<p>The mythology is that Hobbits’ eating habits make teen boys’ scorfing look pale by comparison. Imagine perhaps a horde of extremely hungry locusts. </p>
<p>Now we’re getting close.</p>
<p>I’d surmise a Hobbit’s brunch would feed a battalion for a week.</p>
<p>My fave Christmas tradition happen by accident. We moved to CA in the fall of (too many years ago) when our children were very young. We knew no one except for a friend who lived close by. We were away from any family.</p>
<p>That Christmas was the most wonderful and less stressful ever. We watched the kids open their gifts while sipping coffee and then spent a leisurely day helping them play with there well received bounty. No rush, no place to go, no visitors to entertain. I don’t think we got out of our PJ’s till after 2 pm. Much fun. Great dinner and then watched the kids play an exhaust themselves to sleep under the tree. Then it was me and the Mrs. time. </p>
<p>Since then we have always reserved Christmas eve for just us and our children. We don’t go out, don’t have anyone in. Just a slow, quiet, relaxing day, a good meal, a fire and a bottle of wine. The kids bolt soon after dinner, but that’s the way it is. </p>
<p>Christmas day is a much different story. (We moved back east)</p>
<p>I love the snow dumping tradition :)</p>
<p>Allowing to buy junk food before Christmas is right behind it :)</p>
<p>Keep it coming please, but do not concentrate on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, not yet:)</p>
<p>We here watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation shortly after Thanksgiving. And then for the next month we tend to watch a lot of Christmas Classics, cartoons included.</p>
<p>Oh Violadad! I hear you! My mantra lately regarding my mother-in-law’s demanding, greedy, inflexible, inconsiderate holiday demands is the following saying:</p>
<p>“Somebody is going to be unhappy in this scenario, but it doesn’t always have to be me.” </p>
<p>I really regret not backing off from this years ago and continuing this tradition that none of us enjoys. I missed an opportunity for holiday memories with my own sons. I get how important it is to my mother-in-law to look around her dinner table and see her children’s faces. I just happen to want the same thing–and the table isn’t big enough so my kids are always in three different rooms. </p>
<p>And Toblin mentions the beauty of that Christmas in California when they had no obligations, and to me that is the perfect Christmas. That is our tradition this year. We stay in our pajamas, and we don’t leave the house unless it’s to go for a walk. </p>
<p>Now, could somebody please explain it to my mother-in-law? 
My husband is 45 and only missed one Christmas eve with his mother, so I think she’s been really fortunate to have all her children together for so many years–but now it’s my turn.</p>
<p>I feel that I can reasonably expect my freshman son to spend his Christmas eve with us until he finishes college. Beyond that, who knows? Maybe he’ll be dating someone, or maybe he’ll study overseas or move far away. We may not always be together, so I intend to claim the time we have left for our family.</p>
<p>I am with you Helenback - form your own traditions. So many great ones to pick up from this thread ;)</p>
<p>Helenback, good for you, if you don’t standup for you and your family, who will?
Violadad, LOL! Considering I have an H and 2 son’s your description is quite correct.
General Menu: Fruit and nut breads, english muffins buttered and toasted under the broiler, cinnamon swirl bread also buttered and toasted under the broiler, povatica bread, sausages and cold fried chicken, a baby swiss and harvarti cheese, sliced apples and pears, jams and jelly and honey, fried or scrambled eggs, lots of fresh ground coffee and our version of mimosas; sparkling white grape juice with orange juice but with the kids being both 21 this year I think we should switch to champange! All spread out on nice linnen with of course Christmas music in the background. Fortunately my husband is a good cook and is always in the kitchen helping. This year we are on our own for Thanksgiving and they have requested this meal rather than the ususal turkey feast, then off to see the Plaza Lights turn on.</p>
<p>It is hard to say " no " to extended family. I know how much my mother loves to see all of us, but with my girls breaks so short this Christmas, I just don’t want to take 2 eight hour cars drives this year…not only that but it is a rare event that we don’t get caught in either a snowstorm or another very delayed traffic jam.
