Loud! I guess that’s my nature. When the NCAA tournament is on, my cube has a ten-foot Michigan banner on it. When my son was accepted to Yale, I lit half a dozen aerial fireworks off in the street. Then the whole neighborhood knew! Yale is a good fit for my son, and I’m thrilled for him. The crowd he hangs with is supportive, caring and challenging. The school is nurturing. I don’t have a sticker on my truck because my truck is a little ragged. I’m afraid that folks would think less of Yale, than think more of me if I put one on.
IxnayBob, that’s too bad about other parents being jealous about your family’s good fortune, though jealousy is of course a pretty frequent human emotion.
I l like the point in a post above about residential college gear being a more subtle way to show school pride.
We did downplay our daughter’s impending (at that time) attendance at Yale at her high school graduation party - no Yale pennants in the house etc. That wasn’t about Yale specifically, but some of her friends didn’t get into their first choice colleges and so the whole topic of college was a bit of a sore spot for some.
Who knows why some kids get into these kinds of schools and others don’t, so being thankful and proud but also humble seems like the right response.
For many Ivy grads, there’re code phrases: “I went to school in Cambridge/Boston” or “I went to school out East” or “I went to school in Connecticut” or “Hanover/New Hampshire” or “New Jersey” without subsequent elaboration.
If overheard by someone else in the know, a subtle head nod indicates kinship and understanding.
Apocryphal story: two folks on a subway train. One is overheard saying he went to school in Cambridge. A knowing listener replies: “What House?”
Some people at my work know about my sticker and just find it amusing and laugh - you’d have to see my car to get the joke. They know I’m an athlete parent that spent years going around helping the team and understand - 2 kids from work also ended being recruited in the same sport and I was able to help explain everything.
Some people for their kid instead bought the fancy car license plate holder (Stanford and University of California Berkeley for eg) much more classy looking than the sticker! anyway my car, though, also has DD’s undergrad university and I’m trying to get one from her for her professional school university but it’s not a priority for her - really DD aw c’mon?? I have swag from places we did on UVs but only use the stuff in summer when gardening type thing.
In respect of mugs one of my chums said I could not use the really nice looking Yale mug with all the residential school crests because it was over the top. duly noted. So I use the very discrete blue mug that just has in teeny tiny print the school’s crest. The other side of the mug has nothing on it.
So when do new students find out about assigned colleges? In summer?
Not to start a storm of opinions…oh why not…
Yes, it was June 24 this year.
Yikes! Rest of my post got cut off.
Was curious what’s the attributes/vibes of each college? Son looked on line and they seem very different…
Each one is the best of them all. That is surprisingly true for the kids who are in one or another, even though it sounds impossible.
The Yale Daily News orientation issue has a pretty good summary of the colleges, if that’s available online.
Unless you’re an alum it’s the luck of the draw which college your kid is assigned to. Alumni kids can choose their mom or dad’s college if they want to.
It seems like almost all are happy with their college though and quickly develop loyalty to the college.
Okay, @T26E4 's post finally did it for me. Sticker is on the car.
Again, from the outside–I’m a proud UVA grad–here’s a double-weird kind of elitism/arrogance signaled when people won’t say–if that silent nod/house stuff really goes on, I’m even more put off. If I ever catch one of my kids doing that, I will pop him over the head.
I don’t think that my kids deserve to be at Yale more than thousands of other equally bright, hard-working, talented kids; within that pool, as I see it, mine won the you’ve-got-the-thing-we-want lottery. It’s nothing to be ashamed of OR particularly braggy about–and little bit of reaction from others is a minimal price to pay for their tremendous privilege and good fortune.
@classicalmama … I’m with you. Shame on anyone who tries to sully his good fortune.
@classicalmama: Whenever I meet people for the first time and I tell them where my kids went to college, I preface it with “My kids were extremely lucky and won the Admissions lottery.” That eases the shock and awe before I say HY.
Well as one friend of mine (with a child at an Ivy) said recently. " You know what makes you look like a real jerk. Thinking other people give a damn where your kid goes to college". Kind of puts it in perspective.
^ I get this – often, it’s just meant to be the seed for casual conversation. But when the unexpected “Yale” or “Harvard” or something else gets dropped, awkwardness ensues. I like Gibby’s suggestion the best:
[quote]
Whenever I meet people for the first time and I tell them where my kids went to college, I preface it with “My kids were extremely lucky and won the Admissions lottery.” That eases the shock and awe before I say HY.
^ I think it’s a syndrome not unrelated to one about money. My parents immigrated to the US late in life, didn’t speak English, and scrubbed the stairs in a tenement for a rent reduction. My wife and I inherited nothing from our parents (other than smarts and grit), but legally and through hard work entered the 1%. We should have nothing to be ashamed of, but there are still certain groups (I’m thinking of you, hockey parents) who will act as though things were handed to us.
It’s with those groups that I mumble about being lucky to have been interested in software development at a good time, mumble mumble mumble. It is good to be humble and know that many people equally smart and equally hard-working didn’t have luck on their side, but I resent being made to feel sheepish about it.
Funny how it’s the same people who can’t be happy for DS’s Yale admission and our financial comfort.
@wchatar2, nobody should give a damn about where my kid goes to college, and if they’re friends they should be happy for him, but there are people who are jerks. I now don’t bring it up unless asked, but if I am asked, I reply in a clear, normal volume, voice.
It’s too late to edit, but I really shouldn’t post when my blood sugar is low and I’m feeling beleaguered. I stand by the facts as posted, but I see on re-reading that I lacked grace in my post. Sorry.
@skieurope, thanks for the word substitution 
@IxnayBob … right on. Don’t keep your light under a basket. Thanks for the post.
Interesting discussion—I think when your kid gets into the very top schools and you have friends (even what you thought were good friends) whose kids are in the same grade (or even a grade above or below), there is jealousy. On some level they’re happy for you, but on another they’re comparing their kid and his or her college admissions results (or potential results) and feeling jealous. It’s understandable but frustrating. In our experience, the only people who are really genuinely happy for you are those who don’t have kids anywhere close to the same age. We don’t have a school bumper sticker on our car, and the only place we really feel comfortable wearing our parent gear is at the school’s events. Our son, though, wears his T-shirts and sweatshirts anywhere, and I’m sure if he had a car he’d have a bumper sticker or license plate holder. He’s proud of having gotten in and of being a student there, and he saved all the logo wear from the other schools he got into too, though he doesn’t wear it. (I do sometimes—at home!)
So I’m still of the mindset where I’m amazed my kid is going to Yale! Not that he’s unworthy (he’s a pretty smart kid)…but it feels surreal. I constantly feel like we may get a letter from admissions saying they made a mistake. Is this normal?
Mind you he’s pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Not in a pretentious way but in a “I’m good to deal with this” way…
Parents of Yale kids: what would you say was the biggest challenge/adjustment for your kiddos?
Talking about jealousy, a few years ago, the daughter of a relative of mine went to Princeton. I was not jealous at all, but did feel a bit of pressure. Now DS is at Yale, which gave me some relief. I don’t know if other Yale parents have similar experience wrt relatives/close friends.