<p>I wonder whether the counselor told her not to focus on the “brand name” because he knew that she was “not crazy about Harvard” and wanted to encourage her not to be swayed by people’s comments?</p>
<p>When a kid gets into an Ivy, everyone seems to assume that “OF COURSE” he/she will go there. This drove my kid nuts. (He liked Yale very much and is thriving there, but absolutely considered his other options.)</p>
<p>I agree with bookmobile. Everyone thought as soon as we got the Yale acceptance, D would be committing. She had been set on going to one of the other schools because we all knew the low acceptance rate. She needed some time to process and make sure that she still wanted to go to Yale. It is hard because the Ivy decisions come out last. You have to get prepared for a no. It takes some time to adjust to the yes. She told everyone she would decide after Bull Dog Days just to keep them off her back. </p>
<p>It is easy for those outside to say what they would do, but they really don’t know all that is going on inside the student’s head. I would suggest she go to the Harvard admitted students days. Then she will have a better picture of what it would be like to go there. There are so many stereotypes about the school, but there are many different individuals there. She may just find “her people.” If not, then she will have made a decision with all the information she could possibly gather. (I reread your post and saw that she already talked to friends there. If she goes to visit, she could stay with a student host that she does not know and get their perspective.)</p>
<p>This is such a stressful time! I would also give her a few days off from the college discussions. Let her choices gel. Let her be distracted by other things and come back to the discussion with a fresh perspective. I wish you both all the best!</p>
<p>I agree with all of the above and with a kid also in boarding school, understand where you’re coming from in terms of the “don’t buy the name brand” thing. I have a couple thoughts. First, I suspect that the college counselors sometimes hear stuff that we do not because they are more neutral parties–so it’s possible that your kid really did not feel like Harvard was a good fit (fwiw, that was my kid’s reaction as well–based on overnight visits and talking to friends at the different schools–there really is a big difference between Harvard and Yale or Duke or Dartmouth).</p>
<p>I also hear you about financial aid and agree that it would be ridiculous to pay twice as much to go to a school other than Harvard, no matter the fit. However, when we were touring Dartmouth, and when my kid was getting fa pre-reads, I’m almost certain they said that they would match the FA offers of other Ivies (meaning HYP)–and not just for athletes. Have you explored that possibility? That may be something the counselor is aware of and perhaps communicating with your daughter without it getting back to you. </p>
<p>I found the parent programming worthwhile. If you have time you can check out some things on your own such as the Yale Art Gallery and Yale Center for British Art. </p>
<p>So for anyone who’s done this before, when does Yale tell parents about options for Commencement housing in the colleges? We’re class of 2015, and my daughter (amazingly enough) texted me to tell me I ought to start thinking about things! I’m tentatively planning on staying in Milford, but am open to the colleges if we could get a ground floor room, or if there is an elevator (handicapped relative). </p>
<p>They begin sending this info in November. We signed up and paid for housing in the college then ($157/person for 3 days lodging), but were able to add another family member in March. You can request a ground floor room for an elderly or handicapped guest, but only one other member of your party is guaranteed to be in the same suite with them.</p>
<p>Thanks for the info-- the restriction to one member of the family to the “favored room” is fair and works for us–</p>
<p>Bulldog Days: I went with DS. After parting ways at Phelps Gate, I didn’t see him again until we left (except for one brief “I acknowledge that I know you” nod when we passed each other - he in a small group - on Elm St.) I went to many of the parent programs, but I still had a fair amount of free time. I went to the library, art museum, shopped. We fortunately had lovely spring weather that year, so I strolled around a lot. </p>
<p>Graduation: DS will be graduating in May. These last years have truly flown by and I don’t know about him, but I am feeling very sad about him leaving New Haven! Well, happy about the ending of tuition payments to Yale though 
We got info from Yale - I think late last semester - about housing on campus for graduation weekend. DH was not interested in staying in dorms; also we wanted the convenience of being able to walk to events and not worry about traffic and parking. We booked the Courtyard on Whalley Ave. last June, as soon as they began taking reservations. 3 night minimum and they jack the price up triple of normal, and of course, paid in advance and non-refundable (I asked my son about 20 times “Are you absolutely certain that you are graduating in May???” ). So frugal me swallowed hard and plunked down the $1600. I justified it in my mind to look at it as I would a vacation and that I can’t think of a better vacation to spend my money on than watching my firstborn graduate from his dream school. </p>
