Your responses put my mind at ease as my son is a complete slob (this said lovingly of course) I just hope he is matched with a roommate who shares his high personal standards 
My son said he thought he saw a tumbleweed rolling down the hall of his suite. :))
RE: Bumper stickers and awkward conversation regarding acceptance. I have TWO Yale stickers on my car. One that they gave us in the welcome and one that says Yale Cheer leading. I also have my son’s college on the car as well. He is where he wanted to go and I am very proud of him for that as well.
When my daughter was told by one of her classmates that nobody would ask her to prom because she was “that girl going to Yale”, I responded by a quick drive to Yale’s campus to buy her even more swag. I am in CT and about 25% of her grad class are attending UCONN. I can’t do anything about that for them. They made different choices in their lives along the way. They are where they are meant to be because of the people they all chose to become. Yes, it a blessing and gift that she was accepted to Yale but she was also accepted to all of the schools she applied to (except H because they wait listed her and she told them no thanks).
Anyone that knows anything will know that Yale is a sliding scale school so we just explain that to those with the “good luck paying for that” comments. She comes from a humble home and a public school. I wear my Yale gear everywhere I can to show everyone here that its possible and that we have a great school system. She worked incredibly hard to become the young lady she is and anyone that looks at her for anything less than that is not worth our time.
@Memmsmom With all respect, you sound as if this is a meritocracy, it simply isnt. My son worked harder than I can really fathom in high school but so did a lot of kids who went to the moral equivalent of UConn that I know. My son worked hard because it is who he is, not to get into Yale or anywhere else for that matter. For better or worse Yale is a “name drop” school, thats just reality, especially to those students and parents who are going to what are perceived as lesser schools. I think that each of us come to a comfortable place with that in different ways. Honestly I would trade my ability to put a sticker on my car for the ability to join the Yale Club in a flash.
Some of the swag we ordered was delivered. My kid woke up this morning and proudly stepped out with his Yale sweatshirt. I almost questioned if he should wear it to school (they have dress code but seniors are allowed to wear Ts or sweatshirts from their intended colleges) but then caught myself. If he were attending any of the UCs I’d purchase swag and be proud and wouldn’t hesitate to let him out the door. I instantly felt wrong at my hesitation and told him he looked handsome.
Yes it’s a privilege for him to be going there. Many worthy kids are not. But he worked hard and deserves to enjoy what every other kid does…
It was an unwritten rule at DS’s HS that no college clothing should be worn until after RD decisions had been sent, out of consideration for those who did not know or whose early rounds didn’t work out the way they had hoped. I’m not saying that it’s a good or bad rule (it institutionalizes the thinking that it’s the end of the world if you don’t get into your dream school vs it’s considerate), but I think almost everyone held to it.
DS wore, at his strict uniform dress code school, swag from older sister’s university and never got questioned about it - He was known as Mr. “University in Canada” (substitute name here) we thought it was funny his school kinda didn’t know how to deal with it! He never wore Y swag though after he was admitted he continued to wear sister’s U
@lxnaybob that seems a good unofficial school policy. Not sure it would be followed at my son’s school. The guys get really excited to represent early on and many students apply EA/ED.
And most aren’t strutting around…they genuinely get excited for each other irregardless of which school they plan on attending.
My kid as just as likely to wear his girlfriend’s team jacket…from the neighboring HS which is his school’s rival…
Should also add son’s school is very athletically inclined so a Yale sweatshirt would garner less admiration…awe as a Duke…Notre Dame etc…
@oldladyandmom, that reminds me of an article Malcolm Gladwell had in the New Yorker a while back, where one point he made was that in his view, the whole topic of what college someone goes to is just not as big of a deal in Canada as it can be in the US. Or at least that’s how he saw it when he was a young man (I believe he’s in his 50s now).
I don’t know how representative his views are, and there’s probably some mix of generational as well as country differences at play (many elite US colleges admit in the single digits now, compared to 20 percent or more when current parents were students), but still it’s an interesting article.
My son wore his Yale gear to school last year after getting in early until he (with great difficulty) finally decided to go to Stanford. I don’t think wearing the gear made much of a difference in terms of the other kids—as soon as anyone got in anywhere great, everyone knew. All it took was mentioning it to one or two other people, and word got around remarkably fast.
As for whether college admissions is a meritocracy, I think in some ways it is, but in others it’s a real crapshoot. Yes, my son did work incredibly hard for four years (and beyond) and definitely deserved what he got, but things certainly could have worked out differently. For the most part, you can’t choose which teachers you get, who your advisor is, whether you’ll get a “big break” in one activity or another, etc. (not to mention where you happened to be born, who your parents are, and what opportunities were made available to you growing up). There’s a huge amount of luck involved, so though we weren’t surprised by our son’s admissions results, we were also very grateful for them.
