Your thoughts on this situation?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Most white people I know seem to pause, think, and then carefully say, “African American” when referring to black people. I assume it’s because Jesse Jackson --the self-proclaimed leader of all black people" said that’s what to do. I appreciate my white friends’ efforts, but Jesse isn’t my leader, and I don’t care whether people use “African -American” or “black,” the term I usually use unless referring specifically to nonimmigrant black people who live in this country. </p>

<p>I wrote a satire about this that was performed last year and was well received including by my European-American friends. :)</p>

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<p>There’s no logic involved; it’s just what I consider courtesy. (And I’m not dictating that you ought to do the same. This is just me.)</p>

<p>If you politely and sincerely told me that you think of yourself as Swedish-American, I would try to refer to you that way, at least publicly, although I might roll my eyes privately.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if you indignantly implied that I was stupid for not realizing that you are Swedish-American and not white, and how dare I, etc., then I’d probably call you white just to spite you.</p>

<p>And keep in mind that, no matter what I call you in public, in private conversation I can call you whatever I want, including “racially oversensitive dingbat”. I do not have a holier-than-thou attitude about it. What you are called in public is, I believe, a matter of sensitivity to your feelings, but what I think about you and say about you to my friends and family is none of your business.</p>

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<p>You know what, Northstarmom, I have a lot of respect for Rev. Jackson, and also Rev. Al Sharpton (despite the T. Brawley fiasco that launched him to national prominence).</p>

<p>I mean that in all sincerity. I think it must be tough to carry that alertness with you every day. I think Rev. Jackson is absolutely necessary to the national conscience. He is a very, very inconvenient and tough person, and I hold such people in high esteem. He doesn’t have to be your leader or anyone’s leader, even if he thinks so. He just has to open his mouth occasionally and ask the inconvenient question: “What was the motivation here?”</p>

<p>And Al Sharpton, I have to say, I think he has one of the best minds in the business (national punditry). He is incredibly quick on the button, and sometimes really funny. Whenever Al Sharpton is on a panel, you know you’re in for some of the best debate anywhere. Wish he’d change his hairstyle though![Google</a> Image Result for <a href=“http://www.greatertalent.com/backend/speakers/262/Sharpton,%20Al.jpg[/url]”>http://www.greatertalent.com/backend/speakers/262/Sharpton,%20Al.jpg](<a href=“http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.greatertalent.com/backend/speakers/262/Sharpton,%2520Al.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.greatertalent.com/AlSharpton&usg=__9XUuy455hSN25HCShE9v_oVIyiA=&h=304&w=240&sz=10&hl=en&start=16&um=1&tbnid=fdTZDnfOyoEYlM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=92&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dal%2Bsharpton%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den-us%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1]Google”>http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.greatertalent.com/backend/speakers/262/Sharpton,%2520Al.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.greatertalent.com/AlSharpton&usg=__9XUuy455hSN25HCShE9v_oVIyiA=&h=304&w=240&sz=10&hl=en&start=16&um=1&tbnid=fdTZDnfOyoEYlM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=92&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dal%2Bsharpton%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den-us%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1)</a></p>

<p>mantori:

Why is it okay to call me that in private, mantori? Is it okay to call people who take umbrage at the term “oriental” to describe people-whose-heritage-is-in-the-region-known-as-the-Orient “racially oversensitive dingbats” then?</p>

<p>I’m just wondering why there is a different standard for the semantic sensitivity of some and not others?</p>

<p>Can’t we all just get along?</p>

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<p>The one thing this string of conversation has done is convinced me that it is easier and safer to never ask for or give an opinion since you will undoubtedly insult or disrespect soemone out there in Cyber space. I was really enjoying CC but this one string of conversation that I had posted on has turned me off completely. I honestly and truly hope our children grow up and come out of college much more open minded and accepting of each other regardless of race, religion, skin color, nationality, home environment or handycap. I doubt very much that I will be coming back to this site anytime soon</p>

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<p>It really is, because we live in a free society. If you think I’m a dingbat, it’s your right to think that. As members of a civil society, it’s our responsibility to be civil to one another in order to keep our society harmonious, but our private thoughts belong to each individual and no one else.</p>

<p>In time, by *acting *respectfully to one another, we will really become respectful of one another, and our children will see our behavior and carry on that mutual respect to future generations.</p>

