<p>I agree with coarranged. We had this happen in our family last year, D’s BF not only had become a part of our family for over 2 years, he was also my S’s best friend and my younger son’s golf coach. It took a while for X-BF to understand that it was too hard on my D to have him at our house all the time (he had broken up with her, said his feelings had become more of friendship toward her). That was a tough conversation. We all cared about him and missed him at our dinner table every night!
I did it for my D though. I didn’t want her feeling uncomfortable in her own house.</p>
<p>Re parents remaining friends with the ex–It all depends on the terms of the breakup. Amiable or not, and who initiated it. Sometimes time heals those wounds, and sometimes it’s best to let the jerk go. </p>
<p>Sometimes, too, a kid shows one face to the parents, and another one to the BF/GF. I remember a college boyfriend my mother liked and I did too until I found out he cheated on me, made a prank call to my roommate, and was dishonest in that he would keep as his own property anything that wasn’t nailed down. It was hard to persuade my mother he really wasn’t a nice guy (without going into personal detail.) ;)</p>
<p>I find it interesting that the ex’s still want to come to dinner after breaking up, it like they are clueless to the person’s feelings and are a bit selfish, I mean, if they really felt bad, they would realize that someone was hurting, and needed to back off and not try and hangout with the old family so much, and when you think about it, that may show a bit of insensitivitey that may have been in the relationship</p>
<p>As well, parents may not see the total relationship, and see the eddie haskel…</p>
<p>I think parents first loyalty is to their only children in a breakup situation</p>
<p>If the ex has some serious family issues that the parents have been helping with, then they need to help the ex find others to help them, and start cutting the cord</p>
<p>If the bonds between the parent and the bf/gf get so intertwined and mixed up with the teens relationships, no one can really tell people’s motivations, its hard enough to keep a relationship between two people, but getting it all mixed up</p>
<p>remember when Carrie from Sex and the City was dating the family?</p>