As luck would have it, on our flight back from visiting schools I was seated next to a man who had graduated from a HADES school. He did NOT send this kids to BS precisely because of the strict disciplinary policies in which the stakes are so high for kids being caught pushing boundaries, which is what the adolescent brain is programmed to do.
He said it could really distort kids’ development. That by senior year, kids at BS become extraordinarily good at managing two very distinct selves, one for adult consumption and one for peers. He said it made them absolute masters at keeping secrets and hiding things. (But that it didn’t keep them for partying hard). He claimed it made them less likely to go to adults for help, too because it turned adults into the police. The stricter the policies, the more underground the kids’ go with their behavior.
He chose to keep his kids at home because he wanted them to know that they were loved even if they made mistakes and faulty decisions. He didn’t think minor offenses deserved punishments that might have longer term consequences that didn’t fit the crime.
I had NEVER thought about things from that perspective. Would love @sadieshadow and anyone else with insight into adolescent development.
He did say that if he sent his kids to BS, he would avoid his alma mater and any school with easy access to empty houses nearby (meaning access to country homes or homes left empty due to traveling parents.)