this upfront when they got the “you have your license and you now have the means to kill” lecture. Negotiation was simply not an option.</p>
<p>If I was sure that there was no confusion as to the law, I think I would have been stricter than some of the parents here. Probably along the lines of what the OP originally had in mind to start with. The fact that a friend’s child was killed the day she got her license while driving with a friend no doubt has something to do with how I feel on this subject.</p>