What little time we have, I want it to be relaxing.</p>
<p>A tradition carried over from my childhood: reading the “Christmas Story” from the Bible before going to bed Christmas Eve.</p>
<p>New traditions w/ H, D, & S: (1) At some point before Christmas we all sit down and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” (2) We hide a pickle ornament on the tree for D & S – whoever finds it gets to open the first present.</p>
<p>We usually decorate our house, inside and out, about 1-2 weeks before Christmas. We usually spend Christmas Eve with H’s family, having the traditional seafood dinner. After dinner, we exchange gifts with the relatives and then attend midnight mass. When we get home, my kids are allowed to open one gift - always new pajamas, and a little something extra. In the morning, we open gifts and have a simple breakfast. For several years, we have hosted my family for dinner on Christmas day, but it is such a scramble, clearing out our gifts to set up tables and get the food ready, that I begged off this year. Instead, we’ll be going to my mom’s - but we will all be bringing food. Our usual Christmas dinner consists of lasagna, ham and/or turkey, mashed or roasted potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing and cranberry sauce (if there’s turkey), and lots and lots of desserts.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add that I love some of the traditions here. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>This is a great thread. Thanks to all for sharing. Our Christmas traditions include:</p>
<p>Tacos for dinner Christmas Eve - nobody in the family can remember why, but we have been doing it for over 13 years. We suggested having something else a couple years ago and the kids (now 17.15, 11) had a revolt - tacos it was. </p>
<p>Along with a family of close friends, we go to a local tree farm to cut down our tree a week or so before Christmas. We must go with these friends and have often waited to the last minute so our schedules work out. Several years ago the tradition was interrupted by the unfortunate passing of our friends father. While the family was out of town for the funeral, we cut down a tree for them and placed it in their home and decorated it for their return two days before Christmas. They still claim this was one of the best Christmas presents they ever received. </p>
<p>Christmas lists are written to Santa and placed outside on Christmas eve under a small pile of bird seed. The “Snow Bird” then takes the list for Santa and leaves a few feathers behind for the kids. This is a tradition adopted long ago when our kids were very little and taught to them by the aforementioned “tree cutting” friends - our kids will still not give this one up - despite being long past believing in Santa. Many years I have forgotten to get the lists and leave the feathers until late Christmas eve - fun to get out of a warm bed and dig out the lists covered in ice and snow!</p>
<p>The kids decorate the tree with “their ornaments” with a rotating yearly honor as to who gets to place the first one on the tree. As with many of you, we long ago declared that we were spending Christmas morning at home as a family. No more running around the country to spend Christmas with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, etc. They are welcome to come to us. Presents and a big breakfast Christmas morning - Grands biscuits a must.</p>
<p>Mmmmmmm, we always have a big Christmas breakfast that includes aebleskivers. I like them with butter and powdered sugar, H likes maple syrup, and D has hers with Nutella.</p>
<p>Thanks for your encouraging words of support.</p>
<p>Now that I got all my snarkiness out of the way, we have a couple Christmas traditions that we’ve been able to sustain because they’re simple and short.</p>
<p>Years ago, I found this advent calendar that has a little book for each of the 24 days until Christmas, and it is the Christmas story from the book of Luke(I think) told in little snippets. We have an advent wreath that we light each night at dinner, and then we take turns reading a book each night. Sometimes we aren’t home so we might have a couple books to read in one night. I’ve tried to find other calendars like this but they discontinued it a long time ago. The other thing we do is read “The Nativity” by Julie Vivas. She does these great, whimsical water colors and it’s both beautiful and humorous. </p>
<p>Another great read-aloud book is “The Best Christmas Ever”, which is hilarious.</p>
<p>I have to say I’ve been having one mother of an existential crisis the last few years, and have really left my Catholicism behind, so it’s weird to me to be talking about advent wreaths and bible passages, but I think those things transcend religion so I’m keeping them.</p>
<p>We look forward to eating lefse during the holidays. It’s a flat Norwegian potato bread that can only be found in Minnesota and North Dakota (to the best of my knowledge). You can put butter or butter and sugar on it and roll it up. H’s family always has a steak and mushroom fondue on Christmas Eve. We wrap the cooked item in plain lefse before dipping it in a garlic sauce. Luckily the Norwegian tradition of eating lutefisk (a fish cooked with lye) has slipped by the wayside.</p>
<p>toledo, my husband is Swedish , so we have some of what he grew up eating too. Some similar fare I have been told . We spent Christmas there when my youngest was a baby and it was pretty weird for our kids, not the experience that we expected. They do not celebrate on th 25th. Christmas to them is only Christmas eve , and the 25th is for shopping for after holiday bargains. </p>
<p>Santa is Tomten and arrives to bring gifts in person to the family. The " Tomten" that my husband’s family arranged backed out at the last minute, and the substitute was an older woman who spoke no English…our kids were all pretty excited to meet Santa, so it was not only disappointing, but my then 7 year old realized that Santa wasn’t real…to see her face drop made my heart break…I tried to make something up to cover, but it didn’t work. It was upsetting because she wasn’t ready to give it up and there was no getting it back.
I told my husband that we would not spend any Christmas there again until our youngest no longer believed.