<p>Thank you everyone for the information regarding Bulldog Days. I am now fully prepared to spend a lot of time walking around on my own but I think I’ll enjoy it. Regarding housing: I thought freshman were assigned to one residential college all four years but I remember reading on one of the threads that they moved after freshman year? On an unrelated topic, I called The Study and Omni to make reservations for move in day and they were already fully booked! I did find something at the New Haven Hotel and booked it- non refundable and a bit pricey. Congratulations to all of the parents of graduating seniors- huge accomplishment! You must all be very proud- and a little sad.</p>
<p>Most freshmen live on Old Campus and are housed with other freshman from their residential college. Then they move into the residential college sophomore year. Old Campus has freshman housing for all colleges except Silliman and Timothy Dwight.</p>
<p>Many of us stay in Milford to avoid the price gouging of the New Haven hotels during the busy times. We stayed there for Family Weekend last year, and it worked well. We did not stay for move in weekend. We watched the Freshman convocation online from the comfort of our air conditioned home on Saturday morning.</p>
<p>I keep reading posts from people suggesting that parents contact Yale to match the Financial Offer that School X made. My D (2015) was accepted to Harvard and Yale and we sent the letter. Yale matched Harvard and we were so excited however it was only for Freshman Year. When Sophomore year roled around we were back to the original FA award. This was not a reflection of any financial changes on our part, our two older children went/go to Harvard and the FA package was much better. In other words, Yale may match your FA award for Freshman year but once they have you…they have you. That being said, Yale was the place for our D and I am so glad she chose it over Harvard for her it was the right choice but if you are choosing based upon FA remember the matching will only be for Freshman Year.</p>
<p>I was referring to Dartmouth matching Harvard’s aid, not Yale. I didn’t think Yale matched aid. EAOs experience is worth noting though. I’d definitely ask if they were committing to that level for four years, and get the response in writing. </p>
<p>I posted this on another thread this morning, but it bears repeating</p>
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<p>I have heard of parents that felt like they were fooled when aid changed after freshman year (not at Yale though) Never hurts to get it in writing.
I also know colleges treat other children differently too. Yale took some consideration of my son in grad school (living home) but Brown told us they wouldn’t at all. It did help with aid and might not be a deal-breaker, but another question on my list back then. You can never be too thorough. </p>
<p>Recent NYT article: <a href=“Appealing to a College for More Financial Aid - The New York Times”>http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/05/your-money/paying-for-college/for-many-families-college-financial-aid-packages-are-worth-an-appeal.html</a></p>
<p>Hi there all not sure if doing this the right way - i wanted to introduce a “new topic” but I didn’t want to confuse others! </p>
<p>But i wanted to know how many of you have experienced after the “Hi where is you child going to go to school?” the reaction after you tell them… that is equivalent to the scene in Jaws where the camera pulls back from Roy Schneider on the beach after he sees the blood from the shark eating the guy??" sigh…</p>
<p>Every one of us, students and parents. You just gotta grow a thick skin. It’s people projecting their own insecurities or biases against you and your otherwise neutral information. One day both you and your kid will start saying “… goes to school ‘out east’” or “… goes to school in CT” The fact is many people react as if an eye stalk just sprouted from your forehead if you utter the word “Yale”. It’s just how it goes. Quickly smile and nod; say “thanks for asking” and shift the subject…</p>
<p>Thanks! I howled out loud wth laughter about the 'sprouting" reading your post! </p>
<p>@oldladyandmom: I dug up this thread from 2012, with some counter arguements to the “in CT” dodge-phrase:</p>
<p><a href=“Reactions to attending Yale - #2 by T26E4 - Yale University - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/14469899</a></p>
<p>@oldladyandmom , I posted this on another thread, but I learned during the application process to be wary:
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<p>Now that he’s in, I try to avoid the topic and most parents already know who in our town got in where, but since DS is at a private school in another town, some of them don’t know. I especially don’t like the looks when a parent had been hoping that my son got into a “lesser” school than theirs, and you can see the disappointment that it turned out differently. </p>
<p>To be honest, maybe college plans should be added to religion, sex, and politics as topics to be avoided in polite society.</p>