Planner, I agree with you that there’s a substantial unpredictable element in admissions to these kinds of schools, as it seems like there must be when the admission rates are so low.
I guess there may be a few students who are so outstanding that they’re sure things, but my sense is that for the most part once students are in the pool of strong, plausible candidates, it’s hard to say why one student gets in and another doesn’t. So being thankful for the good fortune is right, I think.
I suspect it was more predicable 20 years back, when admission rates were more like 20-25%.
I proudly drive a car with a “Mom Yale University”!!
@canoe2015 It was definitely a bit more predictable 20 years ago! I think the number of students for whom admission is virtually a certainty is very, very small, and for the rest of the many truly outstanding candidates, there’s a huge flukiness to the decisions—that’s what makes it so hard to deal with. Students (and their parents) can’t help thinking that because student X got into Yale (or wherever), on some level student X is somehow better or more deserving than student Y, who didn’t. (I’m guessing admissions committees also feel there’s a certain flukiness to admitted students’ decisions!) Ultimately, though, most students end up happy with their choices and take advantage of whatever opportunities their schools offer.
Change of topic if it is ok, but my wife and I need some help on visiting our daughter for the Yale v Harvard football game. My daughter is a sophomore so she has no experience with the Yale v Harvard game at home to provide any insight. Some questions we have are:
-Do people/parents tailgate somewhere and, if so, where?
-Do we need to bring our tailgate stuff or is there somewhere we can join in with others?
-What is the game day atmosphere?
-Is there parking (or is the tailgating) near the stadium?
-Is alcohol allowed at tailgating?
-If we do not park near the stadium, is there public transportation or would we take a cab?
-How do the Yale fans dress?
-Are there game day events/traditions around campus on Friday and Saturday that we will want to attend?
-Any other advice?
Any help that can be provided would be appreciated. We regularly attend football games as part of the “largest crowd to watch a football game anywhere in America” and we have attended enough football games on various Big Ten campuses to know each college has its unique traditions and game day atmosphere. Because this is our first game at the Yale Bowl, we need some help. We are excited to watch “The Game” in New Haven (and compare it to “The Game” the following Saturday for UM v OSU).
Thanks in advance.
The Yale Bowl, where the game is held every other year, has a field for tailgating that is within walking distance from the stadium. It’s relatively close, as the field is directly outside of the stadium. You can bring your own tailgating supplies or join in with others, whatever works for you. Alcohol is allowed at tailgating. The game day atmosphere is hectic; we’re playing Harvard! All Yale fans wear their Yale apparel.
Here is the Yale ticket office tailgating info link, which includes parking maps:
https://athletics.ticketing.yale.edu/Online/default.asp?BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::permalink=15fbtgr
For the Harvard game, you must buy a parking pass in advance if you want to park at the stadium, You should do this right now (hopefully it is not already too late). You should also buy tickets for the game as far in advance as possible, although I don’t think the Bowl actually sells out even for The Game–but you might end up with pretty bad seats. The night before, there is a fun joint Yale/Harvard Glee Club concert you can attend (my daughter will be singing in it, so I’ll be there). As far as I know, there’s really no place to join with other tailgaters if you haven’t organized that in advance. There are tents for various groups (like Yale alumni, for example), but they aren’t open to everybody. The students will be doing their own thing, so I wouldn’t count on your daughter joining you to tailgate. You can buy food inside the stadium, of course. Wear your Yale gear–warm Yale gear, most likely. Enjoy the YPMB–they will play “Bright College Years” after the game, win or lose.
If you plan to eat in a restaurant on Friday night, get a reservation now. On Saturday, most people will get out of town for break after the Game.
Thanks to everyone for input on The Game. We have tickets, so that is not a concern. My daughter mentioned the Y/H Glee Club concert and I think we are going. Tailgating at every college is different, so it sounds like we are on our own or shut out–which is good to know in advance. It is starting to sound like you may be right on my daughter’s availability. I am thinking to myself maybe I should just stop on the trip East in State College to watch UM v PSU (both my wife and I are UM grads), but I am sure my wife will disagree (and, me to, as we have not seen our daughter since August). We will have on our Yale gear and do our best to cheer the Bulldogs on to a victory!
Yale parents: what is the take on this Halloween costume email debacle?
I’ve read both emails and don’t find anything particularly alarming about either one of them. Or am I missing some hidden agenda…
My hubby and I attended UCSC and I thought that was a hotbed of crazy politics…