I have kept the letters to Santa that my kids left out for him on Christmas eve and I keep them with our decorations…we have fun reading them because some of them are pretty funny !</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about your bad Santa experience. I remember the day we had to tell our D about Santa, as she was 12 yrs. old and still believed. She was furious with us and vowed never to lie to her children the way we’d lied to her.</p>
<p>I love the image of the snow drop, especially the obliviousness of a teen boy not to ever think about how it happened and then imagining his pleasure at being on the other side of the event ;)</p>
<p>My MIL used to simply OWN the holiday, she had a Christmas Eve party, she wanted every one there for Christmas day and my mom, bless her little heart, went along for a few years even though she was always seated at that leftover table :(</p>
<p>Once i had my first kid I made a stand and told every one to come to our house and bring any one they wanted. We had groups of 12-40 over the years. </p>
<p>Once we moved away it was more difficult to coordinate when the two sides of the family would visit. We ended up giving his family before Christmas and the actual day. My parents would be there for the day, but my siblings would do things in their home town and connect after Christmas. </p>
<p>Now we are even farther and his parents don’t travel. It is difficult for my DH to think of his mom alone on Christmas, but I am not spending over $1000-$1500 to fly my family there. DH & I always go visit after the actual day, but the kids have lives and it is not reasonable for them to go to the grandparents on that one day. I think I am a little brutal about it in reaction to years of being manipulated by in laws to do just what they want. This will only be the 3rd Christmas they have not traveled and a step brother will be there this year, so we are off the hook for that, but I can see it will be an issue that causes a strain!</p>
<p>Funny too, these were several years where my parents could not travel and his did and no one made a big deal of it, it just was life and my parents chose not to over value a certain day of the month, instead we got together after. There must have been 4-6 years when my parents did not travel here, but there was no whinging and now they live here! His mom has always been soo high maintenance that he wants to please her even when it is unfair.</p>
<p>And then, with parents aging, what do you do when they move into ‘the home’? Then there is no place to stay and no kitchen to cook a big dinner, yet you have to think of them far away and alone, that will be very sad, but I don’t know the answer yet???</p>
<p>It took me a long time to have it feel festive if there was a single digit sized group after all the years of huge happenings, but now I appreciate the simplicity of just us.</p>
<p>It definitely has a different feel to it when you have a smaller group, but I really love seeing my boys hanging out with each other. I think the thing about the holidays is that things change. What might’ve worked for awhile might not work anymore. This really gets to be a problem when people(like my m-i-l) are not willing to try different things. I feel like it will be tempting to tug at my sons and try to demand their time at the holidays, but I also think I’d rather see them when they’re truly happy to be here and not feel like I’m an obligation. I don’t want to be a source of stress in their lives. That is what I can’t really comprehend about my m-i-l. She’d rather have us there, but completely resentful and miserable.</p>
<p>I hadn’t thought that far ahead to the parents and in-laws actually being in a home. At least then my m-i-l can’t be mad at us for not showing up. Although, now that I think about it, when we were first married my husband’s grandmother was in a home. She had hip and leg problems, but was alert and bright. We visited her regularly. Where the hell was she on all those Christmas Eves? I’m pretty sure somebody could’ve picked her up, but nobody did. Hmmmmmm. My m-i-l is remarkably unsentimental when it comes to other people’s feelings.</p>
<p>I think tacos is a great idea for xmas eve.
If we don’t go to the mountains- I think we will have Thai food.
( my 18 year old says she doesn’t care if we don’t go- but I really want to go one more time- plus- if we stayed here- guess who would have to organize everything?)</p>
<p>We did enjoy the family traditions that ran the B & B-
On Xmas eve, they always had short ribs, from her grandmothers recipe- very good, served on her grandmothers xmas Spode china. ( which gave me a stroke when the 4 year olds went to the sideboard to fill their plate)
( we hung our stocking in our room- but last year we forgot them!!!- we did bring the presents though)</p>
<p>Next morning- we got to sleep in for breakfast ( normally it is at 8) & had grandmas sweet rolls among other things.
Santa also always left our family a new mug or cup for each member- so over the years we have accumulated quite a hoard- that is if it wasn’t so fragile and if we weren’t so klutzy.</p>
<p>For dinner- it was the turkey- and various side dishes, with two kinds of pie.
Oh yes, before dinner- they brought out veggies and dip/cheeses for those who were starving from the smells.</p>
<p>After dinner we sing carols & usually take a walk.
The first year we went, it was a full moon and clear & we went for a ski around the meadow after dinner ( ski right outside the door)
thats how we got hooked in.</p>