I agree (and for those reasons, I’m not sure it would have been a good fit for the Wodehouse comic novel prize mentioned upthread).
I think part of the loneliness stems from the difficulty of changing Covid habits in a post-Covid world. (I was thinking when I recently read Tom Lake followed by You Are Here that there is a growing canon of Covid works, both during & aftermath.)
From the David Nicholls interview:
How did this book come together?
I was going to write a big London novel, then lockdown happened and suddenly I didn’t know what a London novel would look like. Everyone was at home, anxious and distracted. I guess that planted the seed. I was aware of how much I missed the countryside, even though I’m a Londoner who’s never really lived in the countryside. I was aware how difficult it was for friends living alone, and I was aware how difficult communication was becoming. After lockdown, I found myself tongue-tied and awkward. So those were the strands: I wanted to dig into my craving for the countryside, I wanted to write about the benefits and demands of conversation, and I wanted to write about loneliness.
I thought of “Anthem,” too. The book is all about imperfection and and putting things back together.
But I totally missed the Mark Rothko reference, so thanks!
I think Cleo also didn’t think about putting Marnie together with Michael because they live pretty far apart, and Conrad was in London. (That could also pose issues for Michael and Marnie going forward.) And it sounds like Michael wouldn’t have been the type of guy Marnie dated when she was younger. I like that their beginning romance was left unresolved; it could go either way.
I really enjoyed the book–the humor, the banter, the “relationships are like a cross-country hike” framing–all those similes! I also liked the playlist-sharing section, although I wasn’t familiar with most of the songs. Seemed like a fun way to get to know someone–you could go off on tangents, go light or deep, depending.
I am going to go listen to that playlist music, but I haven’t yet. Even in the non-playlist sections there are occasional references to specific songs.Two examples:
When Cleo first suggests to Michael the idea of going on the walk she sings Chic’s “Good Times” a 1979 disco/R and B song. I didn’t recognize the title but as soon as I listened to it I realized I’d heard it a million times. (" Happy days are here again, the time is right for makin’ friends" and “Don’t be a drag, participate”) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51r5f5OdIY0
or when Cleo accuses Marnie of being Eleanor (insert bad word) Rigby.
Our phones know everything. I was listening to a random playlist the other day and my husband interrupted to ask if the baby (our grandson) was old enough to have honey – and the very next song that came up was “Tupelo Honey” by Van Morrison.
So much depends on the individual—some are ready and able to move on pretty well while others get stuck/frozen, especially when there was a very unpleasant break up and prior relationship, I think.
I don’t agree with that at all. Or as Marnie might say, “fwa, petah, flu-ah and cha-ha” (I loved the fact that she has her own internal vocabulary.) Honestly, I don’t think that deep down, Michael believes it either – at p. 43, he’s still in a dark place, with a skeptical view of his fellow humans.
I do think meeting new people has an element of “pre-loading” (quick thoughts about what they are wearing, what they say, who they are with, etc.), but it’s more curiosity and our human tendency to make insta-judgements. It’s generally not born of “rivalry and suspicion” (unless you live in a “Mad Men” world).
Michael goes on to think:
The window for friendship was always small, and narrowed with age, and a new male friend after forty? What a strange, uneasy relationship that would be.
That part does ring true to me. “After a certain age,” it seems to be less common / harder to make close friends. The inner circle of friendships gets sort of set in stone after a while (excluding family of course, where new people appear via marriage, etc. and you grow to love them).
But maybe that’s just me Have any of you made a really close friend later in life?
I haven’t made any close friends recently, but I am working on it. Unfortunately the people I’ve been most drawn to all live far away. I’m making an effort to join groups where there is a lot of interaction with each other.
I’m becoming pretty decent friends with my next door neighbor. We never really spoke until about a decade ago. H’s closest three friends are from many decades ago. He’s becoming friends with next door neighbor too.
This last discussion made me think of The Golden Bachelorette where the best part was how the men developed friendships. Several of them discovered that filled a gap in their lives they didn’t realize they had.
After my husband retired, he started playing pickleball and has made a lot of new friends through that activity. I find my close circle of friends is pretty much the same, except for a neighbor that I’ve started to get together with more often.
I spend time with women I have know for now, thirty years, omg feeling old. In last five years have made new friends, grandchildren brought us together
My mid 30 year old son is making many new friends in his neighborhood and beyond , now, as his children participate in sports.
After reading You Are Here on my Kindle, I went to the library anyway and checked out the hardcover because of the maps. However, even a clear view of those squiggly lines wasn’t particularly enlightening.
But oh my, the distances Michael and Marnie walked! It was about 20 miles per day. I can’t even imagine. And the way Marnie described her feet at the end of the first couple of days… .
There’s no way (in my opinion) that Marnie could possibly have carried that much. I hope it was a really small laptop! Yes, she’s relatively young, but I didn’t get the sense that she had ever walked any distance, nor spent time on a treadmill or even in a gym.
When we walk we have a company that takes our bags from B and B to B and B so that we only need to carry a day pack. The maximum I’m interested in doing in a day is 14 miles and those days are killers. We are very slow walkers, take a lot of pictures and are often interested in the museums along the way. Funnily enough our two British walks have had great weather. About 1/2 an hour of rain on the Hadrian’s Wall walk and even less when we did the Southwest Coast.
If this had been a traditional rom-com, Michael would have thrown Marnie’s pack off a cliff mid-way through the hike, ala Romancing the Stone. (I know I’m dating myself, but I remember that scene in the movie so clearly. )
I consider myself in moderately good shape, and my husband and I hike in the National Parks whenever we get a chance, but there is absolutely no way I could do 14 miles a day. I’ll allow five at most, ending with a glass of wine and a comfortable bed. Plus, of course, “No Guests After 10, Please!”
I’d never be able to handle a 40 pound pack. Heck, I struggle with carrying 10 pounds of medical equipment around the city! Hiking up and down hills with 40 pounds that are not well situated on the back plus ill-fitting boots would be a disaster and no way I could walk many miles every, especially in foul weather! They surely must be made amazingly tough — I would have given up way sooner than they did.
I also liked the playlist-sharing section, although I wasn’t familiar with most of the songs. Seemed like a fun way to get to know someone–you could go off on tangents, go light or deep, depending.
Have any of you made a really close friend later in life?
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