<p>After all, since it is not possible to control someone’s private thought or behavior, what is the point of trying? But behavior in public, that we can control, and should. I think this is reasonable.</p>

<p>Think about black civil rights in the South. No legislation could possibly prevent whites from hating blacks, thinking about their hatred, or talking about it behind closed doors. But it could change their public behavior, and so over time we have made progress.</p>

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<p>percussiondad, you should grow a thicker skin. Regardless of the opinions expressed here, I believe that everyone participating in this discussion is a nice, intelligent person whom I would gladly have lunch with. What are anonymous forums like this good for, if not expressing ideas freely? It’s not meant personally. Please stick around and enjoy CC’s many benefits.</p>

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<p>mantori in #125, this is really well said, I think, and your arguments become more precise the more you express them.</p>

<p>Another note to Northstarmom, you know, I am a huge Jesse Jackson fan and I am also your fan. In this thread and the Costco doll thread I took a page out of the Rev. Jackson playbook and said “If it’s ok to refer to a certain heritage as this, but not ok to refer to another heritage as this, why?” I have noticed that you sometimes post provoking things and I don’t always agree with you (the National Parks visiting thing), but even when I disagree you always make me think. Maybe people don’t tell you that enough. I hope you never leave this board. You are SO important.</p>

<p>Tipping my poker hand, I have to say that I appreciate insights about why some words are hurtful to African-Americans. Even though my (Swedish, lol) ancestors were never involved in the vast crime of slavery, it is a shameful past. We in this country should never be allowed to forget that some of the great-great-grandmothers and fathers of many (one in four) Americans were slaves of others before the Civil War – cit. Ken Burns. Similarly references, and treatment of, Native-Americans should be handled with the utmost respect and as much awareness as possible. We have an ignoble past in regards to them. Jews also, within memory of some still living, have suffered terribly, and Americans have not always responded appropriately to anti-semitism. Hispanics and Asians, sorry, you guys are on your own! Oh wait, there was that Mexican-American war thing, and the concentration camp internment of some Asian-Americans during the Second World War. Shoot! We s**k!</p>

<p>percussiondad, oh, I think you will come back. In fact I think you are reading this right now. :slight_smile: (don’t flounce, it’s unbecoming). I love the way that we Americans shout and rant and then get over it. It’s a strength, not a weakness.</p>

<p>p.s., be ready for our descendants to have to learn respect for all the cultures who were mistreated after 9/11. …for Americans to appreciate the various Muslim factions, for Americans to learn that a man in a turban can be Sikh, not Muslim, that Iranians are not Arabs…I don’t think our learning this is in any way bad.</p>

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<p>This isn’t really about etymology. Although etymology is easier to dwell on, evidently. “White” was never seen as a pejorative by white Americans until recently, when it started to dawn on them that it WAS used pejoratively by some other groups. My hunch is that this comes as a shock to many, thus all the growing pains.</p>

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<p>recently? that would be what? 1972?</p>

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<p>I had an experience similar to this the other day, althouth it was more mellow.
I was driving down a 2 lane, 55 MPH highway and a dodge ram 3500 pulled out in front of me as I was going at a decent rate. I simply got over to the right lane in attempts to pass the truck, and as I did so the truck seemed like it took offence to me getting over. So the truck slammed the gas pedal and accelerated faster than I’ve seen any duely accelerate before, into probably 75MPH+. But as the truck (still in front of me) passed the next speed limit sign they hit their brakes and slowed down to around 50MPH, and started swerving into my lane ahead of me as if they were threatening me if I were to pass. So I slowed down to match speed with the truck, while behind it in the right lane, and causiously started speeding up again, thinking “This isn’t their road, and I can go the speed limit if I want…” So as I was passing on the right side, the truck starts blowing the airhorn like 20+ times, while, and after I passed it, the truck got behind me and started to tailgate me. I was starting to freak out at this point, and sped up to 65MPH and so did the truck. Luckely a light was approaching, and the light turned yellow and I hit the gas! I cleared the light, and the truck behind me stoped! I never saw the truck again that day, and hope to never see it again.
It’s a very memorable truck and has a bunch of animal skulls, and cowboy hats in the window, so it’s tatooed onto my brain.</p>