<p>are you that special?</p>
<p>Wouldn’t it be nice to fall into a coma and wake up 10 days from now?</p>
<p>I’ve never been this anxious before.</p>
<p>I’m a self-proclaimed narcissist.</p>
<p>oh man richard, i so agree. i wish i could just pass out now and just find out. the thing is, ive kind of come to a comfortable place. i realize that i’m more anxious to know than i am about the decision itself. because even if i don;t get in, ill just send out my other apps, and finally move on with life, haha. i know ill get in SOMEWHERE, so there’s no use in panicking too much,</p>
<p>I probably will fall into a coma studying endlessly for all these semester exams. Anyway, I too flip-flop between thinking i’m sooo in and thinking, who the hell am I kidding? When I’m thinking that they look for reasons to defer/reject you, that’s when my pessimistic mood begins, but when I think they look for reasons to accept you (I heard they’re trying to get more science people :)), that’s when I think damn, i’m in.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think, like, I have suuuuch a unique application, it will have to stand out, I’ve done so many cool things, etc etc etc…then I think, hm, I have no national awards, no test scores beyond the SATs and SAT IIs, a faaaaaaairly weak science background…it’s just…eeeyashch. :(</p>
<p>Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to stay as busy as possible. Whenever I’m alone with my thoughts, I also start thinking how amazing/awful my Yale chances are.</p>
<p>I know that eeeeeeeeveryone will be calling me on the 16th to ask if I made it. Everyone. It will be sooo depressing if I’m rejected. A deferral I could handle, but a rejection so close to Christmas…:(</p>
<p>I’m just sick of waiting. I know the next ten days will go pretty quickly, I’ll be busy (and joy, I’m getting sick. <3 tomorrow being a sick/mental health day) and it’ll come, but I just want to know. NOW. And then if I don’t get in, I won’t want to do any work for the rest of the time before break.</p>
<p>Not like I want to do work as it is. I have so little concentration right now it’s not safe. Good thing I don’t drive or operate heavy machinery.</p>
<p>gavroche, I know the feeling…it wouldn’t be so bad if it were a private thing, but everyyyyone knows I applied to Yale and it will be terrible to have to tell everyone I was rejected.</p>
<p>a severe lack of concentration and science research involving toxic chemicals do not mix well</p>
<p>Yeah, totally, jli. My family has such high standards for me, they just can’t fathom that I will likely be rejected. It’s soooo hard. I wish they had kept their noses out of things, but of course they had to all tell EVERYONE, all my aunts, uncles, third cousins, family friends, previous teachers…eveeeeeeeeeeryone where I have applied. It’s maddening. :-/</p>
<p>thats why my research doesnt involve toxic chemicals.</p>
<p>btw, gavroche I take it you are a Les Mis fan?</p>
<p>I’ve never seen the play. (I am going to see it in February, though!!!) I LOVE the book. It is the most beautiful book I have ever read. It’s just…I don’t know. Whenever I try to talk about the book I always just really sort of choke up. I feel very emotional about it. It’s the most amazing book I’ve ever read, though, and affected me very, very, very strongly. Yeah. </p>
<p>And I loooooved Gavroche.</p>
<p>We should distract ourselves somehow. Let’s spend the next ten days calculating the decimals of pi without a calculator! Or methodically place the hairs on our heads to pressure certain regions and optimize brain function. Does anyone know a good hypnotist? Ooh, we could put ourselves through severe trauma, and then our psyches will remove themselves from the present–like people who have induced split personality.</p>
<p>Or we could do something productive, like hold a cupcake bake-a-thon for children in North Korea. Dang, that’s a serious situation, though. But if we get deferred, we can submit papers detailing our successful ventures of the like. Who’s with me?</p>
<p>WOO bake sale for the poor.</p>
<p>or better yet, for Hurricane Katrina</p>
<p>haha</p>
<p>if you were all Yale material, you would all be very busy managing something, or doing research…</p>
<p>so, if you are bored, consider yourself out.</p>
<p>Na, amnesia. No such thing as boredom in this life. Right now I am busily avoiding flute/Physics/Dartmouth peer evaluation for a friend/my eating disorder research for YES/looking into the internships available for a future science writer.</p>
<p>There’s always room for cake, though. Especially if it helps someone. Now I’m seriously thinking about it. Hmmm.</p>
<p>haha.</p>
<p>right now im bored from editing my research paper for the n teenth time.</p>
<p>and avoiding Ap government work.</p>